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Frustrated with dating


In Search Of... Having a hard time forming friendships or finding companions, lovers, or associates? Is someone pursuing an unwelcome relationship with you? Talk about your experiences here.

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Old 27th October 2017, 11:29 AM   #31
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I have experienced a fair bit of that type of behaviour lately on OLD too, but from men. I think the longer people are on OLD the ruder they get! And possibly with those in their 20s, that is all they have ever done, so they are the rudest and most inconsiderate of all. Im also a slim youthful 40s and it is so depressing meeting men my age, overweight, badly dressed, clear drinking problems (red noses etc). Add education, intelligence and chemistry to the compatibility mix and its like looking for a needle in a haystack. Maybe try women in their mid to late 30s? Problem there is a good number of them want babies and are seeing it slip away. So that is something to be aware of if you do not want more children, be upfront about that as it is not fair to date a woman who wants kids at that age if you really do not.
I am in my late 40s, fit/athletic/toned, hi energy, background in cancer research, programming, creative, only drinks wine every once in a while...BUT not of average height. Believe me, I cannot find the same in the female gender where I am.

I am with you. A NEEDLE IN A HAYSTACK is exactly what I'm looking for. Things are looking so slim that I am considering LDR with caution.
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Old 27th October 2017, 2:56 PM   #32
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At the end of the day, you're a 45 year old man.
Just recently, I joined site. 54+ year old men are flirting and sending me messages. At 33, I can't imagine where they're getting the balls from to think that I'd be interested.

I get the impression that older men get on OLDs looking for smoking hot mid 20 year ols. The reality is that you're probably going to get women going after your money or daddy issues/draa with that kind of age gap..

I say try to be realistic about what you're wanting. You can't have a young super model and expect her life to be secure and stable, for her to emotionally available to invest in a serious relationship with you. If you're 45, date in your age range. Those are the women who will be looking for something long-term. If you're not finding these women attractive then.. It sounds like you better put your seat belt on and get ready for the roller coaster with the young hotties!
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Old 27th October 2017, 3:09 PM   #33
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California is the land of eternal youth. I get that the Midwest doesn't hold much sway & you probably can't just relocate but can you branch out geographically just a little bit? Instead of LA proper what about La Jolla or Pacific Palisades? Palm Springs? San Diego?


LeTip & BNI are probably too structured for good social networking but consider asking any older folks you meet if they have daughters or younger sisters they could introduce you to. Hunt up a straight up business card exchange event. It's a bit more like the bar scene in terms of flow of people but it is not quite so meat market-y.
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Old 27th October 2017, 4:01 PM   #34
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OLD is utter trash.
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Old 27th October 2017, 4:08 PM   #35
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While at dinner I was talking about a photo shoot I had that day for work. I mentioned I needed a few additional head shots and she offered to come over to my place after dinner to take them for me. It didn't take long for one thing to lead to another. The laptop was only mentioned AFTER sex.

And to reiterate, the Swedish girl never stated she is looking for a guy to marry for a green card. The thought just immediately entered my mind after so many terrible experiences in recent weeks.
Charming first date convo material. I don't think your standards are too high,man, they're too low! Are meeting any girls offline too? Might have better luck that way
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Old 27th October 2017, 5:05 PM   #36
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Oh dear!

You come across sounding very entitled.
You're 45, the max you could shave off is 10 years, if others give you more than then they're being polite or are just going along with things for a giggle because your attitude comes across.

The point is if you are all that and a bag of chips then women of any age would be like flies to...... around you and want to be with you.
There is a reason they are not doing this.

Re: Green card girl, you mentioned it but you sound keen and are meeting her again - what the hell for if you say you are now paranoid about it?!!?
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Old 27th October 2017, 10:13 PM   #37
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just keep on keepin on brother, that's all you can do. OLD makes it so much easier to find potentials; there will be another to come around every day. Eventually you'll hit the jackpot. Other than that I'd say just keep your wits about you, be a chill dude and keep your eyes open while on the job site. Put yourself out there as much as you can.

Also, nice hotel bars ... on weeknights you'll get out of towners show up for a quick drink. Maybe you could meet someone there who's not jaded by the entertainment industry lifestyle?
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Old 27th October 2017, 10:52 PM   #38
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California is the land of eternal youth. I get that the Midwest doesn't hold much sway & you probably can't just relocate but can you branch out geographically just a little bit? Instead of LA proper what about La Jolla or Pacific Palisades? Palm Springs? San Diego?
Surely you jest. I won't even date someone in Burbank as it's too far. And the other gender feels the same way. Nobody in LA dates more than 10 miles way unless they are masochistic. La Jolla or Palm Springs is a joke...

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Originally Posted by d0nnivain View Post
LeTip & BNI are probably too structured for good social networking but consider asking any older folks you meet if they have daughters or younger sisters they could introduce you to. Hunt up a straight up business card exchange event. It's a bit more like the bar scene in terms of flow of people but it is not quite so meat market-y.
I don't go to LeTip to date. I go there to make money and it works well.
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Old 27th October 2017, 10:57 PM   #39
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Oh dear!

You come across sounding very entitled.
You're 45, the max you could shave off is 10 years, if others give you more than then they're being polite or are just going along with things for a giggle because your attitude comes across.

The point is if you are all that and a bag of chips then women of any age would be like flies to...... around you and want to be with you.
There is a reason they are not doing this.

Re: Green card girl, you mentioned it but you sound keen and are meeting her again - what the hell for if you say you are now paranoid about it?!!?
It's never been an issue IRL. It only comes up with OLD because you need to list your age. I have a daughter with a woman who was 26 when we met and I was 41. We were together 3 years and lived together 2 years. She wasn't being polite or going along for giggles...
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Old 27th October 2017, 11:23 PM   #40
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It's never been an issue IRL. It only comes up with OLD because you need to list your age. I have a daughter with a woman who was 26 when we met and I was 41. We were together 3 years and lived together 2 years. She wasn't being polite or going along for giggles...
right on dude, age is JUST a number if you keep yourself fit and are successful. Now, the kid thing ..... yeeeah.....that makes it tough-er. I know.
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Old 28th October 2017, 9:27 AM   #41
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Maybe we have different standards. When I visit my relatives in Ohio, Minnesota, and Wisconsin, all I see is the obesity and opioid epidemic in full force. Outside of Minneapolis or Chicago, it seems like really slim pickings..
This is one thing that I'll admit that I have struggled with in dating. I can find something attractive in most women but I obesity is a huge turn-off for me. I don't need a woman to be a super fit or athletic in order to be attracted to them but I have my fair share of dates where the woman was far heavier than her profile pictures. One woman was at least fifty plus pounds heavier; I didn't even recognize her.

And, drug and alcohol abuse around here is through the roof. People just can't seem to have a good time unless they are sloshed.
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Old 28th October 2017, 9:42 AM   #42
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Surely you jest. I won't even date someone in Burbank as it's too far. And the other gender feels the same way. Nobody in LA dates more than 10 miles way unless they are masochistic. La Jolla or Palm Springs is a joke...

I don't go to LeTip to date. I go there to make money and it works well.
I understand that LeTip is about making money. I have been to the meetings. What I'm saying is there are other business networking groups & events where business is not the primary draw. I actually met my husband at one of those & I got more then one date through somebody I met at a Chamber of Commerce event.

Being from the other coast & having driven in LA traffic, I understand the convenience of the geographical restrictions but since you are complaining about the flakey chicks in the entertainment industry in LA proper you may have to bite bullet & look in the suburbs for a more suitable companion.
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Old 29th October 2017, 6:46 AM   #43
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I feel sorry that your online dating experience is leaving you frustrated -at the same time, just wanted to throw a reminder that not all foreigners are dating random people off the internet just to get a green card, though. Maybe she really only likes you because of who you are. I'm a 35-year-old woman from Italy on a temporary visa who's dating (or trying to lol) men in NYC and I can assure you that no green card *hope* will make me lower my standards or date people I'm not interested in. That's just a ridiculous cliché.
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Old 29th October 2017, 2:43 PM   #44
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The funny thing is, I am in late 30s (so too old for OP) and my upper age limit on OLD is 44. I dated a 44 yo separated guy this year (that was the oldest guy I ever dated) and my friends all thought he was too old for me

You may find an occasional 20 something that will date you but majority would simply not go that old unless they want something from you. I have quite few friends in their 20s and the oldest they date is early 30s, with a strong preference for under 30. I am not surprised that you are having problems at all.

I am sorry but I have never in my life seen a 45yo that looks 26. Time to take a proper look in the mirror
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Old 29th October 2017, 4:29 PM   #45
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The funny thing is, I am in late 30s (so too old for OP) and my upper age limit on OLD is 44. I dated a 44 yo separated guy this year (that was the oldest guy I ever dated) and my friends all thought he was too old for me

You may find an occasional 20 something that will date you but majority would simply not go that old unless they want something from you. I have quite few friends in their 20s and the oldest they date is early 30s, with a strong preference for under 30. I am not surprised that you are having problems at all.

I am sorry but I have never in my life seen a 45yo that looks 26. Time to take a proper look in the mirror
You asked me what my upper age limit was and I answered you directly that I had none. So why continue to harp on the age thing? You're making an assumption that I have a delusional self image of my age, which I suppose is understandable, but would you at least consider the possibility you are wrong? Almost every single person I met who has tried to guess my age is 15-20 years off. When I date in IRL, I attract women much younger than me.
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