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I have no real friends anymore


In Search Of... Having a hard time forming friendships or finding companions, lovers, or associates? Is someone pursuing an unwelcome relationship with you? Talk about your experiences here.

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Old 20th October 2017, 5:17 AM   #1
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I have no real friends anymore

Since leaving high school back in 2005 I've lost contact with all of my friends. I mean literally hang out with NO ONE when I go outside. I go to mall alone, bookstore alone, walk around downtown alone. I do everything alone. Now admittedly I don't necessarily see this as a bad thing. I've actually grown accustomed by being by myself. I do whatever I want, whenever I want, how I want for the most part. I have good and very friendly relationships with people at work. I know how to interact with people. But I'm guessing it's not healthy to not have any close friends in my life.


Anyone else have this issue or know of anyone with this? What the hell is wrong with me?
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Old 20th October 2017, 5:29 AM   #2
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Since leaving high school back in 2005 I've lost contact with all of my friends. I mean literally hang out with NO ONE when I go outside. I go to mall alone, bookstore alone, walk around downtown alone. I do everything alone. Now admittedly I don't necessarily see this as a bad thing. I've actually grown accustomed by being by myself. I do whatever I want, whenever I want, how I want for the most part. I have good and very friendly relationships with people at work. I know how to interact with people. But I'm guessing it's not healthy to not have any close friends in my life.


Anyone else have this issue or know of anyone with this? What the hell is wrong with me?
Nothing wrong with you, I am in much the same boat and you can choose to be happy being you or you can try pull yourself and becoming very self conscious. Its great to interact with people and you should whenever possible but I wouldn't beat yourself up about being the way you are.
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Old 20th October 2017, 7:45 AM   #3
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I still have friends, but I find that it takes more and more effort to maintain them. It pretty much started after college, but really was noticeable when people started to build families, and seemed to focus on them exclusively. I still make friends, but I have to make a conscious effort to maintain those relationships.
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Old 20th October 2017, 8:13 AM   #4
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I still have friends, but I find that it takes more and more effort to maintain them. It pretty much started after college, but really was noticeable when people started to build families, and seemed to focus on them exclusively. I still make friends, but I have to make a conscious effort to maintain those relationships.
Agree 100% with on this, have found similar and you can ask yourself "is it me" but actually it isn't its probably just how life changes when people get married have kids etc.


I have always said one needs to enjoy ones own company and others just add to that. I find it almost impossible to make friends.
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Old 20th October 2017, 8:18 AM   #5
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I think as adults it is harder to make friends. In high school and college you are pretty much thrust together with people of your age and, likely, tastes. As an adult you are not forced to be together with anyone, except maybe work. I took a job where I work from home about seven years ago and then realized all of my friends were from work. I still keep in touch with a couple of them, but you're not in the same location every day, so you tend to drift.

There is nothing wrong with you, but IMHO, a couple of good friends are a good idea. I am living with a girlfriend now, so no crippling loneliness or anything like that, but I am in a couple of meetup groups. I would recommend that. My girlfriend and I have made a couple of good friends through a meetup group we are in. But, even if you don't do that, finding a meetup group you like will, at the least, get you out of the house to socialize at least once a month.
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Old 20th October 2017, 10:21 AM   #6
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This is most people's scenario if after a certain age you don't have a family of your own. People's friends are their own kids, spouses, etc.

Married people usually like to tell you that they have friends outside of that, but they really don't. They have acquaintances...

we're living in an age where I question whether anyone knows what the word "friend" really means. If they "friend" every person they've ever seen on Facebook, they look at the list and feel puffed up at how many friends they have.... but they really don't have any.

You're not alone. In this day of social media supposedly connecting us all there are more lonely people than ever according to statistics.
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Old 20th October 2017, 10:58 AM   #7
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Since leaving high school back in 2005 I've lost contact with all of my friends. I mean literally hang out with NO ONE when I go outside. I go to mall alone, bookstore alone, walk around downtown alone. I do everything alone. Now admittedly I don't necessarily see this as a bad thing. I've actually grown accustomed by being by myself. I do whatever I want, whenever I want, how I want for the most part. I have good and very friendly relationships with people at work. I know how to interact with people. But I'm guessing it's not healthy to not have any close friends in my life.
Anyone else have this issue or know of anyone with this? What the hell is wrong with me?
I didn't hang on to my friends either, and I didn't really make new ones. I've got a few guys I go out with from time to time, but nobody close.

I spent a lot of time traveling to other countries alone. I meet people there. I hang out and have a good time, then come home. Usually I stay in touch with the people I meet off and on. I'm kind of happy like that.
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Old 21st October 2017, 6:01 AM   #8
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Originally Posted by real35 View Post
Since leaving high school back in 2005 I've lost contact with all of my friends. I mean literally hang out with NO ONE when I go outside. I go to mall alone, bookstore alone, walk around downtown alone. I do everything alone. Now admittedly I don't necessarily see this as a bad thing. I've actually grown accustomed by being by myself. I do whatever I want, whenever I want, how I want for the most part. I have good and very friendly relationships with people at work. I know how to interact with people. But I'm guessing it's not healthy to not have any close friends in my life.


Anyone else have this issue or know of anyone with this? What the hell is wrong with me?
You don't see it as a bad thing but you're worried? I wouldn't worry too much if you're happy. But if you do want to pursue friendships you're in a very good position to do so if you can interact easily with others (more than I can say for myself!)

About a year ago I also ended up feeling isolated and lonely as I felt like I didn't have many close friends remaining in my city, although it was mostly because of withdrawing thanks to anxiety. Once I got help and threw myself into more social situations I gradually built new friendships. For me it was just a matter of not being afraid to be the annoying person that keeps messaging/calling everyone. I then realised that my version of being annoying is everyone else's version of just keeping in touch (or even feeling loved!)
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Old 21st October 2017, 12:29 PM   #9
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I think that everyone has to still develop the skills to make friends for the rest of your life.

I think just join recreational activities. Let the friendships for from there and keep doing that for life.

Some people are going to fall away. Those that happened for me. It was more of a personality thing.

I still have most of my major friendships. Some I see once a year or at least on the phone.
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Old 22nd October 2017, 11:22 AM   #10
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If you want to make friends, start with your job. If your current job doesn't give you opportunity to make friends, I suggest getting a part-time job or do some activities that you will meet the same people over a long period. Eventually friendship will be develop. All you have to do to make friends is be open-minded, be friendly, and don't try to impress people. Just be natural and share your thoughts and be a good listener. Also maybe you might not realize it, but be aware of your body language, don't slouch and don't stare at people. Stand up straight and be relax. Your body language must match your friendliness. And whenever your co-worker invites you to do something, go do it with them. And regarding your anxiety, don't take things too serious. Just learn to laugh at your situation instead of worrying about how it makes you look. Just have fun. I personally don't like to have too many friends. I have a few close friends and that's perfect.
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Old 28th October 2017, 9:22 AM   #11
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I am going through the same thing right now.
I am trying to make friends actively. Sort of like friend dating.
I recently went to a woman's self defense class. Since I work at a university, I went and met a new friend. I talked and chatted and I got her number.
It was so fun and I texted her and she even told me to keep in touch. I had so much fun, I am thinking of joining my university's karate club.
I'll get a work out, learn to defend myself, and maybe even keep making new friends.
Is there a community college where you can take a class and maybe join some clubs. Yes it might cost some money.

You can also do free activities at a boys and girls club, activities in your local library, join a gym and get a work out buddy, volunteering at a hospital, try meetup, join your school's alumni association (other alumni group you are a part of). There are a ton of ways to make friends.

But you might have to put yourself out there.
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