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Love Is Our Greatest Burden


In Search Of... Having a hard time forming friendships or finding companions, lovers, or associates? Is someone pursuing an unwelcome relationship with you? Talk about your experiences here.

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Old 1st January 2018, 11:08 PM   #1
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Love Is Our Greatest Burden

Everywhere I go, I see slavery. Not the kind where we're working for others, but to our wants. We as humans are slaves to our desires to find love and to find sex.

Why is it that many people seek love and sex even when the process of finding it brings them much frustration and pain? Why is it that we get into relationships even though in the end it will only lead to pain and frustration?


So many people are blinded by their desires to find love, to find a girlfriend, to have sex. We swipe hopelessly on Tinder hoping someone will give us a chance, we go to bars or nightclubs to try and talk to people, we get into crappy relationships just so we won't be alone. Is the desire for love so powerful that we pursue it even though it brings us much pain?

You want to know the irony? The desire for sex is our greatest asset, but also our greatest burden. It's what makes sure humans continue to exist but at the same time, holds many of us back from achieving our true potential because we are so fixated on love and sex.

Last edited by GuitarGuy7; 1st January 2018 at 11:10 PM..
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Old 2nd January 2018, 12:21 AM   #2
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yea that makes sense

Last edited by Cookiesandough; 2nd January 2018 at 1:03 AM..
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Old 2nd January 2018, 1:18 AM   #3
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yea that makes sense
Who was the guy you were talking about again? It was an interesting read.
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Old 2nd January 2018, 4:28 AM   #4
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Your true potential? What is that exactly? Is that like your true purpose in life?

The men I've always found the most attractive are the ones who are able to laser focus on their goals but are still available in the emotional sense. It's not easy to find but they are gold.
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Old 2nd January 2018, 8:54 PM   #5
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This year I am putting Prayer into the universe to find a special woman that I can love and vice versa. The Journey is frustrating. I never really cared about love and all that before age 24. After that. With all the trying and effort I have put in. I feel I have over extended my soul in this matter

Sometimes I really feel wiped out with all the thinking about how to aquire a relationship.

The best thing for me is this. Go about my life and let a special woman drop into my lap. I don't have to be the driving force of getting love in my life. I can't control who likes me that way.

Truth be told. I don't think a lot of us are really missing out. Some of us are strong the way we are. I know some friends and they are locked into situations that are out of control.

Unless a woman is in my social environment. Making an effort to connect with me. I am not missing a thing.

One thing I notice about all of us looking for love. We have allowed it to affect us in a negative way and we are not really finding it. All my friends that found love. For the most part. It was never when they were looking for it. Always when they never cared.

So I am saying that if we really want love, it will be when we don't go seeking it.
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Old 2nd January 2018, 9:03 PM   #6
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It's not my greatest burden at the moment, not even close, but a lot of what you say is true for a lot of people. Especially this: "You want to know the irony? The desire for sex is our greatest asset, but also our greatest burden. It's what makes sure humans continue to exist but at the same time, holds many of us back from achieving our true potential because we are so fixated on love and sex."

Interesting stuff.
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Old 3rd January 2018, 3:41 AM   #7
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When I think about women. Its not like the first thing I want is sex. Its more Interesting conversations and laughs with a little bit of affection.

Also. I feel that its tiering to do the legwork all the time. I keep saying this on a bunch of posts. Unless the woman is also making some sort of an effort. Its just a waste of time to get to know her. Not one male friend that is with their SO had to really work it with her.

I have female friends if I want a female perspective. Love is what it is. A positive energy force. We just can't control when it comes in our lives.

Right now my Parents are still alive. My brother is doing well. I have a lot of friends that are still with me. I have my cat Mystery with me. Why it matters that I have not found a great Love match escapes me.

This year for me is to lower credit card debit. Go from 214 lbs to 190 and let the universe bring me a love match. Its like whats coming for me has to be better than what I am going for.
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Old 3rd January 2018, 12:47 PM   #8
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For me love is not a burden. It's a gift. I'm perhaps enamored of it, but not a slave to it. I'm subject to its whims insomuch as people are people and inherently whimsical themselves. Who's to say who will end up loving who? Or indeed the mysterious why of it all?

Yep, I absolutely seek sex. And that's not so difficult an endeavour. But love... I don't seek it, it happens of its own accord. It's that thing that falls out of meeting someone new and getting to know them. Every now and again. It's not an expectation. It's a bonus on top of the pleasure of making a new acquaintance. IME it comes from wonder, not expectation.

Just meet new people. The majority of which you will not love. However, some of which you will like immensely. Some of whom you will care about deeply. And every now and again.. However rarely... you will love.

Every new person a mystery. Every mystery an adventure.

That's something to rejoice in. Not lament.
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Old 3rd January 2018, 1:36 PM   #9
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Maybe "love" is an emotional construct to ensure sex and the propagation of the species.
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Take a straight and stronger course...
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Old 3rd January 2018, 5:03 PM   #10
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For me love is not a burden. It's a gift. I'm perhaps enamored of it, but not a slave to it. I'm subject to its whims insomuch as people are people and inherently whimsical themselves. Who's to say who will end up loving who? Or indeed the mysterious why of it all?

Yep, I absolutely seek sex. And that's not so difficult an endeavour. But love... I don't seek it, it happens of its own accord. It's that thing that falls out of meeting someone new and getting to know them. Every now and again. It's not an expectation. It's a bonus on top of the pleasure of making a new acquaintance. IME it comes from wonder, not expectation.

What's easy for some is hard for others.

I have a saying in life. One person's luxury is another person's struggle and their adversity. Experiencing hurt is something we all have in common, but the cause of this hurt is exclusive to the individual.

For you, finding sex is easy and finding love is easy but for every person who has no problem finding love and sex, there is another person who struggles with even getting a date.

All I ask is that you never take it for granted... Love
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Old 3rd January 2018, 6:14 PM   #11
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Maybe "love" is an emotional construct to ensure sex and the propagation of the species.
No, more like a biological mechanism. Love is just chemicals in the brain like everything else
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Old 3rd January 2018, 9:48 PM   #12
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Its all about things working in ones favour and what you will take or not take.

My Buddy DT had love drop in his lap. His ex GF came back into his life and she brought two kids from her prvious marriage, inwhich today she is still legally tied to her ex husband. She managed to get DT to live with her. They decided to have kids togther and brought bio kid #2 into the world last year. This all started around Feb 2013. He has love, but not the way he wants it.

My buddy MK had it the way he wanted. his wife dropped into his life in May of 1998. They married in 2000 and had a boy in 2003/girl in 2005. So thats the way things are.

We all have to decide whats the best way for us. Exactly how we want or a little bit off.

I am more the MK style. Drop into my lap the right way. For me thats single and childless. I think thats the only thing that going to work out well. Or maybe one child at best if she had one. Not 5 with two baby dads. She would really have to sell me that we are a great fit with that.
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