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Why Some People Are Just Destined To Be Alone


In Search Of... Having a hard time forming friendships or finding companions, lovers, or associates? Is someone pursuing an unwelcome relationship with you? Talk about your experiences here.

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Old 4th November 2017, 11:26 AM   #16
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Seems to me that a common trait in people who are struggling to find anyone is the dislike of places where it is possible to meet single people ie meet ups, parties, fun events, bars and clubs.
They get depressed on OLD and everyone around them seems to be already taken...

They are not willing to compromise their position concerning going out to meet other singles in places where singles congregate, and whilst others are coupling up, they are left on the sidelines and alone.
People tend to go out "socialising" to meet someone, it doesn't mean they are necessarily party animals or drunks...
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Old 4th November 2017, 11:39 AM   #17
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How can someone like me go YEARS without dating anybody
That's a good question., but only you know the answer. What have you done to try?

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while a lot of people can date someone new within a couple of weeks? Why do some people go on date after date, while others like me struggle to even get a reply back?
Most likely they do things that improve their odds of getting what they want, not just complain about how hard it is and expect something for it.


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Why is dating ridiculously easy for some while it's painfully hard for others?
Everyone has to play the hand their dealt. It may be "easy" for successful people as a result of difficult things they've done, sacrificed, overcome, achieved, etc that grant them the appeal to others that makes dating easy for them. The people who it's painfully hard for might be the ones expecting something for nothing; unwilling to face any sort of discomfort or challenge that might refine them and make them more appealing.
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Old 4th November 2017, 11:48 AM   #18
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Tell us about yourself and dont take my questions as an attack towards you, maybe we can find the reason you are having trouble:

Whats your age and sex? Sorry dont remember now

Are you physically attractive? Average height or tall, good shape/fit/muscular, ugly, cute? Sadly it plays an important part.

How about social skills? Do you consider yourself awkward or you enjoy the company of people and groups? Are you a nice and kind person?

Are you a smart and interesting person to meet?

Are you good at something? Cooking, fixing stuff, playing a musical instrument.

Have you studied something or are you a highschool dropout?

Do you have a good job or you switch jobs between grocery stores and mcdonalds?

What kind of clothes do you usually wear? I mean if you are lets say 30 years old you cannot still dress like a skateboarder.
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Old 5th November 2017, 2:21 PM   #19
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Seems to me that a common trait in people who are struggling to find anyone is the dislike of places where it is possible to meet single people ie meet ups, parties, fun events, bars and clubs.
They get depressed on OLD and everyone around them seems to be already taken...

They are not willing to compromise their position concerning going out to meet other singles in places where singles congregate, and whilst others are coupling up, they are left on the sidelines and alone.
People tend to go out "socialising" to meet someone, it doesn't mean they are necessarily party animals or drunks...
The vast majority of this is true but having said that how do you advise the OP to integrate himself in such an environment?
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Old 5th November 2017, 4:08 PM   #20
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Everyone has to play the hand their dealt. It may be "easy" for successful people as a result of difficult things they've done, sacrificed, overcome, achieved, etc that grant them the appeal to others that makes dating easy for them. The people who it's painfully hard for might be the ones expecting something for nothing; unwilling to face any sort of discomfort or challenge that might refine them and make them more appealing.
I don't know, I've seen people give up a lot and be 'handed' success, while others make several valiant efforts and still fail.
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Old 5th November 2017, 4:17 PM   #21
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The vast majority of this is true but having said that how do you advise the OP to integrate himself in such an environment?
He is in college he will never get a better chance to meet women.
There is usually a big social calendar associated and so many people to go out with and have a good time.

The Surprising Secret To College Success? Study Less And Socialize More
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Your summa cum laude diploma might look great framed on the wall of your first condo, but your 4.0 won’t keep you warm at night or teach you how to thrive in an increasingly fragmented and insecure labor market.
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Old 5th November 2017, 5:23 PM   #22
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He is in college he will never get a better chance to meet women.
There is usually a big social calendar associated and so many people to go out with and have a good time.

One of the problems is that i'm going to be 23 in a month, i'm a 23 year old freshman hanging out with kids 4 or 5 years younger. I could still pass for a 20 year old if I wanted to. But I know here in 3 or 4 years, I will probably look older among a group of 19 or 20 year olds.

Are 18 to 20 year old girls into 23 or 24 year old guys? I'm just asking because i'll probably be in college for a while because I started late.

I took a few classes here and there through 18 to 20. But I didn't really start college until I was 21. I lived in the dorms when I was 21, moved out and now i'm going to a community college back home.
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Old 5th November 2017, 5:29 PM   #23
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Are 18 to 20 year old girls into 23 or 24 year old guys?
of course they are. just make sure you get positive proof of age before you fool around.

you'll do fine
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Old 5th November 2017, 5:38 PM   #24
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I took a few classes here and there through 18 to 20. But I didn't really start college until I was 21. I lived in the dorms when I was 21, moved out and now i'm going to a community college back home.
Are you now living at home?
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Old 5th November 2017, 6:01 PM   #25
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Are you now living at home?
Right now yeah.

I moved out for the first time when I was 20 and I lived in an apartment for a year but I got very lonely and unhealthy. I was used to my parents cooking me dinner and now I was forced to go to the grocery store and I had no idea how to cook. I became unhealthy and underweight, and I was already barely normal weight back when I was with my parents. I was super depressed, super lonely, all I wanted was a girlfriend.

Then I moved to the dorms in college in another state when I was 21 simply because I wanted the college experience and I needed something new. It was nice that I didn't have to cook my own food and a gym was nearby so I gained back all the weight I had lost and I definitely was more healthy. The problem was that it was a small community college in the middle of nowhere, I became lonely and depressed because I didn't have any friends and seeing everyone hooking up or finding their bf/gf. So I moved back to my hometown to continue college.

Iv'e been living with my parents for about 6 months now. But right now i'm in the process of getting a new apartment with another roommate. Hopefully the third time is the charm


Everybody's worried about getting overweight and fat when they're older. I'll probably have the opposite problem. I'll probably be underweight when i'm older.

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Old 5th November 2017, 9:51 PM   #26
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I was going to write something long so I just cut it down.

Life is long. 80 to 90 something at best. If you really take care of yourself. For us to think we are missing out due to being single is a not what we should define ourselves.

Lots of people I know are breaking up. What makes one couple stay together vs another one that falls apart is personal temperment and circumstances.

It can't be just put together as one person is doing something right. The other wrong. I have two friends. S and G. Both Males. They broke up with their long term loves. S after 29 yrs. G after 10. Yet both of them lack in the friendship area of their lives. G does more than S. G has his current GF, but his family is not really there in terms of interacting with him. I have the family and friends, but the GF aspect in my life is scarce. The last date for me was 2015/2013. I don't have a lot of dates. Should I try to disect that part of my life.

I am really not surrounded by women that look at me as a romantic prospect that is single. Its hard to gage why certain people are single and why others can go from Relationship to Relationship.
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Old 6th November 2017, 1:12 AM   #27
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If I am supposed to live to 87/97. I guess I would rather have my love life at the back half of my life than the front.

Maybe we are a lot more restless with our lives in our 20-50/60's. I don't think that the 60-90's age group are that restless. They have better temperment. My parents made it more because they toughed each other out. More than they have this big love for each other.
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Old 6th November 2017, 5:33 AM   #28
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Are 18 to 20 year old girls into 23 or 24 year old guys? I'm just asking because i'll probably be in college for a while because I started late.
Yes, they are. That's not an issue. But I'm not sure they are into guys that age who are living at home and depend on their parents for relatively simple tasks, such as cooking. At that age you'll be a young adult who should depend less on his parents and more on himself and his circle of friends.
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Old 6th November 2017, 10:24 AM   #29
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I don't know, I've seen people give up a lot and be 'handed' success, while others make several valiant efforts and still fail.
As I said, you've got to play the hand you're dealt to the best of your ability. "Effort" isn't the X-factor, it's effort that manifests into competency, considered in conjunction with all the other things whether you can control them or not. You can "try" really hard at something, but if you're doing wrong to begin with, your effort doesn't help or is counterproductive until you can convert effort into practical knowledge and apply it.
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Old 6th November 2017, 2:22 PM   #30
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As I said, you've got to play the hand you're dealt to the best of your ability. "Effort" isn't the X-factor, it's effort that manifests into competency, considered in conjunction with all the other things whether you can control them or not. You can "try" really hard at something, but if you're doing wrong to begin with, your effort doesn't help or is counterproductive until you can convert effort into practical knowledge and apply it.
The best way to do this in my opinion is to set targets and goals and work towards those, really applies to everything so the above is good life advice.
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