jimmy20013 Posted October 13, 2006 Share Posted October 13, 2006 Hi, my GF of 18 months broke up with me almost 5 months ago and I still hurt for her. I have been in NC for almost 3 months but I can't get her out of my head no matter what. I keep myself busy all the time but her memories still linger. I read her myspace blog today and it appears that she is doing just fine and enjoying life. Why can't I do that? How can someone hurt someone so bad and be ignorant about it? How do I stop loving her? I want to be my cheery self again!!! What should I do? I feel like I will never be able to love again. God I hurt so bad!!! Link to post Share on other sites
bluechocolate Posted October 13, 2006 Share Posted October 13, 2006 Stopping yourself from reading her myspace blog might be a good start. Link to post Share on other sites
Author jimmy20013 Posted October 13, 2006 Author Share Posted October 13, 2006 Stopping yourself from reading her myspace blog might be a good start. I did that out of weakness today. This is the first time I did this since I started NC. Link to post Share on other sites
Confuggled_one Posted October 13, 2006 Share Posted October 13, 2006 hey jim jim i was in your same situation. best thing you gotta do is stop thinkin bout her. block her out from your brain. it might take a lot of practice and patience. but you just gotta do what you gota do. stop thinkin bout whether or not she is doin fine without you.. whether she'll come back.. cause that isnt gonna help you if you keep thinkin bout it. think about somethings YOU need to improve yourself as a person. and ya maybe you shoudl stop cehckin her myspace even if it was outta weakness. talk to your friends. vent **** out.. occupy yourself with a hobby.. go out and meet people. just keep your distance from her. you're going to be fine. it just takes a lil time to get use to.. feelings never go away... im sure she thinks about you too. so dont worry. you ever ned more help, just post here. you got peeps here for ya Link to post Share on other sites
bella_girl Posted October 13, 2006 Share Posted October 13, 2006 On the flip Jimmy.... (my BF and i broke up about 5 months ago, been NC for about 3) My blog/my space/emails etc... are all happy, smily bouncy and all about how wonderful life is. In reality I still miss him heaps and think about him every day. So don't accept that everything is fine for her on face value. Break ups suck from each side. I agree with confuggled_one - talk to friends, vent, etc. A few key friends know what I'm feeling the rest of the world may not. Some of it about projection if I project a happy self confident image it helps me to feel that way also. Don't check her blog and just concentrate on you and what you want. Link to post Share on other sites
db75 Posted October 13, 2006 Share Posted October 13, 2006 Hi, my GF of 18 months broke up with me almost 5 months ago and I still hurt for her. I have been in NC for almost 3 months but I can't get her out of my head no matter what. I keep myself busy all the time but her memories still linger. I read her myspace blog today and it appears that she is doing just fine and enjoying life. Why can't I do that? How can someone hurt someone so bad and be ignorant about it? How do I stop loving her? I want to be my cheery self again!!! What should I do? I feel like I will never be able to love again. God I hurt so bad!!! First and foremost there's no timetable on when you'll feel better. You're putting undo pressure on yourself for not being over her after five months. Putting that pressure on yourself can sometimes slow the healing process. Don't feel bad for still feeling bad. It's natural and normal. Everyone is different and heals at a different rate. Time will take care of that pain. Stay away from the myspace page, we all have our moments of weakness but it won't do you any good. What she's doing now is and must be irrelevant to you. What she does in her life has no bearing on yours now. The only thing that is relevant now is quite simply...you. Stay focused on your life, stay focused on what you want in your future. Basically just keep your head down and keep swinging. One day you'll look up and you'll find you've come out of the darkness. Link to post Share on other sites
bluechocolate Posted October 13, 2006 Share Posted October 13, 2006 You're putting undo pressure on yourself for not being over her after five months. Putting that pressure on yourself can sometimes slow the healing process. Don't feel bad for still feeling bad. It's natural and normal. Everyone is different and heals at a different rate. Time will take care of that pain. I was going to say something similar. What you need is the encouragement to know that what you're feeling is normal. There is no magic bullet & yes, as clichéd as it is, time will take care of that pain. Link to post Share on other sites
Author jimmy20013 Posted October 14, 2006 Author Share Posted October 14, 2006 Thanks for the encouragement folks. I am so down in my life right now. I used to be a very cheery and happy person. I never thought the day would come when I would be this way. I will try to concentrate on myself. I know I have to let go of the feelings and the emotions but it seems impossible right now. I will fight though. I am gonna fight this battle and win. Link to post Share on other sites
Author jimmy20013 Posted October 15, 2006 Author Share Posted October 15, 2006 God!! I am fighting a losing battle. The more I fight it, the more intense the feelings become. I can't handle the rejection and pain. How can someone who claimed to love me so much do this? I took all the abuse she put me through and this is how I get rewarded? In fact I get the blame for everything and me being the jackass that I am, I actually believed it. I was a pushover and she took advantage of that. I am so lonely without her. I wish I could curl up in a ball and cry or hide somewhere. Please make the hurting to stop!!!! Please somebody do something!!!! I want to be happy again. I wanna be me again. Link to post Share on other sites
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