StartingAnew Posted December 2, 2007 Share Posted December 2, 2007 I have dated this girl for 4 years - Me 25 and her 22. I met her during her first year of college. I was her first long term relationship. She graduated and moved in with me against my immediate wishes. I wanted her to move to her house and get her feet set before moving in with me. After three months of living with me she became depressed and didnt want to look for a job or even hang out with friends. I told her she had to move out and get her life back together. She made me promise to wait for her which I did. She is now ignoring me and when I call or text her only response is "leave me alone." I spoke with her friends briefly and they say she is free and empowered and being young again and that she will come back. However, what I get from the ex is that she is completely done forever. Which do I beleive? I have been no contact for 10 days now and find that she landed a full time job and is having a great time for her freinds which is exactly what I wanted for her. Will she ever hold up her end of the deal? At this point I am thinking that maybe some switch went off in her head and she can just forget all about me like that! Link to post Share on other sites
WakeUpPeople Posted December 2, 2007 Share Posted December 2, 2007 If she wants you to leave her alone then respect her wishes...Don't fight it..keep doing no contact if she really loves you or has very strong feelings for you then she'll be back if you play ur part correctly..During no contact focus on yourself and whats important to you...try hitting the gym, things to keep your mind off her.. u will heal and find someone new, right now after 4yrs of dating shes testing the waters and seeing if the grass is greener on the another side....practice being aloof and apathy...very effective....your vanishing from the face of the earth which u have the last 10 days. Your going to remain in no contact for at least a month...NO EMAILS, NO TEXT, NO CALLS, NO NOTHING...she'll be back, just let time do its thing...start dating other people but take it lightly, if u happen to speak to her after u do ur month of no contact and ya speak again keep it least than 5 mins and act un interested about her life and u must end the call first...if she asks u, r u dating other people say yes that she'll know u anit sitting down waiting for her..jealously is a powerful emotion that can send her flying back to U..u'll be fine champ just follow the advice...because we can offer the information but its up to u weither u want to use it and open ur eyes... Link to post Share on other sites
Ariadne Posted December 2, 2007 Share Posted December 2, 2007 Hi, Why is she ignoring me? Because she started a new life and you are not in it. You are a part of the past. A past where she felt useless, you were supporting her and telling her to move out because she had no job. Now she did and is done with you. She might come back though, you never know, but she is in a new ride now. Ariadne Link to post Share on other sites
Trialbyfire Posted December 2, 2007 Share Posted December 2, 2007 I have dated this girl for 4 years - Me 25 and her 22. I met her during her first year of college. I was her first long term relationship. She graduated and moved in with me against my immediate wishes. I wanted her to move to her house and get her feet set before moving in with me. After three months of living with me she became depressed and didnt want to look for a job or even hang out with friends. I told her she had to move out and get her life back together. She made me promise to wait for her which I did. She is now ignoring me and when I call or text her only response is "leave me alone." I spoke with her friends briefly and they say she is free and empowered and being young again and that she will come back. However, what I get from the ex is that she is completely done forever. Which do I beleive? I have been no contact for 10 days now and find that she landed a full time job and is having a great time for her freinds which is exactly what I wanted for her. Will she ever hold up her end of the deal? At this point I am thinking that maybe some switch went off in her head and she can just forget all about me like that! I also agree that you should respect her wishes. My normal response to people who want and need space is, take it, as much as you want and more. If you think about the psychology of it all, she probably felt you rejected her by forcing her out of your life and home. She's now repaying you in kind. For whatever reason this is happening, better to get on with your life, than to pine away for someone who isn't clearly worth your time and effort. Don't wait. Link to post Share on other sites
Author StartingAnew Posted December 3, 2007 Author Share Posted December 3, 2007 Your advice is sound, yet I am still confused by the friends advice. They say just give her space and she will get in touch with me. Her actions however are different and specifically told me on the phone that she is done foerver. Maybe after she has that one night stand and feels crappy about herself she will turn it around. This is what I wanted for her and hopefully one day she will call up and thank me. I guess nice guys always finish last! Link to post Share on other sites
WakeUpPeople Posted December 3, 2007 Share Posted December 3, 2007 Dont let ur heart betray ur mind...everybody can offer u advice and what works but the bad part about it is that only u can open ur own eyes..like fellow poster said, shes done wit u...u have to learn to accept and get rid of the hope in ur mind.. Do u hear urself "hopefully she'll have a one night stand and wake up" grow some nuts, by any means thats not acceptable....stop hoping that will bring u more pain, move on with ur life, its a hard road but u must take it. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts