Why is he angry?

[Guest]

My Ex bf dumped me last month. We told each other that we loved each other and wanted to spend the rest of our lives together. We didn't fight, we got along great. We had amazing chemistry and loved to talk about anything. We had a lot in common, ect... then his ex gf asked him to come back to her. They dated off and on for a year and a half.

 

So, he chickened out on me and ran back to her. I was devestated and can not understand how he would give up what we had. He claims that she is the love of his life. BUT.... I know this isn't true. I know that he told other people how he felt about her when they last dated, and he told me the same thing. He said she was "comfortable" and he could marry her, "why not".

 

With me, he said he loved me like no other, but that he was afraid that love was just blind.... What the heck? Anyhow, I was having a hard time and thought that I should remind him how I felt and that I wanted him to come back. In the beginning, I texted him and emailed him a lot. Then a couple weeks later, he got mad at me.. I asked him if he was mad at me because we were going to try to be friends. He said, "Yes, I asked you to leave me alone. Please leave me alone". I was reallyl shocked because he never asked me to leave him alone.

 

So, I went to his house, after not seeing him for two weeks. I talked to him. He admitted that he loved me still, but he made his choice. He claimed it wasn't easy since he loved everything about me, but he had a "history" with her. So, we talked, I kissed him on the cheek and I told him I would wait, then left. He nodded with his eyes swollen and full of tears. I thought that was a good sign. So, two weeks after that, I find out they are gonna get married next month.

 

I was like, wow, he really should not do that. I sent him an annonomous text message saying , "You don't marry the one you can live with, you marry the one you can't live without". I think it's a big mistake to marry her just so he won't be alone. So, he texted me back saying I was a harrassing, psychotic stalker! Wow, I was shocked again. I mean, I have left him alone like he asked for two weeks.

 

I didn't think sending a text message constitutes a stalker. So, I know he is reallyl angry at me. I just don't know why? Is it because he knows it's true and he doesn't want to be reminded, or does he really all of a sudden hate me and want me completely out of his life, when we had said we would be friends down the line.

[miss snoopy]

Hmm.. I'm no expert but sounds like he feels very guilty and he's projecting that onto you as anger. No-one likes to feel guilty and he probably hates the situation he's in i.e. hurting someone he cares/cared deeply about, so he tries to justify his walking away in his mind as you being a psychotic stalker and stuff like that. And the more contact you have with him the worse the guilt is, and next thing he's calling the police for a restraining order because you rang him 3ce in 2 weeks! He's marrying someone else, being unkind to you... no contact I'm afraid is what everyone's going to tell you and they're absolutely right. There isn't any other way out of this. And with time he'll realise what a prat he was to you, but this will only happen following strict NC on your part.

 

(((hugs)))