pineapple2007 Posted March 20, 2007 Share Posted March 20, 2007 Hey all, (I’ll try and keep this short) 3 days ago I ended it with my boyfriend of 7 months. The main reason I broke it off was because he is dependent on alcohol and when he drinks, he feels the need to be out in the night life(partying), and doesn’t stop there. He ends up in after-hours clubs/bars and looks for drugs: coke, weed, and always ends up getting it, and does it. Sometimes he doesn’t remember what happened the night before and I have heard he engages in very promiscuous behaviour with strangers… and of course, does not remember these encounters. So I said to myself “wait a minute, this guy is going to bring some STD to me!” (he has already been exposed to some in the past). so I got scared, and angered, so I ended it in a calm firm manner. I told him “look, I cant be with u if u are going to continue to drink and hurt urself coz it hurts me, and puts me and my health in GREAT danger."And the gist of his response was, “well I don’t think I am going to stop, ive always been like this, I’ll always BE like this”……….. so it was kind of mutual…(?!) Now I am seriously second guessing. The thoughts of “should I have stayed a bit longer? What if he thinks I am weak or bad for leaving him? What if he needs my help, what if he’s hurt. What if hes waiting for me to call, should I call to see how hes doing?” will not stop going through my head. I keep getting urges to call and tell him how much I love and care deeply for him. But I can’t do that, I’ll look like a big idiot. But I love him so much:( …and the thought of him out there without me is scary and it hurts a lot. We were like best friends also, I was the main person in his life… And all of this makes my urges that much stronger… I know I made the right decision. I am a very ambitious young adult and I am currently working very hard to put myself through college. I am surrounded by people just like my myself. So why the hell can’t I just accept my own decision? Why am I second guessing myself this intensively. Like somewhere deep down inside is saying “wow, you should not have done that!!” ….Any advice?? should I go back? did i do the right thing??????? Link to post Share on other sites
Yernasia Quorelios Posted March 20, 2007 Share Posted March 20, 2007 ....you have taken an objective assessment of the situation, particularly with regard to your health and taken the only sensible route open to you. The reason you are having all this second guessing is complex but essentially comes down to you being a caring person and wondering if there was more you could have done to help this troubled individual who clearly doesn't want to help themselves. These feelings are perfectly natural and those of a decent, kind human being. Stay strong, stay away from him and good luck. Link to post Share on other sites
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