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Should I continue being friends with this women?


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Old 1st November 2017, 11:24 AM   #1
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Should I continue being friends with this women?

So my two friends got divorced a few years ago..by the end of the relationship I was closer to the girl then the guy but because of some dumb unwritten guy code and because I was friends with the guy first I felt I had to be loyal to my guy friend who I don't even like that much.

After a few months where my guy friend failed to return my calls I said screw it and reached out to the girl because she was reaching out to me where he didn't seem to care much about our friendship.

Fast forward a year later to a few months ago she reaches out to me to hangout so I do.

We hit it off well like always but she seems to be flirty with me..holding my hand at bars telling me she loves more then anyone else etc. so I start to get feelings for her but know it's a tricky situation.

Then one day I go to her house along with her sister and sisters friend.shes flirting with me there a lot then she tells me and her sisters and friend to sleep over and specifically tells me to sleep with her on her bed.

We never make it to the bed because of how late it is. On her couch bed she laid on my stomach and fell asleep.

After that she seemed to distance herself from the flirting showing me pics of guys on dating sites asking my opinions etc

So this whole thing had me confused. I love her as a person but two reasons why it's tough for me to continue the friendship.

1. I do have feelings for her so seeing her with other guys would hurt me.

2. I feel she's led me on. Would a true friend flirt like that and play with my emotions? Part of me feels like she's using me for companionship and afffection.
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Old 1st November 2017, 11:27 AM   #2
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She gave you the green light and you choked. Now it is up to you to show her that you want to be more than friends.
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Old 1st November 2017, 11:30 AM   #3
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She gave you the green light and you choked. Now it is up to you to show her that you want to be more than friends.
How did I choke? She fell asleep on me? I wasn't gonna wake start making out with a women sleeping . Then the next day when we woke up she was showing me pics of people on dating sites already so there was no opening.

We were drinking the night before so maybe it was the alcohol why she was so flirty
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Old 1st November 2017, 11:32 AM   #4
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No you shouldn't stay friends with her. You should call her up & ask her for a date. If she says no, then you put distance in the "friendship" & don't spend as much time with her.
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Old 1st November 2017, 11:33 AM   #5
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I'm not sure you "choked" necessarily nor do I think she's leading you on either. You're both in this weird limbo between friendship and feelings and no one seems to be addressing the pink elephant in the room.

If you like this girl and want something more than just friendship then you need to make it abundantly clear to her that you want more.

Why not just ask her out on a date already?
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Old 1st November 2017, 11:35 AM   #6
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No you shouldn't stay friends with her. You should call her up & ask her for a date. If she says no, then you put distance in the "friendship" & don't spend as much time with her.
Don't you think the fact that sheets showing me pics of guys on dating sites the following day is a sign she was already trying to give me the essays that the night prior meant nothing?
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Old 1st November 2017, 11:38 AM   #7
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How did I choke? She fell asleep on me? I wasn't gonna wake start making out with a women sleeping . Then the next day when we woke up she was showing me pics of people on dating sites already so there was no opening.

We were drinking the night before so maybe it was the alcohol why she was so flirty
You wrote that she was flirty before, did you flirt back? How did you react when she told you to sleep in her bed? Maybe you just omitted it, but how did you act?
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Old 1st November 2017, 11:38 AM   #8
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Don't you think the fact that sheets showing me pics of guys on dating sites the following day is a sign she was already trying to give me the essays that the night prior meant nothing?
Not necessarily. She could be testing you to see your reaction. Women can be weird that way.
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Old 1st November 2017, 11:39 AM   #9
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She also refuses to let me pay for things and wants to split things..if she has romantic feelings wouldn't she let me play?
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Old 1st November 2017, 11:41 AM   #10
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She also refuses to let me pay for things and wants to split things..if she has romantic feelings wouldn't she let me play?
Dude...just ask her out already. You will know for sure one way or another if she's into you.

GO FOR IT ALREADY.
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Old 1st November 2017, 11:41 AM   #11
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You wrote that she was flirty before, did you flirt back? How did you react when she told you to sleep in her bed? Maybe you just omitted it, but how did you act?
I've told her how much I love her but maybe she think it's platonic way.

Thing is it's a tricky situation because it is my friends ex wife and while I'm not crazy about him he's still somewhat in my social circle though I barely see him.

She had to know that going in so I'd hope she'd give me some leeway.
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Old 1st November 2017, 11:41 AM   #12
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After that she seemed to distance herself from the flirting showing me pics of guys on dating sites asking my opinions etc
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Don't you think the fact that sheets showing me pics of guys on dating sites the following day is a sign she was already trying to give me the essays that the night prior meant nothing?
When she asked you about the other guys she was trying to make you jealous so you would say, don't date them, date me.

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She also refuses to let me pay for things and wants to split things..if she has romantic feelings wouldn't she let me play?
She wasn't sure if it was a date or friends. She didn't want to be beholden. Make sure she knows this ask is for a date.
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Old 1st November 2017, 11:43 AM   #13
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Dude...just ask her out already. You will know for sure one way or another if she's into you.

GO FOR IT ALREADY.
Last time I hung out with her we were walking with another couple down the street and we kinda reached for each other's hands to hold at least I thought so I reached for her hand but then she pulled away from me.

Kinda feel like she's not into me like that if that was her reaction
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Old 1st November 2017, 11:45 AM   #14
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Then talk to her about it.

Maybe she flirted because she thought you were "safe" & would never respond to her flirting. Now that you have, she may be embarrassed. In that case, you still can't be friends with her.

The only one who can answer these Qs for you is her.
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Old 1st November 2017, 11:46 AM   #15
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Last time I hung out with her we were walking with another couple down the street and we kinda reached for each other's hands to hold at least I thought so I reached for her hand but then she pulled away from me.

Kinda feel like she's not into me like that if that was her reaction
So what do you want to hear from us?

We are all telling you pretty much the same thing you but you're finding all sorts of excuses. You want to pack it in or take a chance? It's your call.

You might crash and burn with this girl but it might be amazing. You'll never know unless you try for something.

Not sure what more to tell you.
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