sedgwick Posted September 1, 2007 Share Posted September 1, 2007 Oh god...I decided it would be a good idea to talk to him. He called and I answered and it led to an hour and a half of "closure." Basically he just contradicted everything he said the last time we talked, and I was crying when I got off the phone...like I ALWAYS am lately. I had a really good long cry, and then I started to feel relieved that I no longer have to come second to music. I no longer have to be a band widow. I no longer have to worry about how he can't take care of his physical health. He is starved and sleep-deprived and running from something I can't see. As much as it hurts, I have to let him go. I felt better when we weren't talking. I really don't expect to ever hear from him again, and I'm still very, very sad about that, and I still can't imagine ever loving anyone else, etc. But sitting around pining for him isn't doing anything constructive for me, and the best thing I can do is just stop talking to him and get over him. The longer you go without talking to them, the better you feel, and then you talk and you feel terrible all over again. Maybe the reason I'm going through this breakup is to learn that sometimes it really is all about them and has nothing to do with you. He actually said, at one point, "I didn't fall out of love with you, but I felt like I might so I broke up before I did." I mean...wtf? That's his issue, not mine. Anyway, don't call them, seriously. Just walk away. I've successfully fought urges to call him for the last 48 hours, so hopefully I can keep on doing it in the future. Link to post Share on other sites
Fun2BMe Posted September 1, 2007 Share Posted September 1, 2007 I'm not clear why you broke up with him - you both love each other but you were scared he was going to fall out of love? Or because you were sick of his bad health? I recently broke my NC too, three times with 3 exes and feel terrible about it but I guess you just have to learn and move on. In your situation, it sounds like it was good since you describe it as having brought closure. Try to be positive about it and not feel so regretful that it happened. Link to post Share on other sites
niceguy27 Posted September 1, 2007 Share Posted September 1, 2007 Yeah. I finally switched my cell phone to one that can block numbers and I blocked hers. That way, she will have to leave a voicemail if she calls AND I wont be tempted to pickup if she pops up on my caller id. Link to post Share on other sites
Author sedgwick Posted September 1, 2007 Author Share Posted September 1, 2007 fun2beme, he broke up with me. I totally wanted to be with him. Everything was really good right up until the second he told me he felt like he needed to be with another musician and then left to go on tour for 3 months. It's like his personality just totally changed overnight. He told me he hadn't fallen out of love with me yet but he was afraid he was going to so he broke up with me. He's all, "I can't believe you of all people don't realize things change," and just acting really aloof all of a sudden. He's not with anyone else and doesn't want to be, but if he does find her, ever, apparently she's going to be a musician. Very baffling and abrupt and awful. Link to post Share on other sites
Fun2BMe Posted September 1, 2007 Share Posted September 1, 2007 As long as you are in love with him, a break is going to be hurtful no matter how it's done. In your situation, it sounds like he has his eyes set on another girl and is being responsible by breaking up with you instead of cheating behind your back. He's taking a gamble since he doesn't know if it'll work out with her, which is why he's saying he thinks he might fall out of love with you, as in if things were to work out with the other girl. At least you know now that no matter how good things were to be between you, he would be capable of falling for another girl so it was only a matter of time until you had to reach this point unfortunately. It must be extra hard considering both of your feelings for each other. You definitely have to go completely NC from now on to heal... Hope you feel better soon. Link to post Share on other sites
Author sedgwick Posted September 2, 2007 Author Share Posted September 2, 2007 I know for sure that there's not another girl. He's told me there's not, his friends have told me there's not, and I do believe him -- one of the biggest issues here is that he's on the road 8 months out of the year and has no time to be with anyone. When I talked to him the other night he just kept talking about how he didn't want to have a relationship at all. I think he would tell me if there really was someone else. He's so overworked and overbooked he's living on coffee and cigarettes and not taking care of his physical health. That's more the problem than him cheating. Link to post Share on other sites
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