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Her ex was back


In Search Of... Having a hard time forming friendships or finding companions, lovers, or associates? Is someone pursuing an unwelcome relationship with you? Talk about your experiences here.

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Old 24th October 2017, 12:24 AM   #1
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Her ex was back

I've been working with her since May. She's not my typical type. She's more feminine than what I'm used to and I tend to associate that with being high maintenance. I started to get interested in her mostly because of her personality. She always seems calm. I like the way she speaks. Now just from the work banter I know she's single but I'm not sure how long she's been single. Anyways I've been thinking about asking her out. I don't really like to date someone at work but I will if I think it's a good match for me. The big problem ex paying her a visit.

I'm working near her and I noticed she got tense. I seen a guy standing in line and I figured maybe she was be attracted to him. The guy didn't even look at her and she didn't say a word to him. I only found it was her ex from another woman there. I don't know if they had a bad break up or what their history was. I'm concerned that he's back in there only to think about asking her out again. From that lack of exchange that had should I be worried or is it safe for me to make a move for her now?
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Old 24th October 2017, 12:27 AM   #2
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You won't know until you try. Just ask her out and see.

If you try to get information indirectly or from other people, it just makes you look like a creep.

Be direct.
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Old 25th October 2017, 9:40 PM   #3
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I think the potential risk outweighs the potential reward in this case. I'm already kind of seeing a couple of other women but I want to take it slow and maybe get some other back ups. I'd definitely ask her out even though there's the potential for an awkward workplace if the relationship were to go sour. That's a risk I can tolerate. However, the way the ex showed up and the odd lack of exchange could mean trouble either way. She might be in love with him and wouldn't be able open to another relationship. Even if she not's interested he might be after her and if I'm in the picture he might get jealous and cause trouble. It was a strange exchange and there's probably some deep feelings involved but I never seen an exchange like that so I don't really have any experience to try and make a guess what's was going on. If I could tell by their body language that neither was interested I'd definitely ask her.
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Old 27th October 2017, 4:46 PM   #4
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That is why one can say that we should have a break among relationships. Even when we don't love our ex, we should take a break to fresh our mind and forget. We need a time after breaking.
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Old 27th October 2017, 5:51 PM   #5
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Well, yes. This is why you avoid dating girls recently out of break ups, especially if you dont know the details. AVOID.
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Old 27th October 2017, 8:35 PM   #6
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Sorry to be cynical but 99% of the times an ex paying you a visit means a hookup. With my last ex we'd be talking on the phone for a couple of hours explaining how nothing physical will ever happen, get annoyed we've been on the phone too long, meet and have some wild sex. Every. F*cking. Time.

I personally do not get close to someone recently out of a relationship because there is a pretty high chance this is going on in the background even if they have zero intent to get back together.


Quote:
Originally Posted by Bantosm View Post
I've been working with her since May. She's not my typical type. She's more feminine than what I'm used to and I tend to associate that with being high maintenance. I started to get interested in her mostly because of her personality. She always seems calm. I like the way she speaks. Now just from the work banter I know she's single but I'm not sure how long she's been single. Anyways I've been thinking about asking her out. I don't really like to date someone at work but I will if I think it's a good match for me. The big problem ex paying her a visit.

I'm working near her and I noticed she got tense. I seen a guy standing in line and I figured maybe she was be attracted to him. The guy didn't even look at her and she didn't say a word to him. I only found it was her ex from another woman there. I don't know if they had a bad break up or what their history was. I'm concerned that he's back in there only to think about asking her out again. From that lack of exchange that had should I be worried or is it safe for me to make a move for her now?
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Old 27th October 2017, 10:56 PM   #7
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Cookiesandough View Post
Well, yes. This is why you avoid dating girls recently out of break ups, especially if you dont know the details. AVOID.
That's the thing I don't know if it was a recent break up. I kind of got the impression that they hadn't been associated with each for awhile. I had bad breakups and I had no problem looking at or speaking with my ex days afterwards.
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Old 27th October 2017, 11:09 PM   #8
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Quote:
Originally Posted by No_Go View Post
Sorry to be cynical but 99% of the times an ex paying you a visit means a hookup. With my last ex we'd be talking on the phone for a couple of hours explaining how nothing physical will ever happen, get annoyed we've been on the phone too long, meet and have some wild sex. Every. F*cking. Time.

I personally do not get close to someone recently out of a relationship because there is a pretty high chance this is going on in the background even if they have zero intent to get back together.
Again, I don't know if it was a recent breakup. Maybe he moved away and she didn't expect to see him again. He may have moved back to the area and that would explain why it seemed so awkward. I don't really know. I didn't have much to go on. Maybe someone had a similar experience and explain what is going on. If I knew she wasn't interested and it was chance meeting I'd still be interested in asking her out.
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