cr8sea Posted July 31, 2007 Share Posted July 31, 2007 SO....loong story short. Im seeing this guy, we've been dating for two months. Everything was pretty good. Ive had a few doubts mostly coming from past hurts, and being afraid of being hurt again. Anyway last two weeks, my doubts were erased by how he behaved etc. We were getting into each other a lot and i thought we were gonna become exclusice. Well i made the mistake of asking too soon...and he got extremely defensive. He said he likes his independence and it was too soon to talk about it. He also mentioned about how when past gfs asked about that usually things went downhill afterwards bc he knew they wanted something he couldnt give them. Now i got it in my head that he's weary that im trying to tie him down, and worst trying to trick him into commiting because i said i wouldnt sleep with him or anyone else unless i was in an exclusive relationship (for moral, health and hyginic reasons!). He's still sweet and loving, despite what happened but i cant help think he's acting until he gets the nerve, and its enough time so he doesnt look like a bad guy. Bassically im paranoid! SO this got me to think that i should break it off...i like him a lot, but my thoughts really puts a damper on spending time with him. At the same time i feel bad not giving him the benefit of the doubt. should i wait to see what happens? or should i run for the hills and dump him before he dumps me?? help me please!!! Link to post Share on other sites
Quinch Posted July 31, 2007 Share Posted July 31, 2007 It's always better to be the dumper because you retain some control of the situation. When you're the dumpee you have no control. Link to post Share on other sites
Reactor Posted July 31, 2007 Share Posted July 31, 2007 You're in a tricky situation. It sounds alot like my ex and myself. Ask yourself..you've only been going out two months, do you know him all that well? It sounds to me like you both got carried away and lost your footing in the tide as it goes. Now I'm not one to be giving relationship advice, but you sound like you kind of went into the relationship like a bull in a china shop (like my ex). The problem with this is you put this person on a pedestal, but they can't live upto your expectations, ever. If you continue like this you will find that one day he will do something to upset/hurt you and you won't be able to accept it and that picturesqe view of him you had disappears into the void and is gone forever. Maybe you should throttle back and get to know him more as a friend (the best relationships often happen because the people involved are best of friends - so I'm told anyway). Maybe you should have a chat with him, a proper chat, and tell him how you feel and see how he reacts, if he is adamant that he cannot and will not change, well you have your answer... Link to post Share on other sites
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