LoveShack.org Community Forums

Reload this Page LoveShack.org Community Forums > Transitioning > In Search Of...

what do you do when you realize you'll be single forever??


In Search Of... Having a hard time forming friendships or finding companions, lovers, or associates? Is someone pursuing an unwelcome relationship with you? Talk about your experiences here.

Like Tree33Likes
Reply
 
LinkBack Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 13th January 2018, 2:05 PM   #16
Member
 
Join Date: May 2017
Location: Into the great wide open
Posts: 699
Quote:
Originally Posted by CautiouslyOptimistic View Post
I have 3 single friends who've done artificial insemination/IVF (successfully) after 40, and at least one I can think of who adopted. All very, very happy single moms with great kids . The key is to be financially ready, so you're on the right track.
^^^ I also have one friend that did the same thing. It cost her an arm and a leg, but it worked. She has a baby and seems very happy.
jjgitties is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 13th January 2018, 3:45 PM   #17
Established Member
 
darkmoon's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2011
Posts: 3,647
at weddings? etc?

there is usually somebody else solo, just is, seen it, so team up
darkmoon is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 13th January 2018, 4:34 PM   #18
Established Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2014
Posts: 983
I have a differnt mindset this year. I would love to meet a woman and have a great romantic relationship with her. I can't force it. When I look at my life in the past. Great things have happend for me, when I don't force it.

I see patterns in life. I think that for me. Women that are romantically attracted to me, just fall into my lap. Those women are closer to what I want anyways. All the women I go for. It never works out. No matter how much prep is put into it.

I don't feel I am missing out. I am not going to put a head trip on myself because I don't have a current Romantic relationship. I also feel a lot of us have this misperception that we all have to be in a romantic relationship and we all have to be coupled up all the time. Singleness is not a curse. For some of us, its just the way it is. I won't allow being technically single define me in a negative way.

Most of my friends that have SO right now. They had the women fall into their laps. They are not having to fend off other women that want to be with them.

As I have said in other posts. I am single really because of thee following factors. I don't play the game. Most of the women are attached anyways.

The woman that really likes me. She will just basically just be ga ga for me, when she sees me and try to make a connection. So why try to stress myself about it.

Learning to play guitar. Enjoying my friends/family. Going to movie and music concerts is where its at for me. Romantically connecting with a woman. Only when it comes my way with out force.
Mysterio is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 13th January 2018, 4:39 PM   #19
Established Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2016
Posts: 2,361
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mysterio View Post
I have a differnt mindset this year. I would love to meet a woman and have a great romantic relationship with her. I can't force it. When I look at my life in the past. Great things have happend for me, when I don't force it.

I see patterns in life. I think that for me. Women that are romantically attracted to me, just fall into my lap. Those women are closer to what I want anyways. All the women I go for. It never works out. No matter how much prep is put into it.

I don't feel I am missing out. I am not going to put a head trip on myself because I don't have a current Romantic relationship. I also feel a lot of us have this misperception that we all have to be in a romantic relationship and we all have to be coupled up all the time. Singleness is not a curse. For some of us, its just the way it is. I won't allow being technically single define me in a negative way.

Most of my friends that have SO right now. They had the women fall into their laps. They are not having to fend off other women that want to be with them.

As I have said in other posts. I am single really because of thee following factors. I don't play the game. Most of the women are attached anyways.

The woman that really likes me. She will just basically just be ga ga for me, when she sees me and try to make a connection. So why try to stress myself about it.

Learning to play guitar. Enjoying my friends/family. Going to movie and music concerts is where its at for me. Romantically connecting with a woman. Only when it comes my way with out force.
Often times you lack the same feelings as the women falling in your lap.

I agree though, forcing a relationship ship never works out. Iíve always found girlfriends when I wasnít looking.

Sex can be had by playing an active role though.
SevenCity is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 13th January 2018, 6:24 PM   #20
Established Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2016
Posts: 323
Quote:
Originally Posted by GuitarGuy7 View Post
You should try meeting and dating women from the phillippines. Iv'e heard a lot of good reviews from people trying to date in the phillipines and filipino women in general. Not to mention a lot of filipino women are family-oriented.

You should consider it.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SzfSq_kzV8A
I believe OP is a woman (and doesn't swing that way), based OP's past posts.
Chris2016 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 13th January 2018, 7:04 PM   #21
Established Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2016
Posts: 323
Quote:
Originally Posted by Remystacks View Post
It was always my dream to have a big beautiful family. But now, I'm hitting late thirties & haven't been in a serious relationship in years. So... now what? I feel like my life serves no purpose now, and I'm letting people down (my mom asks about grandkids every day almost)
I've pretty much accepted the fact that kids are pretty much out for me.. those of you who are single .. what makes you ok with it? What do you do when couple situations arise? Like wedding invites with plus one?? I just need to know what to do now..
I'm around the same age group. Same boat.

My current perspective, it's just another phase of life, for single people in this age group. Single people in this age group have a different story to tell, and there's nothing wrong with that.

I don't think I'm okay with it. I would still like to think it's probable for me (even though the odds don't look good).

What do you think of artificial insemination/IVF? If I was female I'd look into this. Because options for guys to have a biological kid is not the same; it's harder I think.

I'm almost tempted to just find someone and get her pregnant. Screw the whole liking her, being "in love", and relationship thing. Cause as every year goes by, it gets slimmer and slimmer I feel.
Popsicle likes this.
Chris2016 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 14th January 2018, 4:00 PM   #22
Established Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2015
Location: Cape Town, South Africa
Posts: 2,603
Quote:
Originally Posted by Remystacks View Post
It was always my dream to have a big beautiful family. But now, I'm hitting late thirties & haven't been in a serious relationship in years. So... now what? I feel like my life serves no purpose now, and I'm letting people down (my mom asks about grandkids every day almost)
I've pretty much accepted the fact that kids are pretty much out for me.. those of you who are single .. what makes you ok with it? What do you do when couple situations arise? Like wedding invites with plus one?? I just need to know what to do now..


My take is this.


I assume you have had relationships in the past? If you have that means you are capable of having one you simply need to find a person.


Life always has purpose, one aspect does not define overall purpose, you may meet someone younger, it happens all the time, typically there can eb 7-8 year age gaps.


The bold part I can answer, find a great friend to go with.
ZA Dater is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 14th January 2018, 8:40 PM   #23
Member
 
Join Date: May 2017
Location: Into the great wide open
Posts: 699
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mysterio View Post
I have a differnt mindset this year. I would love to meet a woman and have a great romantic relationship with her. I can't force it. When I look at my life in the past. Great things have happend for me, when I don't force it.

I see patterns in life. I think that for me. Women that are romantically attracted to me, just fall into my lap. Those women are closer to what I want anyways. All the women I go for. It never works out. No matter how much prep is put into it.

I don't feel I am missing out. I am not going to put a head trip on myself because I don't have a current Romantic relationship. I also feel a lot of us have this misperception that we all have to be in a romantic relationship and we all have to be coupled up all the time. Singleness is not a curse. For some of us, its just the way it is. I won't allow being technically single define me in a negative way.

Most of my friends that have SO right now. They had the women fall into their laps. They are not having to fend off other women that want to be with them.

As I have said in other posts. I am single really because of thee following factors. I don't play the game. Most of the women are attached anyways.

The woman that really likes me. She will just basically just be ga ga for me, when she sees me and try to make a connection. So why try to stress myself about it.

Learning to play guitar. Enjoying my friends/family. Going to movie and music concerts is where its at for me. Romantically connecting with a woman. Only when it comes my way with out force.
Go for it buddy!! As.for me. I believe I will try to find a new wife this year.
jjgitties is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 15th January 2018, 10:14 PM   #24
Established Member
 
Cora's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Where troubles melt like lemon drops
Posts: 1,031
Iíve just come to accept that itís not meant to be. What helps me is doing things I enjoy...hobbies of mine. Even focusing my time on finding new hobbies. Also spending time with people I love...family and friends. Realizing that life is so short. No one is promised tomorrow so enjoy your time now and the people you love while you can so you wonít have any regrets.

Iíve always dreamt of being married and having a family since I was little. I adore children and want them so badly, but at 35 I am starting to give up hope. I am coming to peace with the fact that everything is as it should be and that itís no need for me to worry or despair because if itís meant to be it will be. Just because Iím single with no kids doesnít mean life doesnít go on. Itís not the end of the world no matter how much it felt like it. So whenever I start to feel sad or sorry for myself I just think of all the people who are less fortunate than me. Like those who may have a fatal disease. Those who would give anything just to live a full life or at the very least just one more day. So I am going to be grateful and enjoy life while I still have a chance. Instead of feeling bad that I didnít get everything I wanted...
ZA Dater likes this.
__________________
You can close your eyes to the things you do not want to see, but you cannot close your heart to the things you do not want to feel. ~ Anonymous
Cora is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 16th January 2018, 2:34 AM   #25
Established Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2016
Posts: 323
Check out Holly Butcher on Facebook (or Google). Young lady (age 27) who recently lost her battle to cancer. She wrote a poignant letter on Facebook, and in it she mentions of growing old and wanting a family.

So yeah, some of us are growing older and single and time is passing, but make the most of it you can, your life is your own story to tell.

Last edited by Chris2016; 16th January 2018 at 2:42 AM..
Chris2016 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 16th January 2018, 8:09 AM   #26
Established Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2015
Location: Cape Town, South Africa
Posts: 2,603
Quote:
Originally Posted by Chris2016 View Post
Check out Holly Butcher on Facebook (or Google). Young lady (age 27) who recently lost her battle to cancer. She wrote a poignant letter on Facebook, and in it she mentions of growing old and wanting a family.

So yeah, some of us are growing older and single and time is passing, but make the most of it you can, your life is your own story to tell.


That letter is a fantastic piece of writing and should be read by every person able to read.


I think you need to steer towards things from which you derive happiness, wallowing in pity doesn't really serve much purpose, nor does dating people who don't excite you.
ZA Dater is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 16th January 2018, 8:38 AM   #27
Established Member
 
todreaminblue's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: down under
Posts: 14,481
Journal Entries: 2
what makes it ok to be single....is when i first introduce myself to someone new i dont ever feel i have to say .....hi my name is deb and im single.....its not an infirmity to be single...its not contagious......nor is it the sum of who i am...if anyone asks are you married or single ...


ill answer im single...ill go to single events..if they have really good music or uplifting ideals...i go to church single activities soemtimes....i liek th epeeps that go...... but why im really ok with it...is because i can trust god ...if the guy is out there for me to be with...he will trip over me eventually..or ill stumble into him.....im a bit accident prone...theres a match for me somewhere on this glorious green earth..more than one actually......until then...im ok.....and so is being single.with accident pronitus.......deb
__________________
in the ache of night,luminous prayers take fragile flight,
somewhere between battalions of warring sins,
there exists hope and love for peace begins...deb
todreaminblue is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 19th January 2018, 6:38 PM   #28
Established Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2014
Posts: 983
I have no problem going out single. I go to lots of places by myself and I don't feel strange about it.

Being single to me is about ultimate freedom and you don't have to compromise anything.

I have lots of family/friends that I can do things with as well. The only thing I don't like about being single is a lack of physical affection.
Mysterio is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 19th January 2018, 10:02 PM   #29
Established Member
 
Cookiesandough's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2016
Location: USA
Posts: 5,152
Begin your cat collection. Personally, I like to begin with something like an American Shorthair and then work my way up to something like a Maine Coon because it can be a little hard getting all the knots out their fur.
Cookiesandough is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 19th January 2018, 10:23 PM   #30
Established Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: east coast
Posts: 7,160
Get really, really good at masturbating.
enigma32 is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Bookmarks

Thread Tools
Display Modes

 

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Am I going to be Single forever? napy666 Dating 36 14th April 2014 7:33 PM
forever single? makeithappen General Relationship Discussion 6 2nd February 2014 12:17 PM
Startin to realize why i hated being single...the games habs53 Dating 3 4th January 2011 5:55 PM
Forever Single? tuscansun In Search Of... 1 23rd April 2009 6:35 PM
Single forever??? scorpion123 General Relationship Discussion 2 6th September 2004 3:06 AM

 

All times are GMT -4. The time now is 9:20 PM.

Please note: The suggestions and advice offered on this web site are opinions only and are not to be used in the place of professional psychological counseling or medical advice. If you or someone close to you is currently in crisis or in an emergency situation, contact your local law enforcement agency or emergency number.


Copyright © 1997-2013 LoveShack.org. All Rights Reserved.