She's soooo sensitive...too sensitive

[beave]

I've been with her for about six months now. Said the "I love you's" to each other a couple of months ago but she's been WAY too sensitive since the beginning. Deep inside, I know I should probably walk away but I have to admit, this time it's kind of difficult for me to do that.

 

I've been "super" boyfriend to her and extremely tolerant eventhough she's been less than extremely tolerant of me.

 

The last (maybe relationship breaker) issue we had was a couple of nights ago. As I was leaving her apartment, we had hot, spontaneous sex that evolved from a goodnight kiss. I always use condoms, she selfishly chooses not to use any female birth control. Pills apparently don't agree with her but there are so many other choices for women but she is close minded to ALL, except the condoms I use. Anyway, after sex, she got off of me (she was on top). Both of us were very satisfied. She was very happy. I looked down and my condom WAS GONE! I had ejaculated in her. She checked herself and found that the condom was inside of her and that the opening was outside of her vagina. It looks like it came off as she got off of me so I think everything is cool. My "man juice" was visible inside of the condom so I don't think I actually got any inside of her.

 

THE PROBLEM: As I said, she is very hyper sensitive. After the scare of not seeing the condom on me and after she found it and we "assumed" that all was ok I said "oh man, I was going to ask you to consider seeing a pharmacist tomorrow.............you know, the morning after pill?". That's all it took. She got very quiet, started to sob a little. I asked her repeatedly what was wrong. She said "nothing was wrong". Then she repeatedly asked me to leave, leave, just leave, go home!

 

I tried and tried and tried to find out if what I said caused this reaction from her but she completely shut me out and closed down (she does that). She said that my comment wasn't why she was sooooooo upset but I BET IT WAS THE CAUSE. She wanted nothing to do with me and begged me to leave before the situation got worse so I did.

 

I've only gotten one text message from her since then saying to give her a few day's because she doesn't know what she "feels" right now. !!!!!!!!!!

 

I completely disagree with non-communication. Non-communication kills relationships and she's notorious for shutting me out when she gets in her hyper sensitive moods.

 

If there was an "accident" that night, I would be responsible about what needs to be done by me. If there was no accident and all is fine, I know I should probably leave her alone with all of her issues and hang ups but it's easier said than done when you're in love.

 

Why did what I say about getting the "morning after pill" upset her so much? I'm not ultra sensitive but I'm not a jerk either. I see no good reason for her to have gotten so upset. So upset that she may break up with me or I may choose to not put up with having to walk on egg shells around her and dump her! She frustrates me soooo much and sooooo often!

[loveratud]

I'm not sure. I had to run and get Plan B twice with my girlfriend when condoms broke. After the first time, I was the one worried about it. I spent 2 days afraid to have sex with her or even be close to her. Then I realized how stupid I was being.

 

It's possible that she feels rejected in a way. Like having a baby with her would be such a horrible thing. And I know what you're thinking, it would be a horrible thing, and she knows that too, but deep down your reaction hurt her.

 

I don't know what to say really. She'll likely get over it. I don't feel that it's anything you need to apologize about.

[crazy_grl]

Why did what I say about getting the "morning after pill" upset her so much?

 

This is just my guess, but my first thought about why she would be upset is that she wants to have a baby and it upsets her that you don't. Or she has some kind of major hang-up with birth control and you really offended her by saying that. Or she might have had some traumic experience dealing with taking a morning after pill/ birth control. Could be any of those or something else.

 

You're right that the only way you'll know is if she talks to you about it. I suggest you wait until some time has passed, then sit down and have a discussion with her about why that upset her. Approach it by telling her that you want to know because you don't want to risk upsetting her the same way again.

 

If she still won't talk about it, you'll have to decide whether you can accept that.

 

If her problem *is* that she wants a baby now and you don't, then you've got some potential problems...

[WildKittySub]

I'm not sure as to her reaction about the morning after pill. Maybe she is one who feels that if you make a baby, you are committed?

I can tell you that I won't use any other form of birth control then a condom. For health reasons seriously NONE will work for me. So don't judge so harshly on that count.

 

Condoms aren't all fool proof and we all know that. For me its more a matter of disease, but whichever, what happened was scary.

 

If she's this sensitive over everything, then maybe she needs to grow up a bit.

[beave]

Fantastic responses and opinions. I really am surprised and appreciate the replies.

 

UPDATE: She called me today and left me a voicemail. She said she wanted to "hear my voice" and that I "was probably wondering when she was going to call". She sounded a lot calmer and as if she misses me. I haven't called her back. I want my frustration to subside some more before I talk with her. I'm kinda angry that she pushes me away then expects me to bounce back like a yo-yo whenever she feels more approachable. She's done this to me before. When we talk, I'm going to tell her that she has to stop shutting down on me. She's an educated woman, a teacher with a masters degree and it really surprises me how bad her personal communication skills can be. There is also going to be a lot more to talk about.

[beave]

This is just my guess, but my first thought about why she would be upset is that she wants to have a baby and it upsets her that you don't. Or she has some kind of major hang-up with birth control and you really offended her by saying that. Or she might have had some traumic experience dealing with taking a morning after pill/ birth control. Could be any of those or something else....

 

She has told me that a few years ago (she's 30 now) she got pregnant by her long time boyfriend at the time. Turned out she had a miscarriage and it really devastated her, she was really looking forward to being a mother. She stayed in bed for about a week and subsequently got on anti depressants. According to her, the boyfriend was "happy" she lost the baby. I don't know if that's true or that's just the way she saw things. Maybe he wasn't as devastated as she was and given she's so sensitive, she was bewildered that he wasn't as bad off as she was. She broke up with him.

 

 

 

If her problem *is* that she wants a baby now and you don't, then you've got some potential problems...

 

The possibility that she does want to get pregnant was one of the first things I thought of after our problem from the other night. That's kinda a scary thought to me since we've only been together six months and also mainly because I'm struggling with a career change to become a business owner. The next year or two can become financially very thin, not a great time to become a parent.

[beave]

I spent 2 days afraid to have sex with her or even be close to her. Then I realized how stupid I was being.

 

I don't think you were being stupid because that's exactly how I feel right now. The scare I had is going to stick with me for a while. I can't even predict when will be the next time I'll feel like having sex. I'm just being honest. We have to discuss a few things (like extra birth control for her) before I'll feel comfortable again.

 

It's possible that she feels rejected in a way. Like having a baby with her would be such a horrible thing. And I know what you're thinking, it would be a horrible thing, and she knows that too, but deep down your reaction hurt her.

 

I think she has eluded to that before. We've haven't been together long enough in my opinion to know if we will stay together permanently. With the issues she has (I haven't described them all), I have thought many times of likelihood that we won't last.

 

I don't know what to say really. She'll likely get over it. I don't feel that it's anything you need to apologize about.

 

It seems she has kind of gotten over it since she did leave me a civil voicemail this morning.

 

I was very hurt after she told me to leave so I already did apologize by text message (since she didn't want to talk to me). Now, three day's later, my hurting turned into frustration and a little anger, so I'm not going to be too apologetic when we speak. In this situation, I'm not the only guilty party.

[beave]

I'm not sure as to her reaction about the morning after pill. Maybe she is one who feels that if you make a baby, you are committed?

I can tell you that I won't use any other form of birth control then a condom. For health reasons seriously NONE will work for me. So don't judge so harshly on that count.

 

Condoms aren't all fool proof and we all know that. For me its more a matter of disease, but whichever, what happened was scary.

 

If she's this sensitive over everything, then maybe she needs to grow up a bit.

 

You hit a few points right on the head.

 

I have told her that I am committed to her so I'm not afraid of that. It's just not a good time at all for me to become a parent right now.

 

As far as the birth control, I'm not a woman so I don't know the specific negative reactions a womans body can have to birth control but, there is such a WIDE variety of birth control available so why say no to all of them? Isn't even the "sponge" fairly neutral to a womans body? My G.F. is closed to ALL of them. For an educated woman, it surprises me that she won't do a little research on less or non "hurtful" female birth control.

 

And YES, you're not the only one who has said she need to grow up a bit (she's 30!). I talked to my friends wife about this and she said the same thing. Even I've told her in the past that she can act more like a teen sometimes than and the 30 year old teacher that she is. I'm far from perfect but I don't shut down and not communicate like she does at times or be as hyper sensitive (she's even admitted to that many times), that in my opinion is very immature.

[Sand&Water]

RE:

 

Both of you are at fault, Beave. No one in a relationship is completely innocent -but then again, no one is completely guilty either.

 

The point: Non-communication does kill a relationship in several ways, and to several degrees. However, you should understand that you are dealing with a woman. A woman, with feelings, aspirations, desires, objections, and needs.

 

IF she was a male friend -like a buddy of yours- who you could easily say anything and the grass wouldn't move then that would be OK. But, she is sensitive and I don't think that is a bad thing.

 

I truly think you should be honest with her, when you two talk. Spill it out to her, and let her know how you feel. You should make her feel that she can confide in you.

 

This is a relationship -NOT just a friendship. IF you two don't work it out now, then when? In a year, when issues compile on top of each other -and worse comes to worse -one of you cheats.

 

I just have a hard time believing 'sensitivity' could harm a relationship and run this deep.

 

Think about a few things -and oh, do report back, IF you want.

 

Sand&Water

[beave]

While I agree that both of us are at fault in different respects, I don't agree with letting her "hyper sensitivity" - as she admittedly labels herself, to control our relationship. My description of the problem is an example of the biggest yet. I could go on an on about the lesser skirmishes we've had because of "sensitivity". Yes, I am a man and men tend to be more rational and logical then women in certain instances. I think we can all agree that, in general, a couple made up of a rationally based man who is with an emotionally based woman are bound to have the periodic (major) issues come up.

 

She has asked me many times, "how do you put up with me? even my oldest friends don't know how you're coping with me".

 

I'm painting a bad picture of her but I wouldn't have been with her this entire time and still consider staying with her if she didn't have more positive attributes than negative. She can be very sweet, supportive, endearing, and loving to me as I am with her. But when she gets in a bad way, it gets BAD!

 

 

UPDATE: She sent me a text saying she wants me to come over tonight so we can talk in person. That's what I wanted since our "problem" the other night. I am going to lay everything out on the table. Hopefully she is open minded and receptive to me.

[sunangel]

I agree that you shouldn't put up with her super sensitive tantrums but she's also your partner and therefore you should be there for her. You have to understand her a little better. She wants kids, and if you don't , you need to do her the favor and tell her. If you too are

 

really in love, you can work these issues out. Explain what you want out of the relationship and maybe you two can come to an agreement. Many times issues occur when there is mis-

 

communication. And last but not least..... how can you not want to use condoms when u don't want children? If anything be happy she's responsible and is taking precautions... Good Luck

[beave]

If you too are

really in love, you can work these issues out. Explain what you want out of the relationship and maybe you two can come to an agreement. Many times issues occur when there is mis-

 

communication. And last but not least..... how can you not want to use condoms when u don't want children? If anything be happy she's responsible and is taking precautions... Good Luck

 

No, no, no. Speaking of miss-communication, you miss-understood what I wrote. I WILL NOT HAVE SEX WITHOUT A CONDOM. I would like her to use one of the many different types of female birth control IN ADDITION to my condom use, that's all. But she's closed minded completely to taking any kind of preventive measure herself. I don't think that's fair at all.

 

Also, she hasn't told me she wants a baby out right but I believe that sub-consciously she may want one. Maybe I'm wrong.

 

I'm going over there tonight and we hopefully will hash things out in a positive way.

[taylor]

Maybe it isn't that she wants a baby (she never said she did!).

 

Maybe it's that she needs to know you will not try to make her get rid of (abort) a baby IF she happens to become pregnant accidentally. Would you?

 

Maybe she needs to be assured that if she did become pregnant accidentally, that you would stand by any decision she would want to make regarding the fetus. Would you?

 

She probably feels if you could stand by her, you really do love her and would be willing to commit to her if she accidentally became pregnant. On the other hand, if you are not willing to stand by her, how much do you love her and how committed are you to her? She is probably questioning that right now. She is probably feeling scared and vulnerable. She is probably wondering if having sex with you is too much of a risk. She is looking for security. Can you give it to her?

 

These are things a woman wants and needs to know.

 

Maybe you need to do some soul searching and consider what you would do if she actually did become pregnant. Stay or go. Support or abandon. Welcome the baby or abort it. Those are tough questions especially since you've only been together 6 months.

 

All the more reason to talk about birth control, sex, and what your needs and desires are right now.

[crazy_grl]

Maybe it's that she needs to know you will not try to make her get rid of (abort) a baby IF she happens to become pregnant accidentally. Would you?

 

Maybe she needs to be assured that if she did become pregnant accidentally, that you would stand by any decision she would want to make regarding the fetus. Would you?

 

Taylor, I don't think this is what you were suggesting, but just incase the OP might be thinking it: If you don't want a baby, but your gf does, I wouldn't recommend telling her you'll stick by her side no matter what. The sad reality is that some girls trap guys by purposely getting preggers. Telling them you'll stick by them is pretty much saying, "If you 'accidentally' get pregnant, I'll be a patsy, stick with you and forget about what I wanted."

 

If you want to stay with her but know for sure you don't want a kid with her at present, tell her that if she gets knocked up, it's her choice whether to keep it or not. You'll pay the necessary child support, but you don't know if you'll stay with her, because you're not ready for a baby.

 

Unless of course you'd gladly welcome the baby. Then by all means, say you'll stand by her a support her in any way.

 

She is probably feeling scared and vulnerable. She is probably wondering if having sex with you is too much of a risk. She is looking for security. Can you give it to her?

 

If these are the things she's thinking, it's not his concern. The reason I say that is because she's not taking action to protect herself. Why should he try to alleviate her fears when she does nothing for herself? She could easily take birth control and reduce the chances of this problem. Like he already pointed out, there are many forms of birth control.

 

Maybe you need to do some soul searching and consider what you would do if she actually did become pregnant. Stay or go. Support or abandon. Welcome the baby or abort it. Those are tough questions especially since you've only been together 6 months.

 

I disagree. Right now, I think you should think about:

1- are you ready to have children

2- if not, are you willing to continue a sexual relationship with a woman who won't take the necessary precautions against pregnancy and gets upset when you mention plan B

 

If after you talk with her, it turns out that she wants kids and you don't, I think you should end the relationship.

 

A man who doesn't yet want kids shouldn't start a relationship with a woman who does. If this were an LTR where after 2 years she decided she was ready for kids, my advice would be different. But this is a 6 month relationship. It's just starting.

 

Don't get me wrong. There's nothing wrong with a woman entering a relationship wanting kids. If the guy doesn't though, it means they're not compatible, because they're in different places. Both should move on to find someone who wants the same thing they do.

 

All the more reason to talk about birth control, sex, and what your needs and desires are right now.

 

I agree with that.

[beave]

Maybe it isn't that she wants a baby (she never said she did!).

 

Maybe it's that she needs to know you will not try to make her get rid of (abort) a baby IF she happens to become pregnant accidentally. Would you?

 

Maybe she needs to be assured that if she did become pregnant accidentally, that you would stand by any decision she would want to make regarding the fetus. Would you?

 

She probably feels if you could stand by her, you really do love her and would be willing to commit to her if she accidentally became pregnant. On the other hand, if you are not willing to stand by her, how much do you love her and how committed are you to her? She is probably questioning that right now. She is probably feeling scared and vulnerable. She is probably wondering if having sex with you is too much of a risk. She is looking for security. Can you give it to her?

 

These are things a woman wants and needs to know.

 

Maybe you need to do some soul searching and consider what you would do if she actually did become pregnant. Stay or go. Support or abandon. Welcome the baby or abort it. Those are tough questions especially since you've only been together 6 months.

 

All the more reason to talk about birth control, sex, and what your needs and desires are right now.

 

I texted her the day after (because she didn't want to talk to me) and in that text, one of the things I said was that I would be supportive of whatever OUR situation were to become...meaning pregnancy.

 

BUT, in this day and age and being the rational minded person I am, I don't see how a woman can become accidently pregnant. Obviously, that night in question, there was a chance of accidental pregnancy but only because I was the only one using birth control (a condom). There are just too many female contraceptive medications or devices for a accidental pregnancy to happen. I'm sorry but I just don't think that two intelligent people such as her and I should risk accidental pregnancy by not going that extra step in birth control.

 

I had even told her a while back that I was considering not "finishing" inside of her eventhough I always use a condom. SHE GOT OFFENDED! Sheesh! She said, "why don't you just wrap your whole body in a condom if you're that afraid of getting me pregnant, or maybe we just shouldn't have sex anymore". I just don't understand that attitude. I responded by saying that it still is risky to "finish" inside of her and what happened a little later, just what I said happened in my first post, I got the crap scared out of me when I looked down and my condom was missing. (Read my first post please for all the details).

 

BTW - I DO NOT RECOMMEND DUREX WARMING PLEASURE STUDDED/RIBBED CONDOMS SPECIFICALLY. THEY ARE NEW AND NOTED THAT IT PROBABLY CAME OFF BECAUSE THEY HARDLY HAVE ANY LUBE WHICH MAKES IT EASIER FOR IT TO SLIP OFF AN ERECT PENIS, WHICH IS WHAT HAPPENED TO ME.

 

I SHOULD SUE DUREX FOR MENTAL STRESS AND DURESS!!!!

[beave]

crazy_grl,

 

If only my GF made as much sense as you. As mean as that might sound to some of you, god, crazy_grl you are right on!

 

I did text her that I would be supportive of whatever our situation were to become so she wouldn't feel like I'm such a jerk. I don't think was or am a jerk but I'm sure she probably did. I do not want kids right now, maybe later but if I got her pregnant by accident I would at the very least do what is required of me. Wether our relationship would continue, that's another story because I would probably get tired sooner or later of her hang ups and attitude if there wasn't some compromise or change in her. Then I would have to go but I would still continue my responsibility to a child.

[LakesideDream]

Psyco Babe. Sorry.... sounds like to much drama to me. This lady sounds like she's a stockholder in Samsonite, and wants YOU to carry all her baggage.

 

A snoozer to me.

[crazy_grl]

If only my GF made as much sense as you. As mean as that might sound to some of you, god, crazy_grl you are right on!

 

Thanks.

 

I did text her that I would be supportive of whatever our situation were to become so she wouldn't feel like I'm such a jerk. I don't think was or am a jerk but I'm sure she probably did. I do not want kids right now, maybe later but if I got her pregnant by accident I would at the very least do what is required of me. Wether our relationship would continue, that's another story because I would probably get tired sooner or later of her hang ups and attitude if there wasn't some compromise or change in her. Then I would have to go but I would still continue my responsibility to a child.

 

You don't sound like a jerk to me. I know some women and possibly men might disagree, but better to have a few people think you're a jerk than be stuck in a relationship with some woman you don't want just because you've got a kid with her. As long as you do what you're legally obligated to do, then nothing anybody else says matters.

 

I don't want kids myself, so I can sympathize with guys. I'm fortunate to be a woman. I can only imagine how awful it would be if my decision to have kids was essentially left up to someone else. Women have a lot of choices for birth control. Men only have condoms, the most unreliable type there is.

 

A lot of men want to be honorable, take responsibility for their actions, and do the right thing. That would all work out wonderfully if there weren't women out there who use men to get the baby they want or worse yet, use pregnancy to trap a man or get at his wallet.

 

As a man, it seems like the only sure fire thing you can do is end the relationship with a woman who wants a baby when you don't. If you stay, you're taking a big risk (at least a few $100 thousand worth).

 

The good news is that they're developing male birth control pills. I suspect many men will celebrate their release.

 

Edit: I just reread and noticed what a perverted pun I accidentally wrote.

 

I had even told her a while back that I was considering not "finishing" inside of her eventhough I always use a condom. SHE GOT OFFENDED! Sheesh! She said, "why don't you just wrap your whole body in a condom if you're that afraid of getting me pregnant, or maybe we just shouldn't have sex anymore". I just don't understand that attitude.

 

I don't know, man. This all sounds really suspicious. Be careful. Also, buy condoms with spermicide.

 

Anyway, I hope the convo goes ok, and the thing bothering her ISN'T that she wants to have kids. Right now it's not looking too good, but you never know.

[norajane]

I don't know why you two are texting each other about such a situation! You're telling her in a text that you would stand by her if she were to get pregnant? Come on, if you can text, you can call. If you can't talk - end this relationship. This is just the tip of the iceberg...are you going to break up over text, too?

 

TALK TO EACH OTHER so you can be sure you both understand, in DETAIL, exactly what you mean and what you will and won't do, and what you want.

 

If I were you, I'd stop having sex with her unless she agrees to additional birth control. She's going to have that baby if she gets pregnant, and you aren't ready or even sure if you're going to stay together.

[Star Gazer]

I have this very weird gut feeling that she can't have children and she knows it (the miscarriage...perhaps she knows more than you do), and that your comment about the morning after pill just reminded her of that.

 

Possible?

[crazy_grl]

I don't know why you two are texting each other about such a situation! You're telling her in a text that you would stand by her if she were to get pregnant? Come on, if you can text, you can call. If you can't talk - end this relationship. This is just the tip of the iceberg...are you going to break up over text, too?

 

I agree, but one main problem seems to be that she won't talk...

 

I have this very weird gut feeling that she can't have children and she knows it (the miscarriage...perhaps she knows more than you do), and that your comment about the morning after pill just reminded her of that.

 

Possible?

 

Good theory. Seems totally possible to me.

[beave]

UPDATE: We talked! Yes, I texted her because she shut down communication. Anyway...

 

She was ANGRY. She told me that she did equate me with the ex BF that seemed "happy" that she had a miss-carriage. Despite my explanation of why I brought up the plan-b pill, (not an appropriate time to get preg. right now, plan-b is something comparable to birth control, IT'S NOT ABORTING AN EMBRYO) she still was EXTREMELY offended by me bringing it up that night. She said she felt humiliated! GOD! She said that if she were to get pregnant, she would be able to take on matters on her own.

 

I just didn't sit there, I told her about everything that was bothering me but she overshadowed all that with the resentment she was feeling towards me.

 

We did talk about additional birth control but nothing specific was decided. She was angry at the thought of anything chemically related. I brought up the sponge or something similar, she barely acknowledged them as possibilities saying that nothing is 100%.

 

It's sinking in that I know what I should do, leave. I don't think she will wind up preg. She's probably just going to continue to be one sided and that's not good for me obviously. If we were to stay together, we probably wouldn't have sex for a long, long time and when it did happen, i'd probably have all this drama on my mind. All I ever wanted was a cool chick! Damn it!

[princessa]

To me it kinda sounds as if deep down inside she'd like to get pregnant.. Which is pretty underhanded considering how the two of you haven't agreed on anything like that.

[taylor]

If you just want a cool chick to have sex with, why don't you just go to the bar and pick one up? I'm sure she will come with a whole pack of birth control pills and a condom for you, too.

 

If you want a relationship with a girl you really care for, it can be more complicated because there are feelings, needs and desires involved that go way beyond sex.

 

I don't know if your gf wants a baby at this time and I don't know if she is trying to trap you into having one. But then I don't know her. You do. If you have any suspicions whatsoever that she is trying to get pregnant or trying to trap you by getting pregnant accidentally, then you need to run. She is using you. Besides, how can you enjoy sex with someone you can't trust?

 

It was obvious from reading your first post that you are terrified of getting your girlfriend pregnant, hence your insistence on multiple forms of birth control. You should be terrified and you should insist on every safeguard against pregnancy because every time you have sex you are choosing to take a risk that you might father a child. If the level of safeguards is inadequate compared to the risk, don't choose to have sex.

 

Your gf obviously is not as concerned about becoming pregnant as you are. She is willing to take a greater risk than you are. She shouldn't. She is in a brand new relationship with a man she hardly knows (6 months!) and who does not seem to be very emotionally attached to her. She has so much to lose should she become pregnant. It would be in her best interest not to have sex with you at all until you both were more sure of your feelings for each other. Perhaps a chastity belt??!!

 

I don't know why she is unwilling to use any form of chemical birth control. Ask her! Perhaps it's because she isn't as terrified as you are about the possibility of becoming pregnant. Perhaps she is fearful of the side effects of birth control. Perhaps she has religious or moral reasons why she wouldn't use birth control or abort a baby. Perhaps she isn't "over" losing her baby (there is a grieving process that takes place that involves a host of complicated emotions) and can't fathom the thought of "losing" another one should she become pregnant.

 

Or perhaps, as you suggest, your girlfriend is just a selfish, psychotic idiot too stupid to take precautions to protect herself.

 

Either way, she is leaving alot to chance. But you can't "force" her to put a chemical in her body that she doesn't want and you can't "force" her to abort a fetus from her body. If she is unwilling to take precautions or deal with consequences and you still want sex without the risk of pregnancy, you better look elsewhere.

 

I think what's at the heart of this matter is that you don't seem as if you really respect or care about this girl. You don't seem to have a true emotional attachment to her. She is probably questioning the depth of your feelings for her. Some girls are comfortable having sex with a man who isn't emotionally attached to the. Others girls aren't. Those girls can feel used or vulnerable and get angry if you make them feel that way.

 

You are a rational, logical person. But the reason you are so frustrated is because feelings and emotions are not logical and you can't rationalize them. You can only try to understand them, accept them, reject them, and act accordingly.

 

If you are emotionally attached to this girl and want to stay with her, you need to compromise. You are terrified of making a baby right now and your girlfriend is not willing (for whatever reason) to use birth control, so why don't you practice the rhythm method. Or, better yet, abstain from having sex with her until you are ready to bear the responsibility of having a child. That is the only form of birth control that is 100 percent effective. Those are logical, rational solutions to your dilemma.

 

If you are not emotionally attached to this girl, then I see two options. Tell her you don't see a future for the two of you but you still want to have sex with her. See what she does then.

 

Your second option is to just walk away. You and she are at a major impasse. You have every right to choose when you want to have children and you have every right to take every precaution to guard against it. If you do not feel comfortable with the level of precaution being taken in this relationship, then you need to get out of the relationship before an accident does happen.

 

You said you don't understand how accidental pregnancies happen in this day and age with all the forms of birth control available. They happen every day. Go talk to someone at planned parenthood. Better yet, research abortion statistics. Had that condom broke deeper inside your girlfriend, you could have been one of those statistics right now. That's how they happen.

 

From reading your posts, it's obvious you and your gf have communication problems. Red Flag. I also get the feeling there is not trust or respect in your relationship. Two other huge red flags. Without trust or respect, there is no relationship. It appears this relationship is doomed, regardless of the birth control/baby issue.

 

I think you should head to the bar and find what you are looking for...

[lovelorcet]

This chick seems to have issues that she needs to work out and she should do that without you.

 

If I were you I would not have sex with this girl anymore, you are going to end up having a baby with this nutcase...