Will I ever feel better?

[03giraffe]

[FONT=Times New Roman][sIZE=3] Oh where to start? I have been dating a guy on/off for 2 ½ years. We have both been married before and I am the kind of person that has just been long-term relationships, 4 years, 2 years, 7 years. So I feel like I know what it feels like to really love someone and I really, really loved this guy. He is insanely jealous and sensitive and I fear that he has bipolar disorder because he is an angel one day and the next he is stomping around and I have no idea what I did wrong. You never know which day it’s going to be. We are broken up right now, and I am about to lose my mind. I miss him SO bad. I try really hard to just think of all the bad stuff that has happened between us. He gets violent very easily and accusing me of cheating all time, when it’s his insecurities, not that I have done anything. It really has taken a toll on my self esteem that he thinks so little of my loyalty to him. I just feel lost without him. It has been a month today. We used to have so much fun together and we were best friends. We broke up this time because he accused me of being with my ex-husband, when I was just working late. Sometimes I think he thinks I am cheating because he is not doing what he should be doing.[/sIZE][/FONT]

[FONT=Times New Roman][sIZE=3]What can I do to feel better? I have several guys that want to go out with me and I have absolutely no interest at all. No one could ever be as sweet and special as he has been to me, when he it’s a good day. I have told him that I worry about his mood swings and he just blows it off as me being too sensitive. [/sIZE][/FONT]

[FONT=Times New Roman][sIZE=3]I know that I should be staying busy and doing things that don’t remind me of him. But it is lodged in my brain to think about him 24/7 and I am border-line depressed about it all.[/sIZE][/FONT]

[FONT=Times New Roman][sIZE=3]It doesn’t seem fair to me, to go out with another guy because he wouldn’t mean anything tome at all. I know that he has already been out with girls and he goes out every night with his friends.[/sIZE][/FONT]

[FONT=Times New Roman]I just want to feel better and feel like I can love someone else again one day that is nice to me.[/FONT]

[Davis]

He is insanely jealous and sensitive and I fear that he has bipolar disorder because he is an angel one day and the next he is stomping around and I have no idea what I did wrong. You never know which day it’s going to be. I miss him SO bad. He gets violent very easily.

 

What can I do to feel better? I have several guys that want to go out with me and I have absolutely no interest at all. No one could ever be as sweet and special as he has been to me, when he it’s a good day.

 

Giraffe. Re-read what you just wrote above. If someone had written this besides you, how would you repsond and what would you think of the person they were dating??

 

You "miss him SO bad" and "he gets violent very easily". WHAT is there to miss? This IS NOT a good relationship or situation for you to be in. Let me guess, he has an addiction problem, too, right? He's sweet one day and is unpredictable and violent? RUN!! He sounds like your everyday abusive guy. It's best for you to get out now before he gets physical with you (if he hasn't already).

 

I don't think you miss him. Really. I think you miss the drama, the excitement and the chemistry. You're attracted and involved with a guy for ALL the wrong reasons. Let me guess... you find him very physically attractive and there's lot of "sparks" between the two of you?! That's a big red flag that it's not right!!

 

You need to REALLY assess why you're involved with this type of guy. Sounds like you have an addiction / co-dependency problem with this type of relationship. You should get some counseling so you don't keep repeating this pattern.

 

What can you do to feel better? Get far away from this guy. NO CONTACT!! Go out with some guys if you want to or not. If you think it's unfair, you can tell these guys (IF you think you owe an explanation) tell them you just got out of a relationship and you would like to go out and have fun, but you're not ready to jump into a relationship. MOVE ON and you will be happy that you did!!