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Should I continue being friends with this women?


In Search Of... Having a hard time forming friendships or finding companions, lovers, or associates? Is someone pursuing an unwelcome relationship with you? Talk about your experiences here.

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Old 1st November 2017, 12:12 PM   #16
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So what do you want to hear from us?

We are all telling you pretty much the same thing you but you're finding all sorts of excuses. You want to pack it in or take a chance? It's your call.

You might crash and burn with this girl but it might be amazing. You'll never know unless you try for something.

Not sure what more to tell you.
Gotcha. But why was she not as affectionate the day after we feel asleep together?

Me her and her sister were hungover laying on her couch bed all day watching tv and she was in the middle..her sister asked her to move closer to me so she'd have some space and she refused.
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Old 1st November 2017, 12:15 PM   #17
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Gotcha. But why was she not as affectionate the day after we feel asleep together?

Me her and her sister were hungover laying on her couch bed all day watching tv and she was in the middle..her sister asked her to move closer to me so she'd have some space and she refused.
Based on your feedback so far, you seem to have a similar level of ambivalence. Maybe she is asking herself the very same question? Why didn't he go for it?

There is only one way to find out.
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Old 1st November 2017, 12:18 PM   #18
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Based on your feedback so far, you seem to have a similar level of ambivalence. Maybe she is asking herself the very same question? Why didn't he go for it?

There is only one way to find out.
Her bday is Thursday And bday party Friday..maybe I'll wish her a happy bday in a real intimate telling her how much she means to me. and then when I see her on her bday be more open.
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Old 1st November 2017, 12:32 PM   #19
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Her bday is Thursday And bday party Friday..maybe I'll wish her a happy bday in a real intimate telling her how much she means to me. and then when I see her on her bday be more open.
That's a good start. Have you been on an actual date yet? I think that step would make a difference.
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Old 1st November 2017, 12:35 PM   #20
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That's a good start. Have you been on an actual date yet? I think that step would make a difference.
We've hung out at a bar by ourselves it wasnt an official date.
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Old 1st November 2017, 12:54 PM   #21
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We've hung out at a bar by ourselves it wasnt an official date.
Yes, a date would be the next step, IMHO. Asking for it you will likely get the answer you are looking for.
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Old 1st November 2017, 1:08 PM   #22
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Buy her flowers for her birthday. They are a BF-y type gift but not permanent like jewelry.
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Old 1st November 2017, 1:15 PM   #23
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Buy her flowers for her birthday. They are a BF-y type gift but not permanent like jewelry.
Was thinking of that..if she doesn't like me like that then that could make things pretty awkward at her party though.
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Old 1st November 2017, 1:43 PM   #24
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Part of me thinks sending flowers could backfire and that the signs she showed might mean she's not into me like that and she might feel annoyed by it

BUT in the end I don't want to live with regret and not knowing if she was ever into me.

So even if she rejects me at least I shot my shot and did everything I could.and let her know how I feel about her.
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Old 1st November 2017, 1:54 PM   #25
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You mentioned divorce but I'm still curious about your ages?

I know I ask this a lot but I often feel it's an important factoid and helps when offering up some insight and advice.
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Old 1st November 2017, 2:04 PM   #26
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You mentioned divorce but I'm still curious about your ages?

I know I ask this a lot but I often feel it's an important factoid and helps when offering up some insight and advice.
We're both 37.
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Old 1st November 2017, 2:28 PM   #27
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We're both 37.
Hmm...

I have to admit you're much older than I thought. I would have pegged you mid to late twenties from reading your posts.

In that case, stop tip toeing around and just straight up ask the girl out already. You're both too old to be playing footsies. As the man, who is clear about YOUR feelings, you should be the one to make the first move and see how she responds.

Good luck.
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Old 1st November 2017, 2:44 PM   #28
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Hmm...

I have to admit you're much older than I thought. I would have pegged you mid to late twenties from reading your posts.

In that case, stop tip toeing around and just straight up ask the girl out already. You're both too old to be playing footsies. As the man, who is clear about YOUR feelings, you should be the one to make the first move and see how she responds.

Good luck.
It's a tricky situation because she is an ex of someone in my social circle. So I've been a little more hesitant.

Can't I send the flowers first and see how she reacts? If her response is awkward or blah about the flowers I'd already have my answer. If not I'll go for it.
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Old 2nd November 2017, 12:57 AM   #29
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My first instinc is to day walk away. Make her chase you. You just go about your life.

Find a hobby or a new woman and tell hr about it and if she is into you. She will fight for your attention.
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Old 2nd November 2017, 1:07 AM   #30
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It's a tricky situation because she is an ex of someone in my social circle. So I've been a little more hesitant.
You said it's been a few years since their divorce. I think that's a reasonable and respectful amount of time to wait to try to date her. If your guy friend has a problem with it, he'll just have to deal. She's an independent human being who can make her own decisions, and she's not off-limits for the rest of her life just because you're friends with him.

But you need to stop being timid about this because she's sent you plenty of signals. Even if she was just flirting with you (heavily) because you're "safe" or whatever, she's not going to be shocked or offended that you make a move on her. It might make things a little awkward if she rejects you, but it's better than your current situation.

Just ask her out on a date.
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