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Why Meeting People Is So Hard


In Search Of... Having a hard time forming friendships or finding companions, lovers, or associates? Is someone pursuing an unwelcome relationship with you? Talk about your experiences here.

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Old 22nd October 2017, 11:09 AM   #1
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Why Meeting People Is So Hard

I don't think some people realize how hard it is for some people to meet others to date. Finding someone you like, who happens to be single and wants the same type of relationship you do, and also happens to like you back can be hard for a lot of people.

If you're the nerdy introverted type who'd rather sit on the couch and play video game then go out to "da club" with your homedogs, then it's harder to meet people to date because you're not the type who goes out much. Why would I want to go to a bar and try to pickup girls and get rejected in favor of tall buff dudes, when I can have way more fun playing League of Legends in the comfort of my own home? I don't care what anybody says, rejection hurts. (especially when it's in favor of tall buff dudes)

And let's just say you're in school and you're in a classroom of 25 people. Well chances are, there may only be 1 or 2 girls in that class whom you're attracted to. If you were to strike up a conversation with them, chances are low that they happen to be single and are attracted to you enough to want to go on a date with you.

There's always the option of online dating, but online dating is a destroyer of confidence for many average men who don't resemble a greek god. Unlike decently attractive women who can virtually match with every single guy who are ready to have sex at moments notice, most guys will have to swipe right again and again and again and again and again and again -gasp- and STILL only get anywhere from 20-50 matches assuming he's swiping right to every girl. And let's just say he messages 20 of these girls, only which half of them respond, and then another half ghost him mid conversation. He asks the remaining 5 girls out on a date, which only 2 of them actually show up to the date. The other 3 flake.

Online dating is a crap hole for men unless you're in the top 10% of male attractiveness.


Especially as you get older and people start getting married off. You think being single at 30 is bad? Trying being a 30 year old dateless virgin who's options are single moms or those looking to settle down. No hating on single moms or those looking to get married, but most people who are starting out in the dating world arne't looking to get married to the first person they see naked.
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Old 22nd October 2017, 2:43 PM   #2
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You're right because no one wants to date someone who wants nothing more in life than to sit and play video games. Give me one good reason why someone would want to date that? Even if you made yourself go out and find one, then once you bring them into your world and they find out all you want to do is play video games like a little kid, they're going to leave. If they wanted a kid, they'd have one. Sorry if this offends you and for what it's worth I'm sure you know this has become an epidemic. But smart people change if what they're doing isn't working, even when it requires some effort.
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Old 22nd October 2017, 3:14 PM   #3
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I've come to the realization that looking in itself is a waste of time. Instead, I'm now just content in the chance I meet someone randomly. My last GF was so terrible it caused me to shut down all online dating, Facebook, etc.
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Old 22nd October 2017, 4:12 PM   #4
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Originally Posted by GuitarGuy7 View Post
And let's just say you're in school and you're in a classroom of 25 people. Well chances are, there may only be 1 or 2 girls in that class whom you're attracted to. [...]
Let's assume there are 15 girls in the class, this means that you are physically attracted to 7% to %15 of the women your age. Yes, that is a big hurdle added to many others. You will have to meet a lot of women.
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Old 22nd October 2017, 4:27 PM   #5
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Let's assume there are 15 girls in the class, this means that you are physically attracted to 7% to %15 of the women your age. Yes, that is a big hurdle added to many others. You will have to meet a lot of women.
For me, I may only find 20-25% of women attractive enough to that I want to date in my age group. That doesn't mean the other 75% are unattractive, it just means that they're not my type physically.


I tend to like short girls with cute faces. That's my absolute ideal.
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Old 22nd October 2017, 4:57 PM   #6
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For me, I may only find 20-25% of women attractive enough to that I want to date in my age group. That doesn't mean the other 75% are unattractive, it just means that they're not my type physically.


I tend to like short girls with cute faces. That's my absolute ideal.
Oh well, at least you're able to pinpoint why you're not finding many women. If you rule out a whole lot of other women on their looks, you're not going to have a lot of luck. Of course this is your prerogative...just make sure you're aware of how much you're limiting yourself.

Also, going to 'da club' to meet girls is not the key to success. You're much more likely to meet women if you go out and do stuff with your mates. Change it so that having fun with your mates is the goal and meeting a woman would be a nice surprise.

Edited to add a shout out to Preraph's comments. If gaming is your idea of fun, you're really going to struggle to connect with women.
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Old 22nd October 2017, 5:24 PM   #7
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This is a classic example of when your looking for a relationship, you wont find it.

I get your looking for a good relationship. everyone is. its how you live you daily life that helps that come to fruition.

my suggestion, start talking with everyone, men and women. make all your interactions positive.Chat with no other motive other than to be engaging, sincere and pleasant. you should be doing this always, but NO MOTIVE!

Live your life, be successful at what you do. she will then appear
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Old 22nd October 2017, 7:44 PM   #8
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Oh well, at least you're able to pinpoint why you're not finding many women. If you rule out a whole lot of other women on their looks, you're not going to have a lot of luck. Of course this is your prerogative...just make sure you're aware of how much you're limiting yourself.[..]
Reminds me of the guy who used the Drake equation, which is normally used to predict contact with alien life, to predict finding his perfect match. It was 1/285,000. (The formula to finding love: Why there's a one in 285,000 chance of meeting your perfect partner | Daily Mail Online)

While this is somewhat facetious, it illustrates rather drastically how combining different criteria can lead to an exponential decline of possible partners.
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Old 22nd October 2017, 8:05 PM   #9
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In other words...settle or have very few to no standards and you have the best chance of finding a relationship. Got it.😉

Ugh...
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Old 22nd October 2017, 8:06 PM   #10
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Originally Posted by GuitarGuy7 View Post
I don't think some people realize how hard it is for some people to meet others to date. Finding someone you like, who happens to be single and wants the same type of relationship you do, and also happens to like you back can be hard for a lot of people.
If you're the nerdy introverted type who'd rather sit on the couch and play video game then go out to "da club" with your homedogs, then it's harder to meet people to date because you're not the type who goes out much. Why would I want to go to a bar and try to pickup girls and get rejected in favor of tall buff dudes, when I can have way more fun playing League of Legends in the comfort of my own home? I don't care what anybody says, rejection hurts. (especially when it's in favor of tall buff dudes)
And let's just say you're in school and you're in a classroom of 25 people. Well chances are, there may only be 1 or 2 girls in that class whom you're attracted to. If you were to strike up a conversation with them, chances are low that they happen to be single and are attracted to you enough to want to go on a date with you..
You have to get over your fear of rejection. It will impede you at every step in life if you don't push through it. You will one day find yourself stuck in a dead end job that you hate... and afraid to leave because failing a job interview is rejection.

Overcoming rejection is one of those things that separates men from women. Most women cannot handle even a tiny bit of rejection. It makes their psyche explode. Men are supposed to learn how to deal with this and not let it effect their confidence or demeanor... which means not taking it personally.

You are not a tall buff dude. You WILL have to work harder. Learn to approach girls on the street, or in a cafe. Chat them up, get their number and try to set a date. When I was 20... I got 36 numbers one day of girls walking around downtown. Of the 36 only 2 responded to my messages, both became dates. Both turned out to really like me. Just 1 day of work meeting girls. Back then I was naive and dumb with no experience. Today I could triple that number.

The thing is that meeting women isn't the skill I learned. I learned how to deal with rejection. I went on to work in sales for 10 years. I made boatloads of money because I have this skill. It helped me start and successfully run my own business... then sell it for double the value. If you can be good at this one thing... dealing with rejection... the rest of life starts to get easy.
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Old 22nd October 2017, 10:07 PM   #11
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Originally Posted by simpleNfit View Post
In other words...settle or have very few to no standards and you have the best chance of finding a relationship. Got it.��

Ugh...
Not quite. Reduce your criteria to those that really matter to you. Don't make it a wishlist.
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Last edited by CptInsano; 22nd October 2017 at 10:13 PM..
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Old 22nd October 2017, 10:25 PM   #12
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I feel for you, that's got to be rough. I honestly don't know how I would have dealt with what you're going through had I found myself there at age 30. But like others have said, video games aren't going to help you meet women. You're going to have to use your idle time to improve yourself and your chances of meeting them.
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Old 22nd October 2017, 10:28 PM   #13
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it's ok to play video games, but you need some type of activity to do outside the house where there are other people. it doesn't have to be at night, it doesn't have to be clubs/drinking. it can be a walking club, a golf group, whatever, just something. you certainly cannot meet someone from your couch (unless online I suppose), so don't feel sorry for yourself. make an effort, that's what you have to do.
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Old 22nd October 2017, 10:53 PM   #14
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I feel for you, that's got to be rough. I honestly don't know how I would have dealt with what you're going through had I found myself there at age 30. But like others have said, video games aren't going to help you meet women. You're going to have to use your idle time to improve yourself and your chances of meeting them.
I'm not 30, i'm 22 lol.

I was just making a point about how much it would probably suck to be a 30 year old virgin.
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Old 23rd October 2017, 2:35 AM   #15
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Oh well, at least you're able to pinpoint why you're not finding many women. If you rule out a whole lot of other women on their looks, you're not going to have a lot of luck. Of course this is your prerogative...just make sure you're aware of how much you're limiting yourself.

Also, going to 'da club' to meet girls is not the key to success. You're much more likely to meet women if you go out and do stuff with your mates. Change it so that having fun with your mates is the goal and meeting a woman would be a nice surprise.

Edited to add a shout out to Preraph's comments. If gaming is your idea of fun, you're really going to struggle to connect with women.

I honestly find the bold ridiculous in the extreme. Its completely not alright for guys to say they don't like unfit obese people its alright to completely exclude someone based on a past time hobby irrespective of their other attributes?
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