Jump to content

Ex g/f is destroying me


Recommended Posts

I am in a very tough position. I still love my ex after being broken up for 1 month. We hardly communicate and only through texting every few days. Anyways, I did a bad thing and it is killing me. I seen her car at the bar last nite and I stopped and looked into the window and seen her there with a girlfriend and 2 guys. I don't know if it was a date or what. So I texted her saying "Do you still love me?" And when she got it she looked very excited or shocked. She shown her g/f the text and she said not to respond or shook her head. Me ex looked like she said, "but I do still love him." Not sure though. That was late like 12:30 AM. Then I get a text at 2:00 AM saying "Where did that come from, you drunk?" So that is probably right when she got home when she wrote that. So I say "no, I just wanted to know." Then she kept asking why and when I said something about feelings, its like she started getting cold. She then went into saying "I told you you would lose me" and things like that. So my last text I asked if she woud meet me today and I never got a response.

Everything is just killing me. I never slept one minute last night. By the way, she broke up with me cause I went to the bar on halloween. She is 25. I guess what I am thinking is this. I was thinking about just stopping by her place to talk or grap lunch if she will go just to talk. I am thinking of moving and was going to tell her that. I just don't know what else to do.

Link to post
Share on other sites

She broke up with you because you went to a bar on Halloween? Did something happen at the bar? She's 25 and how old are you, if you don't my asking you that is?

 

Seeing that she hasn't responded to meeting up with you, it shows that she is moving on. Or is there a reason for you to think otherwise?

Link to post
Share on other sites

Hi Budd. I understand that you are in a rough situation right now, and I completley know where you are comeing from. Listen, you text her, she responded back. You put yourself out there and let her know how you feel. You even asked her to meet you, yet no responce.

 

She knows how you feel about her. The ball is in her court, and let her make the next move. I would highly recommend against showing up at her place or where she works. Thats borderline stalking and if anything will push her further away.

 

Please take this time and reeavalute your feelings and thoughts. Try NC for awhile. NC is not just for you but also a way for her to think things over. Who knows maybe she will miss you and reconsider things, but maybe not.

 

Look I know it hurts, but please take care of yourself during this time. One thing that helped me was reading through the past threads. What is meant to be will be my dear

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Author

I am 28. She broke it off cause she is jealous and always thinks the worst, although never is. She says there is no one else and that she needs to consentrate on her and getting her life in order. I agree with that cause she doesn't have a whole lot going good. Anyways, she text me this morning and asked "what I wanted to meet up about?" I didn't know what to say so I replied "U will c." Then she says "no I want to know im tired of the games." I wrote "there is no game, I promise." And now no response. So what should I do now? I know when I see her she acts different. She seems to care more and thats why I want to. Make her remember what I look like and such. What do you think?

Link to post
Share on other sites

if she's asking you why you want to meet her that to me seems like she is afraid you will bring up the relationship and talk about what went wrong etc. with the intention to get back together, something she does not want to. If she wanted to be with you, she would not ask any questions and just meet you.

 

I think you would make a big mistake if you met her and poured your heart. If she agrees to meet, just play it cool and don't talk about your feelings. It may be your last chance to impress her.

On the other hand, considering your current emotional status I would advice to avoid any contact for the time being. Give yourself sometime to heal and then contact her.

Also, the reason of the break up sounds like an excuse. In any case, she sounds like a very insecure person and I don't think it would be a sane relationship to be in. Think about it...you're very young and there are many stable girl out there to hang out with. Pass on her and go out to have some fun. She is not worth the stress.

 

Good luck buddy.

Link to post
Share on other sites

Been there, done that. U will do what u feel despite what anyone says so ill just say this anyway haha...If she canned you for going to the bar it probably means that she doesnt trust you..and if you guys get hooked up again it will more than likely cause bigger problems down the road...so your call...also...i would probably back off for a while and just make it seem like you dont give a s***. If you keep on contacting her or showing up at her house it will just push her away cause she will feel like she can have you any time she feels like it..make her miss you..play hard to get and before you know it she will be crawling back to you! No doubt. l8ter

Link to post
Share on other sites

I'm not going to let anyone stop me from doing things I love to do and I'm not going to do that either. Trust is a must in a relationship and if you don't have that, might as well don't get into one.

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Author

Yesterday she told me she was sick and I did end up stopping by her place. I seen her mom was there also so I thought it would be perfect since it would'nt be one on one. I brought her a bolw of soup, a ornament for her tree, a card, and sum fall flowers. Long story on why I had sum of those gifts. Anyways, She seemed glad to see me. They were cleaning her apartment and I helped where I could. Her mom left and we sat and talked a long time. She then agreed to going out to eat with me. Right when we got there she started talking about sum of the same problems she always has and started getting cold. She said she has a bad feeling about being next to me, which made her sick to her stomach. I let her vent to me while I listened. I learned that it is all about her not trusting me and always feeling like I have done something bad. I apologized for any hard feelings and assured her of no bad. I also did spill my heart and she kept saying that she does'nt believe me. She thinks I am all about games. Not true. Well, she was very distant until I told her exactly how I felt. I even had tears. I then could tell she did'nt want to leave and wanted to hear everything I was saying. We finally left, and she wanted to stop at a few stores with me but they were closed. Her mom was having a very bad day, so I brought up that we should help her out. She runs a cleaning buiness, so I said lets go help her clean. We went and cleaned 3 businesses with her mom. We then went and had a snack at a restraunt and talked again with her mom too. It did feel normal again. I then dropped her off at her place and she sat in my car for a few minutes and said thanks. I drove home and when I got home I said "hope you feel better." She responded. Then calls me an hour later to tell me we knew someone that was on a tv show that she was watching. When I answered she asked where I was right away. We talked briefly and then 10 minutes later she texts "I don't think you are really home, have fun." So I took a pic and sent it and said "Ask for any other pic and I will send one, I want you to trust me with everything." Then we both said gnite.

We ended up hanging out for almost 9 hours yesterday. It took a lot for me to go to her place, especially with her mom there, but I wanted her mom to know how I felt and wasn't scared. My ex did say that she thinks we needed to not talk for awhile to see if I would really miss her and know that she was really what I wanted.

One last thing. She said her friends would see me out and that I were with girls, which wasn't true. So I said, that I heard she was out sith some guys the other night. I know what was true and she denied being there with those guys. I know she came with them and stuff, but why would she lie about that?

Link to post
Share on other sites
Da_1_n_OnlyN3na

well because if it didnt mean anything to her being there with those guys then that is why she denies it.. lol i do that.. i am a jealous biitch too and i think the worst of my bf...were on a break because of me...my jealousy,i dont trust him after what he did to me, umm and i pick too much fights thinking the worst of him...why doesnt she trust you did you cheat on her before???

Link to post
Share on other sites
One last thing. She said her friends would see me out and that I were with girls, which wasn't true. So I said, that I heard she was out sith some guys the other night. I know what was true and she denied being there with those guys. I know she came with them and stuff, but why would she lie about that?

 

You've showed her yesterday how much you want to fix things (am I right?)... of course it would take more than just that one day to fix things or make her trust you again but coming up with something like "She said her friends would see me out and that I were with girls" that is so lame. Why can't people just bloody tell the truth? Why must they come up with those 'tests'...

 

If you want to save this, you will have to earn her trust back but you're not the only one that has to work for this relationship, she has to do her part. I have been in love but I don't get jealous over something petty or stupid like my boyfriend hanging out at bars.

Link to post
Share on other sites
funkybassplayer

The trouble with jelousy is that it pushes the other person away and in some cases the constant presure that gets placed on the head of the other person will push them into other peoples arms, looking for the love they dont have in the relationship. Jelous people are not showning love at all, but quite the opposite. If they loved you they would trust you, and you would be happy. Also you find them to be attention seeking, controlling, and can be quite moody people to be around. A partner like this is very hard to be with (i know) but the choice is yours. You wont change thier ways, they have to do that for themselves.

Link to post
Share on other sites
Da_1_n_OnlyN3na

tell me about it...lol im one of those jealous biitches and i got alot to work on to change that because its hurting my relationship...

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Author

No, I have never cheated on her before. She thinks otherwise though, but I have'nt. As far as the guy goes, I know who he is. Not personally though, but there was a tiny situation this summer with him. He was really cocky to me at a bar this summer about my girl and I was going to kick his azz. I backed down though cause I know my girl would of hated me fighting. She was there too. Anyways, In our conversation yesterday I asked about him. I asked if she had a crush on him. I said it is fine if you did, just be honest. She said "Are you kidding me, I graduated H.S with that kid. He is way more full of himself then you." I know people lie though and maybe she does like the kid. Hard to say, maybe just a friend also.

Link to post
Share on other sites
The trouble with jelousy is that it pushes the other person away and in some cases the constant presure that gets placed on the head of the other person will push them into other peoples arms, looking for the love they dont have in the relationship. Jelous people are not showning love at all, but quite the opposite. If they loved you they would trust you, and you would be happy. Also you find them to be attention seeking, controlling, and can be quite moody people to be around. A partner like this is very hard to be with (i know) but the choice is yours. You wont change thier ways, they have to do that for themselves.

 

You can't be funkier than what you just said! It is hard to be with someone like this and that is why I am not one of these people.

Link to post
Share on other sites
×
×
  • Create New...