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People in relationships?


In Search Of... Having a hard time forming friendships or finding companions, lovers, or associates? Is someone pursuing an unwelcome relationship with you? Talk about your experiences here.

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Old 13th December 2017, 2:42 PM   #1
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People in relationships?

Simple, question is there anything to be gained by becoming friendly with them in terms of attempting to further ones own dating goals?


In theory "oh you can meet her friends", how often does this actually happen in reality? I cannot think of one example in my own life and of people I know!


Anyone every actually managed to get this to work?
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Old 13th December 2017, 5:58 PM   #2
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Yes, no, maybe.

My wife was in a relationship with anther man, when we became friends at work. Which saw her ask me out on a date after a little while, to then dump the other guy for me.

I've known some women who were married or in sexual relationships with other men, who asked me out on dates and or offered me sex.

I've never had female or male friends set me up with anyone for a date, probably because having sex, dating and marrying women, has always come easily for me.

That said I've never set out to make friends with women already in sexual relationships, with the goal of improving my dating opportunities.

I make friends with people who I like and get on well with because I enjoy their company. I don't make friends with people for the opportunities they will bring or to use them.
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Old 13th December 2017, 6:32 PM   #3
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I do it to keep the social/seduction/flirtation machine oiled just in case I decide to do some mating again down the road. Like married folks often share, they're married, not dead. No sex, no attachments, their ILY's are situational and I don't really believe them (long experience), easy peasy next.

I'm sure some people are successful with married friends expanding their social network to meet single people but TBH, even with no plan like that, I had tons of married friends when young since nearly everyone married young and it was exceedingly rare to even get an opportunity, much less have one pan out. The only exception I can really think of was my best friend at the time, his wife set me up with one of her clients and we dated awhile. Heh, she (the wife) was messing with another guy at the time and so I was dating the client and commiserating with the friend over his wife's dalliances. They patched things up later.

Anyway, any real relationship success, IME, came independently.
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Old 13th December 2017, 7:04 PM   #4
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I don't think you should try to be friends with someone to try and see if they have friends to date. You should try to be friends with them because you actually want to be friends with them.

You have to be careful with people in relationships, as depending on their age or life stage they may only be friends with other couples, which doesn't help your situation. Still, the more connections you make, the higher the likelihood is of finding someone (although it is never guaranteed... just like any other dating strategy!)
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Old 13th December 2017, 7:17 PM   #5
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I dont feel this is in any way an honest friend....it doesnt sit right with me......you become friends with people because you like them you enjoy being with them .....spending time..... ...and eventually you love them......and they are part of your life forever..thats my friends..i love them ...dearly...i miss them when i dont see them...i would hope they kind of love me back for who i am not what i can do...........that to me is true friendship...

being friends to see if you can date someone they know...is not true friendship...if you get match makered that is different in my opinion..... most of the time matchmaking it is done with love by well intentioned friends or fam who care.......but to set out to use a person to see how and who they can introduce you too is networking....it isnt friendship...its clinical...cold....aquaintance like.....and it is not right.....deb............
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Old 13th December 2017, 8:06 PM   #6
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IME other people tend to try to block your dating goals, if anything. But I'm a woman, so other women tend to shut me out if they're married or in relationships. Nor would I ever be invited to meet their husband's single friends, because they don't want a single woman anywhere in sight of their little nest, period.

Maybe it's not the same for everyone but It's always been that way for me. Hence, I have no female friends that will come within ten feet of me, and am also having a hard time meeting men.

Men are lucky. They don't care if they're married, they'll invite their single male friends to hang out the same as usual, nothing changes when they get into relationships or marry, and will try to set their single friends up if they can and see them happy... women are different, operating from a society that pits women against each other for the most part.
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Old 13th December 2017, 10:08 PM   #7
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ZA Dater View Post
Simple, question is there anything to be gained by becoming friendly with them in terms of attempting to further ones own dating goals?


In theory "oh you can meet her friends", how often does this actually happen in reality? I cannot think of one example in my own life and of people I know!


Anyone every actually managed to get this to work?
I met my DH through a male friend who was in a relationship.

My friend, S, was friends with a woman in a relationship named M. M introduced S to her brother, who is now S's husband. M introduced S's sister to one of their cousins and S's sister is now married to him.

While I was dating my husband, I introduced my friend L to my other friend, R. They dated and then lived together for a while, but eventually split up.


Quote:
Originally Posted by Fair View Post
IME other people tend to try to block your dating goals, if anything. But I'm a woman, so other women tend to shut me out if they're married or in relationships. Nor would I ever be invited to meet their husband's single friends, because they don't want a single woman anywhere in sight of their little nest, period.
Lady, you need real friends. I am a long married woman and have always had a single female friend or two. I've also always had a few married friends, too. Every married one of us is damn near obsessed with introducing every single person we know to every other single person we know in hopes that we can get them married off already.
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Old 13th December 2017, 10:53 PM   #8
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It really depends on the age and the people. People in marriages with kids tend to only know other married people with kids. What are you gonna do exactly with them as a single girl?

The few times a single person hung out at one of the events that the familes hung out with, everyone kind of asked, she is so and so here and who are they.
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Old 14th December 2017, 10:43 AM   #9
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Friendship to me is more like that for me. Making friends with my friends Friend's, is more of a reality, than my friends setting me up with a love potential.

People are usually wrapped up with themselves for the most part. There are bills to pay and things to do. My two closest women friends. One lives in the states to my Canada. The other is 20 yrs older than me. So I don't think they would be able to help by default.

In my life. Love relationships to me are scarce and not accessible for the most part. Friendships are easy. Thats the way things work for me. Its rare that I kiss/make love to a woman on a regular basis. If one looks at me. Its not like I dress off or my looks are whatever. The only thing I could do is let life bring me a great love, instead of looking for it. Or Go all Gung ho and try to love match myself, with any woman that i fancy.

Its funny. I think for some reason a lot of us are aggiatted that for us, that love has to be this holy grail and we have to seek it out, because it does not show itself to us all the time.
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