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How to get her Interested


In Search Of... Having a hard time forming friendships or finding companions, lovers, or associates? Is someone pursuing an unwelcome relationship with you? Talk about your experiences here.

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Old 20th October 2017, 12:13 AM   #1
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How to get her Interested

Hey guys, talking to a girl I met at a party of mine last summer and I need some advice...

So I met a girl at a party of mine last summer and I reached out to her afterwards, we chatted but not much came out of it. I had a hard time telling whether or not she was interested because she was friendly but the convo was less hyped then I would've wanted it to be, and I was headed off to college, so I didn't take it as seriously. I eventually tried to hangout with her in Sep, but I ended up being busy earlier that weekend, and when I tried rescheduling she didn't respond. Ok, failure.

I recently reached out to her again and I apologized, and we're talking again, but I don't feel like I have her hooked if you know what I mean. Again the nice vibes but I feel like I'm the one putting the energy into the convo. How do I turn this around? Perhaps this is a suicide mission, but damn this girl is a catch.
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Old 20th October 2017, 3:27 AM   #2
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Just ask her out on a date. Her answer will tell you a lot, and if the date does end up happening, you'll learn a lot more.
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Old 20th October 2017, 3:40 AM   #3
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Just ask her out on a date. Her answer will tell you a lot, and if the date does end up happening, you'll learn a lot more.
Yep - can't add anything else to this!

Good luck
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Old 20th October 2017, 12:07 PM   #4
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Good job going for it

I applaud your pursuit of this gal. She sounds like a catch. As others have mentioned, have you considered being clear and just ask her out on a date? From there, she should give you a clear answer.

Some guys have to ask multiple times for the girl to say "yes" (then finally they get married. I know of guys who had to do this). But, from my experience and they way I'm wired, if a woman says "no" it means "no" 99% of the time.

But, your call man. You can pursue her until she says no or until your heart can't take it anymore. And being clear with her is where I'd take the relationship from here. Best wishes!
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Old 20th October 2017, 5:34 PM   #5
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If you are at college & she's not at your school, the timing is bad. Don't bother.


Do reach out & possibly hang out when you are back home but otherwise this is unlikely to succeed given the distances.
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Old 22nd October 2017, 12:38 AM   #6
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Originally Posted by lickylicky47 View Post
Hey guys, talking to a girl I met at a party of mine last summer and I need some advice...

So I met a girl at a party of mine last summer and I reached out to her afterwards, we chatted but not much came out of it. I had a hard time telling whether or not she was interested because she was friendly but the convo was less hyped then I would've wanted it to be, and I was headed off to college, so I didn't take it as seriously. I eventually tried to hangout with her in Sep, but I ended up being busy earlier that weekend, and when I tried rescheduling she didn't respond. Ok, failure.

I recently reached out to her again and I apologized, and we're talking again, but I don't feel like I have her hooked if you know what I mean. Again the nice vibes but I feel like I'm the one putting the energy into the convo. How do I turn this around? Perhaps this is a suicide mission, but damn this girl is a catch.
You can't get a girl interested in you. That's not how it works. It'd be nice if you could just push a few buttons and make any girl attracted to you. Unfortunately, real life doesn't work that way. The best way to attract a girl is by being an interesting person.

You say you want to go to college. That's a good start. What are you studying for? What are your goals? Dreams? Passions? What are her goals, dreams, and ambitions? Talk about those things. Share your hobbies, interests, opinions, beliefs, values, anything to keep a convo. going.

Don't worry about whether or not she's interested. It doesn't matter. Validate yourself as an interesting person. If you worry about whether or not she's interested, you lose sight of what makes you interesting in the first place. As a result, she won't be interested in you.

My final piece of advice is to determine whether you're ready for a relationship or not. If you insult and degrade yourself, chances are you need to work on yourself first. Wish you the best of luck.
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Old 22nd October 2017, 5:02 AM   #7
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Invite her out. Just try. I understand why she don't put effort in your convo. She don't know waht do you want. Just have funny convo or something more? In my opinion chatting with guys for several month is boring.
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Old 22nd October 2017, 8:52 AM   #8
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Honestly, she's either interested or she's not, my friend. It doesn't sound like she is so I wouldn't waste anymore energy. You're in college; there's available women every where. So, focus on that and find someone that is interested in you.
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Old 22nd October 2017, 9:32 AM   #9
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You can't force interest.
It just doesn't work that way.

She is into you or not and sorry, but it sounds like she is being friendly/polite and not into you.
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Old 22nd October 2017, 8:14 PM   #10
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Originally Posted by GemmaUK View Post
You can't force interest.
It just doesn't work that way.
She is into you or not and sorry, but it sounds like she is being friendly/polite and not into you.
Yes you can. Believing that you can't do anything to improve yourself or your chances is female thinking. Just sit back and wait for good things to happen to you. That advice is never going to work for average men, because it's for lazy entitled people.

What he should be doing is engaging her in fun and interesting conversation, while subtly displaying high social status.

If he plays his cards right... I would give him a 25% chance of turning this around.
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Old 20th December 2017, 1:50 AM   #11
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We set up a date in November, and I got stood up. TF. I've dropped it since, but damn she's hot. Right move?
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Old 20th December 2017, 1:57 AM   #12
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I did eventually end up setting a date with her in November. I showed up, she never even showed. Total stand up. I'm an attractive guy, but the people we mutually know aren't my biggest fans I suspect. I bet that was an influencing factor. I've gone on dates with plenty of other girls, I've never been stood up before. Since then I haven't said a word to her. She's damn hot though. I would like to pursue her, but at this point, I don't see how she could possibly respect me after setting me up like that. Hell no. Does that give more context?
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Old 20th December 2017, 3:02 AM   #13
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Sometimes 'hot' is a price too high to pay. This is one of those times. Focus on women who like you and, most importantly, respect you and your time. They're out there.
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Old 20th December 2017, 6:09 AM   #14
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She is clearly giving you every indication that she is not interested. Time to move on and focus your attention on the next "hot babe."
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