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Dating during college, not sure what I want?


Didyouknow96

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Hi,

So I'm a college junior and I'm looking for some advice. I'm a reasonably attractive girl, and guys do show interest in me, so I don't think it would be difficult for me to get a boyfriend. However, I just don't know what I want. I dated last year and I really became isolated from my friends and just spent all my time with him. I really regret this, he ended up being a douche anyways.

During the week, I am very busy and typically exhausted. I have classes 9-2 and then volunteer in a research lab rom 2-5 and then I typically babysit from like 5-7/8. I come home make dinner, do homework till like 12/1 in the morning, rinse and repeat.

I feel like for Friday, Saturday, and Sunday, I would like to spend at least one of those days with a partner. Cuddling, watching movies, maybe getting dinner, idk. But I still want to be able to go to the bar and club with my friends. Many of my friends will move away after college and I don't want to miss out on this last year or so of fun.

I sort of have a guy that I go see when it's convenient, but honestly it's very unhealthy because I do sort of have feelings for him, and he's very flippant. I know I need to stop doing this but after having a boyfriend I just sort of crave intimacy.

What is your advice? Thanks

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You really don't have to have your whole life mapped out before you graduate. Do what's fun & easy when it comes to romance. If it's making you stressed or isolating you from your friends, do something else.

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Why don’t you find a boyfriend who gives you some space too? Maybe s healthy relationship where you Jorj have some alone time also... I mean you don’t have to be joined at the hip

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Why such a focus on having a boyfriend? You are young and have a long life ahead of you. I would enjoy my senior of college and focus on starting my career. If you meet a great guy, awesome. But, I wouldn't spend so much time focusing on it.

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This is good news...I feel like I'm unaware of the rules of dating

 

There aren't really many rules. Be polite. Be true to yourself. Enjoy.

 

It really is that simple. People make it complicated when they start second guessing themselves & thinking that there are messages encoded in the amount of time it takes somebody to respond.

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It's all up to you.

 

What I gather from your post is that you want all the benefits of a single life, along with all the benefits of being in a relationship...while not compromising studies and part time job.

 

News Flash ----->>> NOT GOING TO HAPPEN.

 

You will need to compromise and adjust. It is very much possible to find a BF who will give you enough space to spend time with friends but it will not be same as being single. You will have to spend time with him too.... Your best bet at this point is to have a FWB, which I am guessing you do have, but you want him to act more like a BF, which isn't gonna happen. If you need a BF, you will have to put in real work towards it and compromise other areas a bit. Else you have to put up with casual meaningless stuff.

 

Also, as someone mentioned above, keep focus on career at this point not on guys.

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