mrbeantown Posted November 17, 2006 Share Posted November 17, 2006 Hey all I was my ex gfs first. (kiss, boyfriend, sex, first person she fell in love with....etc) She was 19 and I was 23. She broke up with me a few months ago (after 51/2 years) and we havent spoken since , except for a few emails. My point is I feel like she is REALLY enjoying being single! shes going out every weekend, talking to random guys on myspace and possibly hooking up with another guy. Acting totally uncharacteristic. I understand why she is enjoying her free time but I am afraid of what she might become. Is it normal for a women to do this? Will she forget all about me? I know you "change" when you leave a relationship but I think she is acting selfish, am I wrong to think that? thanks again. ps I am trying to move on myself, I am just concerned for her well being... Link to post Share on other sites
Kamille Posted November 17, 2006 Share Posted November 17, 2006 Don't be concerned for her well-being. She'll be fine. Like you said: she's enjoying being single. She may have a lot to learn, but she has to live it. You just go out and enjoy being single. Link to post Share on other sites
Spinderella Posted November 17, 2006 Share Posted November 17, 2006 Understand that it is really hard for you to see her moving on with her life, but, really what she does now, is not your business, harsh as it may sound. I don't understand the being selfish bit, selfish being detrimental to whom? I think you probably need to be focussing on yourself and what you need to do to move on with your life aswell, and really, stop checking her my space, you are only torturing yourself. Good luck. Link to post Share on other sites
Speedo Posted November 17, 2006 Share Posted November 17, 2006 Honestly, I envy you and your situation. From what you've said, you tried everything possible to make it work. You were honest, sincere, and all the rest. Sure, you got fed up at the end. You're human after all. There's only so much you can take when someone is playing with one of the strongest emotions you can have. But the thing is, you tried, and she didn't accept it. Now, she's getting married. To me, that would be much easier to get over than alot of the situations on here, like mine. Where you still think there's a chance, wondering what you could have done, or should not have done. To me, you're in the best possition possible. Anyone who jumps into a marriage that fast is guaranteed to have serious problems. My bet is that it will end up bad. Meanwhile, you have no choice but to move on. See if you can focus your thoughts on the new girl. Take what you've learned, and apply it to her. She seems like she genuinely likes you for you. After what you've been through, to me that would be a breath of fresh air. Link to post Share on other sites
Author mrbeantown Posted November 17, 2006 Author Share Posted November 17, 2006 What I meant by selfish was; was it her intention to break up with me so she could be single and "free". I know nobody knows this but her but she REALLY hurt me and I still love her. Im tempted to delete her from my myspace friends list but that is the only way we've communicated. ( I did take her of my top list though) Link to post Share on other sites
Spinderella Posted November 17, 2006 Share Posted November 17, 2006 What I meant by selfish was; was it her intention to break up with me so she could be single and "free". I know nobody knows this but her but she REALLY hurt me and I still love her. Im tempted to delete her from my myspace friends list but that is the only way we've communicated. ( I did take her of my top list though) You do not say what reasons she gave you for breaking up with you, BUT, of course breaking up with somebody is (nearly) always for selfish reasons. Whether her reasons were that she didnt feel the relationship was working anymore, or she didnt feel in love anymore, or even that you were not treating her well, they are selfish (not in a bad way), so I find the question a difficult one to understand. Perhaps what you are trying to say is that she maybe seemed to get over things more quickly than her words to you at the time of the break up would indicate? So really instead of being confused or wrestling as she appeared to be, she just wanted to go out and have fun? The thing, when couples split, is that there is always lost trust, and this is why NC is so essential. You really need to stop looking at what she is up to, and analysing her. You wont get the answers you seek, because nobody but she can ever really know her reasons, and since the end of relationships mean loss of trust, even if you went to her for answers, you probably would not trust them. Please try and focus on yourself and healing from this. Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted November 17, 2006 Share Posted November 17, 2006 Hey all I was my ex gfs first. (kiss, boyfriend, sex, first person she fell in love with....etc) She was 19 and I was 23. She broke up with me a few months ago (after 51/2 years) and we havent spoken since , except for a few emails. My point is I feel like she is REALLY enjoying being single! shes going out every weekend, talking to random guys on myspace and possibly hooking up with another guy. Acting totally uncharacteristic. I understand why she is enjoying her free time but I am afraid of what she might become. Is it normal for a women to do this? Will she forget all about me? I know you "change" when you leave a relationship but I think she is acting selfish, am I wrong to think that? thanks again. ps I am trying to move on myself, I am just concerned for her well being... Get out and move on buddy. She's being HERSELF and satisfying her needs before she comes back to you, and yes as harsh as it may sound she is probably sleeping around. Once she has her fun and the partying gets old.... she will realize she's alone and she will come crawling back. You mark my word. She will tell you everything you want to hear and you will get lied too. Alot of selfish girls are like that. Honestly i've had it happened to me. Get out and never come back, and as much as you want to go back.... Never do it man. She's taking advantage of you and stringing you along. You need to find someone who isn't selfish or your gonna have one unhappy marriage. Trust me... throw out every memory of her. Selfish....... Link to post Share on other sites
Spinderella Posted November 17, 2006 Share Posted November 17, 2006 I really dont see where in any of the posts there is any indication that she is stringing him along. They rarely even speak to each other. Link to post Share on other sites
Author mrbeantown Posted November 17, 2006 Author Share Posted November 17, 2006 She broke up with me because she said she wasnt in love with me anymore. Even though when we went on an initional break she said she loved me and was doing this BECAUSE she loved me. than eventually she broke it off because her feelings had changed. I dont think she is trying to string me along I think she is just wanting to live her life the way she couldnt before! She did send me a myspace message saying "she thought of me the other day and she misses having me as a friend. After we have had time to heal maybe we can talk again. Until than theres always myspace." I didnt respond for a week and I kept my response short. Im forcing myself to do NC now and hope she smartens up, and maybe someday she will contact me as a friend like I once was before. Link to post Share on other sites
Spinderella Posted November 17, 2006 Share Posted November 17, 2006 I am glad to hear it. ALOT of LS members are also doing NC so I am sure that if you are finding it difficult, posting here would help you. Link to post Share on other sites
theadventure50120 Posted November 17, 2006 Share Posted November 17, 2006 She broke up with me because she said she wasnt in love with me anymore. Even though when we went on an initional break she said she loved me and was doing this BECAUSE she loved me. than eventually she broke it off because her feelings had changed. I dont think she is trying to string me along I think she is just wanting to live her life the way she couldnt before! She did send me a myspace message saying "she thought of me the other day and she misses having me as a friend. After we have had time to heal maybe we can talk again. Until than theres always myspace." I didnt respond for a week and I kept my response short. Im forcing myself to do NC now and hope she smartens up, and maybe someday she will contact me as a friend like I once was before. Hehe sounds like mine a little. When you delete them they can still contact you on myspace. Mine took offence , hated me for it. But cooled off now. She also wanted to be single and have fun...i let her do it...2months later she says she is on medication for depression...awww what a shame lol. Just let her be , she might get bored. Link to post Share on other sites
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