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Attracting men by taking and being resistant. thoughts?


In Search Of... Having a hard time forming friendships or finding companions, lovers, or associates? Is someone pursuing an unwelcome relationship with you? Talk about your experiences here.

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Old 20th October 2017, 1:15 PM   #16
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Guys always treat me nice on dates, that's the problem. I can't be mean. When people are nice I have to be nice back. No one has dared touch my shrimp
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Old 20th October 2017, 1:16 PM   #17
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I see it and have experienced it in a different angle.

I think there is a big difference between a woman trying to appear *not too available* and a woman having a life filled with family, friends and hobbies making her not too available.

A woman trying to appear *not too available* is a game player, the other one is an energetic exciting and interesting woman.

A man wants to be with a woman that has her own thing going and won't depend on him for her whole happiness.

When I met my bf I didn't play *not too available* I didn't have to, I am already not too available so I just remained myself.

Once I asked my bf what he liked the most about me he said the fact I am whole without him and that makes him want to be with me. I don't track him down ever, I don't call him asking where he is, I never say things like *who's this and who's that*.
Can I get an AMEN on this?!

If you're having to pretend on any level when it comes to dating and relationships, then perhaps you're not ready to date or be in a relationship.

And that goes for both men and women btw.
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Old 20th October 2017, 1:28 PM   #18
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Guys always treat me nice on dates, that's the problem. I can't be mean. When people are nice I have to be nice back. No one has dared touch my shrimp

I think that's why Italian women are so desired...They are good looking and mean spirited....

TFY
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Old 20th October 2017, 1:36 PM   #19
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lol I think I'm gonna start being really b*chy to guys who show interest in me from now on. Scowl at them and stuff. As a social experiment. It's so out of char for me. Let's just see how this works. Will report back
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Old 20th October 2017, 1:40 PM   #20
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I think that's why Italian women are so desired...They are good looking and mean spirited....

TFY
I knew one who beat her husband repeatedly in public. There could be some truth to the mean aspects. I wouldn't have called her desirable, though.
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Old 20th October 2017, 2:03 PM   #21
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lol I think I'm gonna start being really b*chy to guys who show interest in me from now on. Scowl at them and stuff. As a social experiment. It's so out of char for me. Let's just see how this works. Will report back



It's not something you can fake....It comes from years of beatings with a wooden spoon....

TFY
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Old 20th October 2017, 2:03 PM   #22
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lol I think I'm gonna start being really b*chy to guys who show interest in me from now on. Scowl at them and stuff. As a social experiment. It's so out of char for me. Let's just see how this works. Will report back

So people who show interest in you.....

smh

Please don't tell me you are over 30
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Old 20th October 2017, 2:07 PM   #23
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It's not something you can fake....It comes from years of beatings with a wooden spoon....

TFY
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Old 20th October 2017, 2:29 PM   #24
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Maybe really attractive/charming men are less suspicious?
In regards to a hook-up or long-term FWB arrangement, I agree. But in terms of seeking a potential authentic relationship, I think a very attractive person may be more likely to question their motive.
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Old 20th October 2017, 2:44 PM   #25
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Last edited by Cookiesandough; 20th October 2017 at 2:47 PM..
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Old 20th October 2017, 4:38 PM   #26
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At ground The Rules are about self esteem. They are a trite set of parameters to help people not acquiesce to everything a partner asks for just to avoid being alone. In reality if you want to go on a last minute date with somebody because it sounds fun & interesting, go. The Rules about not accepting last minute dates, ducking phone calls, only going out with a man who asks you on Wednesday for a weekend date are trying to force you to have some self respect which includes respect for your own value & time. Some sniveling person who just agrees to everything because they fear being alone is not attractive. People also value things that cost them something -- money, time, effort etc.


When I was dating, I was so busy I couldn't accept last minute dates because my schedule was already full. If somebody wanted to see me, he needed to make an advanced plan because odds are my calendar was already full. I didn't purposefully look at my phone & not answer because I was playing games. I didn't answer because I was busy. I called back when I had time to pay strict attention to the person who called me. Do you see the difference?
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Old 23rd October 2017, 4:25 PM   #27
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A lot of people write a lot of dating articles, not because there is that much to be said about dating, but because they sell. Take them with a grain of salt.

That said, no one likes a doormat. That doesn't mean you need to play games and pull away, especially if you are having issues with giving a consistent message to guys you date, I wouldn't use this article to encourage that.

But that said, a little attitude in a woman is a good thing IMO.
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Old 24th October 2017, 12:28 AM   #28
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I read this article about how to attract a man.
Thoughts?
I notice when I start pulling back unintentionally, lose interest, or get nervous the guy steps up his interest 100x. But yet when I talk to guys, they don't like it. They say they lose interest if the girl acts this way. It's another one of those gaps between theory and reality. What people think or say they want and what really attracts them?
My thoughts revolve around how emotionally detached you often seem to be. How you frequently come across as both rational and curious. I wonder if you were born this way or it is something you have developed.

There are some unique differences between how the brains of men and women work. However, they are still much more similar than dissimilar. Therefore common dating strategies often employed by men, may often times work just as well if employed by women.

Push/Pull is a psychological strategy that is proven to build attraction. It is one of several dating strategies I would heartily recommend women use.
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Old 24th October 2017, 3:10 AM   #29
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My thoughts revolve around how emotionally detached you often seem to be. How you frequently come across as both rational and curious. I wonder if you were born this way or it is something you have developed.

There are some unique differences between how the brains of men and women work. However, they are still much more similar than dissimilar. Therefore common dating strategies often employed by men, may often times work just as well if employed by women.

Push/Pull is a psychological strategy that is proven to build attraction. It is one of several dating strategies I would heartily recommend women use.
Oh I am quite an emotional person! ) But yes very curious. Thanks for the information
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Old 24th October 2017, 8:06 PM   #30
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wow. whoever wrote that piece needs to find new men. but wait....they can't...'cause...they don't wanna play that **** which explains why they use the term "men" so universally.
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