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Should I Tell A Girl I'm A Virgin?


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Old 6th February 2018, 5:45 AM   #16
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Being a virgin doesn't have to mean you are clueless or you'll suck. If you learn the general idea of how to please a woman it will get you headed in the right direction. Of course no two women are exactly alike, however they all have the same buttons, learn those button then it's just a matter of which ones to push at what time and how long. One proven way to somewhat insure you aren't bad is understand sex for women starts long before you ever touch her
Also, this ^^. The first time I slept with my boyfriend, he was blown away and told me that was the best sex he had ever had--and he had been with a dozen women before me. So, don't assume that because it's your first time you'll be completely awful.

It does start for women before the sex ever happens. If you're caring, attentive, considerate of her needs, respectful, etc. I'm sure she will be much more eager to accommodate your lack of experience than if you weren't. Additionally, every time with a new partner is a learning curve for both parties--you don't know each other's bodies yet, your likes and dislikes. And just because someone is experienced also doesn't mean that they're necessarily good in bed, so don't assume you're automatically worse than any other guy.
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Old 6th February 2018, 8:00 AM   #17
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IMO, when you start dating, get to know them. I sure wouldn't say, first thing on the first date, "Hey, I'm a vrigin!" Let the relationship grow organically and, if/when it comes to sex, you can tell her then. She might be charmed! It might be a turn on for her!
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Old 6th February 2018, 8:54 AM   #18
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If you try and bluff your way through your clumsiness will come across as selfishness and insensitivity. Good way for her to next you.

Trust me. Been there. Done that.
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Old 6th February 2018, 11:12 AM   #19
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Do not announce your status. That's just creepy.

Again, most women will be able to figure out that you are not Mr. Suave. There is no need to attach awkward words to it Talking about it will make everything worse.

Be yourself. Use your sense of humor to your advantage. Do ask your sister for introductions. Also ask your buddies' GFs to fix you up.

It's like your job hunt . . . it will take a while. Be patient but it will happen. Meanwhile put your best foot forward.
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Old 6th February 2018, 12:02 PM   #20
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I’m not that experienced myself, so an inexperienced guy wouldn’t bother me. In in fact if I thought he was attractive and he was inhibited/didn’t have some hang ups , it would probably even make him more attractive to me. Sex is kind of an instinct and not incredibly hard to pick up, I don’t think. It’s more like rhythm or dancing than playing an instrument.

I’d prefer he just go with the flow and not make a big deal about it

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Old 6th February 2018, 12:24 PM   #21
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Sex is kind of an instinct and not incredibly hard to pick up, I donít think. Itís more like rhythm or dancing than playing an instrument.
Haha not in my experience. The first few times I had to be guided by my gf. Kept poking in the wrong places
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Old 6th February 2018, 1:10 PM   #22
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I had it good when it came to learning sex. My gf and I were both virgins when we lost our virginity. Neither of us knew what we were doing when it came to intercourse. Had intercourse total of 3 times before we broke up. The next woman I was with was 29 and divorced and I was 20 and still a student. While I wasn't a virgin, I was still very inexperienced compared to her. She didn't mind. I think she relished the opportunity to "raise me right." And that she did! Had intercourse more times on the first night with her than I did during the entire previous relationship. We were together for 8 years and married for the last 5. Wonderful woman. I think the age difference and my skipping the whole sowing my wild oats thing in my 20s did us in.
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Old 6th February 2018, 2:43 PM   #23
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I'm just shy of 30, and I've never even been on a proper date with a girl, let alone done anything remotely physically affectionate. I honestly don't believe I ever will, either, but I do think about it a lot, and this is a subject I sometimes ponder about.

Like, obviously you wouldn't just blurt it out randomly with no context on a first date. But I imagine once you've been on a few dates, certain conversations and discussion points start coming up, and... I dunno, I mean, I wouldn't want to lie, but I also feel like the truth would make things horribly awkward. Like, most guys aren't really completely dateless/ "affectionless" at 30+.

The thing is, too, if I started dating someone, I think I'd be way too nervous/ skittish about initiating any kind of physical affection or intimacy. Like, I don't know that I'd be able to initiate a first kiss. I'm pretty sure I would not try to initiate sex in any way. So... I don't know how much of a problem that would be, either.

I dunno. I guess it doesn't matter much, because these are all just rhetorical scenarios that I'll never actually be in, so...
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Old 6th February 2018, 3:26 PM   #24
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OP, perhaps of little consolation but I did date, have sexual relationships with and also married women who self-professed to being quite sexually experienced (numbers of lovers/husbands, etc) and I found no correlation between levels of 'experience' and prowess, or even sensitivity or intuition. More can mean 'better' but the two aren't necessarily correlated. Why? Humans are individuals and process experience and learn differently.

From the other end of life my tip to you is the less you dwell on this the less it will matter and, more importantly, take up less of your valuable time and energy when you can otherwise be out enjoying life. Up to you. The choices are yours.
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Old 7th February 2018, 3:53 AM   #25
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No need (for guys) to admit anything. With the right lady, you'll do your part and things will happen "naturally".
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Old 8th February 2018, 7:29 AM   #26
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Oh shyt sorry l thought you were older and had experience but well , this will explain a lot of your posts then. And l don't mean that in a bad way either, ok.

But l dunno man , the women where you live must be some shallow crap if you couldn't tell her that.
honestly.
l wouldn't even wanna know a women l couldn't talk about that stuff too and if she knew anything at all she'd know anyway that she only has lotssss of fun to look forward too if anything.
And she'd also know that more doesn't necessarily mean better , matter of fact l've found more revolting from any women , mechanical , insensitive , and hopeless to boot, just all round yuk.

But there's no need to even bother mentioning it to just any old dead end date because it's not even gonna go there anyway.

Think if it was me l'd either find someone to just mess around with , or find a decent gf .
Then again , maybe ya could go to a pro .
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Old 8th February 2018, 9:17 AM   #27
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Originally Posted by Inflikted View Post
I'm just shy of 30, and I've never even been on a proper date with a girl, let alone done anything remotely physically affectionate. I honestly don't believe I ever will, either, but I do think about it a lot, and this is a subject I sometimes ponder about.

Like, obviously you wouldn't just blurt it out randomly with no context on a first date. But I imagine once you've been on a few dates, certain conversations and discussion points start coming up, and... I dunno, I mean, I wouldn't want to lie, but I also feel like the truth would make things horribly awkward. Like, most guys aren't really completely dateless/ "affectionless" at 30+.

The thing is, too, if I started dating someone, I think I'd be way too nervous/ skittish about initiating any kind of physical affection or intimacy. Like, I don't know that I'd be able to initiate a first kiss. I'm pretty sure I would not try to initiate sex in any way. So... I don't know how much of a problem that would be, either.

I dunno. I guess it doesn't matter much, because these are all just rhetorical scenarios that I'll never actually be in, so...


Both extremely problematic scenarios.
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Old 8th February 2018, 12:56 PM   #28
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It depends on the woman, but in general I would advise a guy your age to not reveal he is a virgin (either before or after sex). All the women I have talked to who have had experiences with this have been universally turned off by the admission.

Thereís enough information freely and easily available for virgin guys to give a good performance their first time. Itís not like you will be fumbling around not knowing where her lady parts are at.

Now, if you happen to meet a deeply religious girl who is saving herself for marriage and she wants a virgin guy to marry, then maybe your virginity will be seen as a positive. But every other woman will see it as a giant negative.
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Old 8th February 2018, 2:35 PM   #29
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I feel I should share my experiences too- although I've posted them on similar threads. I was a virgin until age 21, I was with someone for over 2 years- but we were LDR for the last year of the relationship- so sex wasn't that frequent. I was then single for 2 years and had sex twice in that time- both guys ended up flaking soon after for various reasons.

I recently got in to a new relationship (1 month official this weekend) and I genuinely didn't know my boyfriend was a virgin until he told me just before we had sex. We'd been going on lots of dates in the past month and things had been progressing pretty well in the bedroom department- but I had said I didn't want to have sex until he could stay the night after. So we'd waited til a weekend we were both free to spend the whole time together. He even met my mum the day before that weekend as she was visiting 😂. And he asked me to be his GF that day.
Literally we were getting hot and heavy and he suddenly just said really maturely that when we did have sex it would be his first time. I was really really surprised. I didn't see that coming at all from past activities! I was really pleased he told me- because I guess I behaved a bit differently? Like I really wanted it to be about him and did everything I could to make it the best for him etc and make it work. I appreciated that he was mature enough to tell me- of course I felt a lot of pressure incase he regretted it after- but I was very much emotionally invested by that point so it was just going to be a learning experience for both of us.

Yes it wasn't perfect the first time- but he's learning fast, we talk openly and give feedback etc. Communication is key.

He's 28 and recently told me that for various reasons he hasn't had a GF since he was 17... and just a handful of dates inbetween. He'd never made a girl orgasm before me and was pretty inexperienced.

Basically I really appreciate his honesty with everything. And OP there is hope! Don't write yourself off yet
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Old 8th February 2018, 11:54 PM   #30
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You should just Youtube everything you want to know about. Everybody is in experianced with a person, unless they get to know you. So don't make it a big deal.

You don't have to say anything unless you are directly asked.
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