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Ok, throwing it out there to the forum, what do YOU do?


In Search Of... Having a hard time forming friendships or finding companions, lovers, or associates? Is someone pursuing an unwelcome relationship with you? Talk about your experiences here.

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Old 8th January 2018, 11:03 PM   #16
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Bars, OLD, and the ski lift.

Yet I have horrible luck with dating and always end up with the super hot jerk type so I clearly need to switch it up or stop going for the same type of dudes.

The guys Iíve met through people are generally better, but yeah that can be hard to come by.
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Old 8th January 2018, 11:51 PM   #17
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FWIW.. I never met a real person via online. I usually meet people at get together's and parties. It also helps if you loosen up and drink (not too much, but enough to drop your guard down a bit) and you can start talking BS and next thing you know, you have a shared interest. You kind of have to be at a place where you can actually talk and have a conversion. Places like loud bars and concerts -- it's a little harder.

You can also meet people in various night school programs and so on. But you can't just go there and no talk to anyone. You sort of need to make an effort to be a little out going even if you are not.
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Old 9th January 2018, 12:44 AM   #18
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It's been a long time since I met anyone online. I think maybe 2010 or therabouts, around the time we got divorced.

Since then, any chance meetings have occurred through voluntary social activities and not through friends or family, like vacations I've gone on or travels to and from meeting friends, or going to cruises or car shows with one of my cars, to volunteer work to, most recently, running into a lady who just mesmerized me getting tacos at the local vets hall with my best friend's wife. Nothing planned. Just happened. I don't live in the area anymore so nothing came of it but it did make my list of meetings. I made small talk with a few ladies at a restaurant when dining with best friend's daughter and her H before Xmas. Showed up, bla, bla, again don't live there anymore but it's fun and could've gone somewhere otherwise.

Essentially, get out and socialize and be oneself and stuff happens. I'm no Brad Pitt room stopper, mostly invisible in life so yeah one has to open one's mouth or otherwise get attention of fellow humans. It takes action. Good luck!
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Old 9th January 2018, 2:02 AM   #19
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I've met like 50+ people online and smashed most of them, but have no game when it comes to a cold approach IRL
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Old 9th January 2018, 8:15 AM   #20
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Originally Posted by choyhtya View Post
I've met like 50+ people online and smashed most of them, but have no game when it comes to a cold approach IRL
OLD sites have a reputation for attracting certain types of people. Anti socials, peeps looking for sex hookups, e.t.c. and then people complain about them. There is nothing more contradictory than two anti social people meeting up socially in public.
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Old 24th January 2018, 4:08 PM   #21
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lt always surprises me that nearly everyone in forums seem to do gym and l would've thought gyms would be a great place to meet people but no one ever seems too, weird.
Another weird thing is l've know a few of those friends people know dozens of people , always have someone around, but they've usually been single. dunno how that wokrs.

In younger days l always found parties were the best of the best and l love to party too so it was a win win.
I go to the gym, but I have a strict no dating at the gym policy. Also, I usually go early when it's almost empty.


Where to meet people? Classes are a good start. Most of the classes I take are female dominated.

I've met a couple guys while walking the beach. I met one at a car wash. Supermarkets are easy places to meet people. The less I want to date, The more guys try to holla *shrug&
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Old 24th January 2018, 7:22 PM   #22
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You just have to get out of the house. Like yesterday, as old as I am, a guy started talking to me and helping me at Lowe's. He seemed like he wanted a friends and I would have encouraged that except he was doom and gloom, the second person this week to tell me they think the world is ending soon. Ain't no one got time for that.
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Old 25th January 2018, 1:46 AM   #23
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Here's a list of places where I/friends have met significants others/partners/husbands;

Work (I wouldn't recommend this personally, but it works for some )
Scottish dancing classes
Church
Work conferences/seminars
University/college (both as young people and "mature" students)
Public library
Supermarket
Via friends and family
Political/campaigning groups
Hospital
Tennis club
Ballroom dancing classes (good for guys as they are always short of men to partner the ladies)
Dentist's waiting room
Queue for a bus/coach
Train/tube/metro (usually only works if you catch the same train regularly for work and sit in the same seat -what we call in UK 'season ticket holder')
Charity work
Walking the dog in the park/on the beach

and of course the ubiquitous OLD
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Old 25th January 2018, 2:52 AM   #24
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Originally Posted by mortensorchid View Post
The problem is that I NEVER EVER meet anyone unless it's through an online source. And they are ookie to begin with.
Sounds like you should put the phone down, find some hobbies, and go from there.

It's not that difficult to meet people in real life
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Old 25th January 2018, 9:07 AM   #25
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Sounds like you should put the phone down, find some hobbies, and go from there.

It's not that difficult to meet people in real life
Just cuz I'm a little annoyed - how old are you? For me, it WAS 'not that difficult to meet people in real life' 40 years ago before I was first married. Now (and the community I live in is a significant 'variable'), I am finding it just about impossible - unless you think it's appropriate for a 60-something to ask a 16 y/o he meets at a dance class (literally happened a couple of weeks ago - and, NO - I did NOT ask her out) if she wants to 'go out'. Geez, people, understand that there are circumstances where what works for you, doesn't work for others!
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Old 25th January 2018, 1:35 PM   #26
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Just cuz I'm a little annoyed - how old are you? For me, it WAS 'not that difficult to meet people in real life' 40 years ago before I was first married. Now (and the community I live in is a significant 'variable'), I am finding it just about impossible - unless you think it's appropriate for a 60-something to ask a 16 y/o he meets at a dance class (literally happened a couple of weeks ago - and, NO - I did NOT ask her out) if she wants to 'go out'. Geez, people, understand that there are circumstances where what works for you, doesn't work for others!
Half your age.

Hobbies, events, and going out it's not that difficult. If you're a man, you just have to start a conversation. Does rejection happen? Definitely
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Old 1st February 2018, 12:03 AM   #27
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Originally Posted by phineas View Post
House parties, free concerts, bar where bands are playing.
then there is the oddball grocery shopping or places I take my kids to have fun.
usually there is one or two women i catch looking at me.
At which point i meet their stare and wait until they look away then just approach and introduce myself.
I mean they were looking for a reason and i'm too old to care about rejection.

So what happens when you go talk to them ?
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Old 1st February 2018, 12:21 AM   #28
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Meeting people I have no issues with. I meet new people everyday. Something must be wrong with me I guess because I can't find anyone interested in me.

Getting out the house and socializing is a key but I have no idea what my problem is.
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