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Completely Lost


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A long story short my girlfriend of 3 years has told me that she doesn't know what she wants anymore. She told me not to pressure her or I will push her away. I don't even know what we are but it seems like were broken up. I want to talk 2 her but I'm afraid I will push her away like she says. We semi share an apartment together and have a dog together so NC can be hard.

 

Its only been a couple of days but I feel lost and confused. She called yesterday to see how Im doing but hasn't since. not even to check up on our dog. I don't have any friends so I don't know what to do with my time. I feel okay sometimes then feel some anxiety and don't want to function. I'm lost any advice or support would be appreciated. I don't even know what to do about the apartment.

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notmakingsense

Man, that really sucks. You must be really hurting right now and I totally understand because I have been there before.

 

Your biggest and only goal right now is to find some way to function and behave like a person that can handle his own life without her. Do whatever it takes to become busy, or at least fake it if you still can't function. Remember that you are the one that got dumped (sort-of). You should be pissed, and if anyone has to work a little at salvaging things it is her.

 

I know you feel otherwise, but never, ever give her the power or belief that you can't handle it and move on. This is crucial to your preserving dignity and re-building your self esteem and confidence.

 

Get busy, be hard to reach, don't return calls right away. Do whatever you can to get out of the house. If you don't have friends, then try to reconnect with your family. By the way, not having friends is something you really need to work on, because it probably means that you "need" her too much. Look at this as a major life-changing opportunity for you to get your act together when it comes to your social/personal life. Besides, having a few guy buddies and a passion outside of work & women is key to having a balanced life.

 

Give it a little time, but if things don't start turning around with her, get her to move out, or you move out -- whatever. The dog should go to whomever cares for it the most.

 

A few things you can do RIGHT NOW to feel better: Go for a walk or run. Go to the gym. Have dinner at a sports bar with a TV on. Go see a FUNNY movie. Basically, do ANYTHING to get out of the house and force yourself to interact with real people.

 

It is very fresh still, but you will get through it. I promise

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notmakingsense

Yeah -- I was thinking that but didn't want to say it. Unless things have been deteriorating for a few months, its almost certain she's interested in someone.

 

Thinking of that will feel like 100 knives being stuck in to you -- but don't focus on it. Just use the anger you should have for her dropping this bomb on you to fuel your desire to cut her off and prove to her that you were the catch all along by being happy and involved with an even hotter chick! :p

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