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I dont know how to find the woman of my dreams.


In Search Of... Having a hard time forming friendships or finding companions, lovers, or associates? Is someone pursuing an unwelcome relationship with you? Talk about your experiences here.

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Old 3rd November 2017, 4:47 PM   #16
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Originally Posted by TheTraveler View Post
You said she wants to meet you again, so continue to go on spending time with her.

THROW the relationship, bf/gf crap out the window. Don't worry about all that. Get that garbage out of your head and have fun with her
You are telling me to accept the friendzone then?
They say theres no way out once there
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Old 3rd November 2017, 7:10 PM   #17
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The man of my dreams just popped up out of nowhere and we got married less than a year into our relationship.

My best advice is to not go looking, because the right one will walk into your life when the timing is right.

I am 26 and he is 54, but that never mattered to me and seeing as you don't seem superficial or bound to a certain "type" you have limitless opportunities to finding your ideal women.

I wish you the all the best and keep us posted on your journey, if it helps.
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Old 3rd November 2017, 7:13 PM   #18
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You've said you're very demanding, she is a busy lady with a lot going on just now which she needs to focus on.
Sometimes it's just not worth getting into something that you only know is likely to cause more obligations when life is already tough as it is.

You should move on from this one.
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Old 3rd November 2017, 7:22 PM   #19
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Right. Too busy... The "I don't have time for a relationship" line. The president has time for a relationship.

When Chad or Tyrone come around, watch her schedule and other things open right up.

Keep your options open. Real open.

Last edited by Cookiesandough; 3rd November 2017 at 7:37 PM..
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Old 3rd November 2017, 8:14 PM   #20
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Originally Posted by Trip2TheSky View Post

My best advice is to not go looking, because the right one will walk into your life when the timing is right.

Only when you already have the natural tools to attract somebody.

This advice isn't going to work for everybody.
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Old 3rd November 2017, 8:32 PM   #21
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I found the guy of my dreams. But if we'd been using your criteria, we'd both still be single - especially given that we met at a party.

Perhaps you'd do better if you loosened up a bit.

Last edited by basil67; 3rd November 2017 at 8:34 PM..
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Old 4th November 2017, 9:52 AM   #22
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Reality check: Obviously you will never be a priority, and there is nothing you can do to change that.

So you either accept it and stop complaining, or you move on.
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Old 6th November 2017, 1:31 AM   #23
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[QUOTE=Trip2TheSky;7458268]The man of my dreams just popped up out of nowhere and we got married less than a year into our relationship.


I am 26 and he is 54, but that never mattered to me and seeing as you don't seem superficial or bound to a certain "type" you have limitless opportunities to finding your ideal women.


I am curious. Do you feel the age differnce. Do you both look really far apart in age.
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Old 6th November 2017, 9:06 AM   #24
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The man of my dreams just popped up out of nowhere and we got married less than a year into our relationship.

My best advice is to not go looking, because the right one will walk into your life when the timing is right.
So do you really think that because this just "happened" for you, that it will just magically "happen" for everyone, and they actively shouldn't put in effort to going out and looking for someone they want to be with? It's like you're suggesting that there's only one way to do things, and that because you met someone when you weren't expecting it, that it happened because you weren't expecting it, which we all know is bogus. It was totally circumstantial and you've romanticized it. People meet each other as a result of circumstances, like being in the same place at the same time, or having a mutual friend, not because they were or weren't expecting to meet someone. Whether or not you're looking for someone is totally irrelevant.

I'm happy for you, but let's not pretend "not looking" is the best method of finding a partner, because we know it's not. It's like you hit a half court shot in basketball once, and your advice to basketball players is now to stop practicing lay ups, and to just need to shoot from half court every single time.

What do you mean "when the time is right?" Are you assuming these things are all preordained?

If you want to find a partner, your best odds are by looking for one (not to the point of being obvious or desperation), affording yourself opportunities to cross paths with as many people as you can, looking online, etc -- not by sitting at home watching TV, telling yourself that you're not looking for someone, secretly believing in the fairy tale that your person is just going to magically materialize in front of you.
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Old 8th November 2017, 10:57 PM   #25
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My best advice is to not go looking, because the right one will walk into your life when the timing is right.
That all sounds great but unfortunately life is not like a Hallmark channel movie.
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Old 8th November 2017, 11:33 PM   #26
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I met my ex fiancÚ at a high school dance after pursuing her half of the night. We were together 5 years and virgins when we started. She cheated on me when I was in combat overseas. Came back and chased a girl at work. Got her to move in with me and she too cheated on me and we broke up.

Moved to a different State, got a job and met my wife on a train. I stalked her which in my time was called love, and made a date for the next night. Three weeks later we were engaged. She worked two floors below me in the NYC World Trade Center, was in the same profession as me, is best friends with the girl I had a crush on since I was 14 who was the sister of my friend. She live two blocks away from me; the short blocks not the long ones. She new my sister, I had dated all the girls she knew and she had seen my picture and heard all about me from the other girls in her class and my ex long before we met. She was not looking and I was not looking. We both gave up on that and were working on our careers. Yet we met because for the first time in my life I ran to catch a train during rush hour when they were leaving the station every 10 minutes.

I looked at her and she smiled at me. I followed her home which today is called stalking. I hid in my car and followed her after she left her house. I asked her for a date and three weeks later we were engaged. Last month was our 45th wedding anniversary. Seems that life goes that way for me. I get the good jobs when I am not looking for them. A call out of the blue, tell them I am not interested. They call again and again until I finally give them a salary number to scare them away and they say yes. Better yet when I see the President of the corporation he quoted a salary $25K more than the bloated one I asked for to get them to leave me alone.

I often comment that we go through life like busy bees but in fact we are just keeping busy waiting for things to happen to us. It is like when I need to hire someone. I run ads, list online and on our website and yet we never find anyone that way. It is usually a cousin of an employee or someone that heard we were looking. Yet we do the same thing each time just waiting for the new employee to find us. Same with women.
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Old 9th November 2017, 8:18 AM   #27
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She may be the woman of your dreams but you are not the man of her dreams.

If she really wanted to leave her job she would. If she really wanted to date you, she'd find time. Yes, she is busy but lots of people are busy. When I met my husband I had a FT Job (just opened my own business), a PT job, & I served on 3 boards of trustees, plus I was the caregiver for my elderly parents. Busy people know how to make time & prioritize for what they see as important.

If this woman is willing to meet you again, go. Talk to her. Enjoy the date but stop pressing her to define things. It's too early.
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Old 9th November 2017, 10:24 AM   #28
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She may be the woman of your dreams but you are not the man of her dreams.

If she really wanted to leave her job she would. If she really wanted to date you, she'd find time. Yes, she is busy but lots of people are busy. When I met my husband I had a FT Job (just opened my own business), a PT job, & I served on 3 boards of trustees, plus I was the caregiver for my elderly parents. Busy people know how to make time & prioritize for what they see as important.

If this woman is willing to meet you again, go. Talk to her. Enjoy the date but stop pressing her to define things. It's too early.
This thread is old story.

The admins merged two different threads of mine for some reason. Theres the title of one thread and the content of the other, but i was debating two different things.
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Old 10th November 2017, 7:04 AM   #29
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So do you really think that because this just "happened" for you, that it will just magically "happen" for everyone, and they actively shouldn't put in effort to going out and looking for someone they want to be with? It's like you're suggesting that there's only one way to do things, and that because you met someone when you weren't expecting it, that it happened because you weren't expecting it, which we all know is bogus. It was totally circumstantial and you've romanticized it. People meet each other as a result of circumstances, like being in the same place at the same time, or having a mutual friend, not because they were or weren't expecting to meet someone. Whether or not you're looking for someone is totally irrelevant.

I'm happy for you, but let's not pretend "not looking" is the best method of finding a partner, because we know it's not. It's like you hit a half court shot in basketball once, and your advice to basketball players is now to stop practicing lay ups, and to just need to shoot from half court every single time.

What do you mean "when the time is right?" Are you assuming these things are all preordained?

If you want to find a partner, your best odds are by looking for one (not to the point of being obvious or desperation), affording yourself opportunities to cross paths with as many people as you can, looking online, etc -- not by sitting at home watching TV, telling yourself that you're not looking for someone, secretly believing in the fairy tale that your person is just going to magically materialize in front of you.
People just love trotting out the "Oh you'll meet someone when you're not looking" line, they mean well but mostly it is just a kind (yet lazy) way to dismiss your lament and end the conversation without hurting your feelings because anyone with some common sense knows that unless you are extremely fortunate you have to put as much work into finding your 'soul mate' (well men do, anyway) as you would into your career. I feel bad for the people who hear this advice and actually listen to it and believe that the love of their life is going to ride in on a unicorn while they just watch TV and pick the fluff out of their navel.
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Old 10th November 2017, 7:23 AM   #30
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The simple truth is that any woman who wants to be with you will find the time. Anyone who says they are too busy just isn't all that into you, but that is not such a nice way to reject someone.

The best way to find the woman of your dreams is to stop worrying about uninterested women.
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