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Not a potential?


In Search Of... Having a hard time forming friendships or finding companions, lovers, or associates? Is someone pursuing an unwelcome relationship with you? Talk about your experiences here.

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  • 3 Post By d0nnivain
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Old 29th October 2017, 9:46 AM   #1
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Not a potential?

So this is a long distance potential. He flew over to meet up with me in my town. We spent three days exploring the town (nothing sleazy). My feelings towards him was rather positive. Until when we got to the first dinner, he mentioned he had a ex-Thai girlfriend who's successful etc etc but didnt talk to him for months and they broke up. Now he got back he is still learning Thai in hope that he could move to Thailand someday (which I guess possibly get a wife too). But he still texts me on and off.

Am I a reject or backup girl in this situation?
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Old 29th October 2017, 10:10 AM   #2
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You are a back-up . . . a fantasy . . . a pleasant distraction to pass the time until he can achieve his real goal.
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Old 29th October 2017, 10:20 AM   #3
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Originally Posted by youdunsay View Post
So this is a long distance potential. He flew over to meet up with me in my town. We spent three days exploring the town (nothing sleazy). My feelings towards him was rather positive. Until when we got to the first dinner, he mentioned he had a ex-Thai girlfriend who's successful etc etc but didnt talk to him for months and they broke up. Now he got back he is still learning Thai in hope that he could move to Thailand someday (which I guess possibly get a wife too). But he still texts me on and off.
Am I a reject or backup girl in this situation?
Why would he tell you these things if you were a backup? Nobody of any intelligence would provide this information to you.

Listen... learning a foreign language to pick up girls is stupid. It's certainly stupid to learn Thai for this reason... as the vast majority of Thai women who are interested in guys from other countries learn English or Italain or whatever kind of guy they want. Thai can however be a very good language to know if you want to make money.

The overall point is that the guy likely has an ex/gf that he is still a bit stuck on. This will fade quickly if he likes you.... slowly if he is more ambivalent about you.
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Old 29th October 2017, 4:51 PM   #4
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I don't think it's going anywhere because he is moving to Thailand and seems lukewarm with communication. Keep looking elsewhere
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Old 29th October 2017, 4:54 PM   #5
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Sorry, I'm a bit confused. You're long distance but he also wants to move to Thailand... where is each of you from again?
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Old 29th October 2017, 6:55 PM   #6
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I'm from Singapore, not Thailand.
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Old 30th October 2017, 2:38 AM   #7
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Originally Posted by youdunsay View Post
I'm from Singapore, not Thailand.
Were you hoping that he would move to Singapore instead, then? How were you imagining your "relationship" would proceed?

I wouldn't put much hope in this man to be honest, but I'm not really sure how him learning Thai and having a Thai ex-girlfriend was the straw that broke the camel's back.
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Old 30th October 2017, 3:54 AM   #8
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I don't think you are a back up.
Since he wants to live there, it is normal to learn the language. And that's the obvious thing. Thus, if you want to take it further with him, you might consider of moving to Thai and live there.
Just let it go naturally for a bit more time. Good luck anyway.
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Old 30th October 2017, 6:33 AM   #9
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I'm sorry, but this whole post confuses me. You are in Singapore. He has an old girlfriend in Thailand he's going to learn the language and mover there to get back? Where does he live?

It just sounds to me like you would be better served trying to find someone to date in your own country.
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Old 11th November 2017, 8:16 AM   #10
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Pardon me for re-igniting this thread. I kind of need a closure to understand how guys actually reject girls. So I tried to keep the text conversation alive with the not-a-potential and we talked about growing personal finance. He wrote "Good luck" and in the next few lines with "Tell me how it goes with xxxx". This basically means that he's not interested to know anything about me right now isn't it?
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Old 11th November 2017, 8:21 AM   #11
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Yes, that is exactly what it means: he's not interested. He never was. You were fighting a losing up hill battle trying to stay in touch. Stop wasting your time & energy on this guy. He does not return your interest.
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Old 11th November 2017, 9:32 AM   #12
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Originally Posted by d0nnivain View Post
You are a back-up . . . a fantasy . . . a pleasant distraction to pass the time until he can achieve his real goal.
Couldnt be said better.

You meet him and he cannot shut up about the thai thing, you were clearly an entertainment.

Look at the bright side, its him who wasted money traveling and not you.

Last edited by warp123; 11th November 2017 at 9:43 AM..
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