LoveShack.org Community Forums

Reload this Page LoveShack.org Community Forums > Transitioning > In Search Of...

How to Make Tinder Work For You


In Search Of... Having a hard time forming friendships or finding companions, lovers, or associates? Is someone pursuing an unwelcome relationship with you? Talk about your experiences here.

Like Tree23Likes
Reply
 
LinkBack Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 6th November 2017, 5:13 PM   #31
Established Member
 
RecentChange's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: San Francisco Bay Area
Posts: 3,990
Quote:
Originally Posted by Erik30 View Post
Yeah but they can play around with makeup and lighting (also possibly only using shots from certain angles) to make you look better than you actually are...
I have had some professional photos done (not for dating) - and I look way better in them than real life.

Just playing with lighting, focus, shadows etc they can make images that just don't happen in real life.

As for pro photos for dating.... If it was some head shots that look like they were taken for their career that is one thing - otherwise I would think that they were trying ttoo hard.
RecentChange is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 6th November 2017, 6:02 PM   #32
Established Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2009
Posts: 434
Quote:
Originally Posted by Cookiesandough View Post
I try to keep good posture. Some photos in that set look natural or comfortable but some do not look like she is natural or comfy to me
I see. I know nothing about photography. I just know someone who does it. I am average looking. There are a lot of bots/catfish/scammers on Tinder. They've become smart enough to use avg people. I match with everyone I swipe to my knowledge but I'm a woman so that is no feat. It's not about matches so much as a few of the men being wary to meet at first and we talk about this when we do. I think women and men should do professional pics as long as they don't look too "done" to minimize this and other problems encountered that way
100%?.... a 100% match rate? Your ELO score must be off the charts.

I think maybe you fall into that sweet spot where you are significantly better looking than average, but not to the point of being intimidating. That used to be called "the girl next door" look.

If you are afraid of being labeled as a bot, maybe pick some guys who are friends and run the pictures past them first.

Back when I was in my early 20's... I really had no idea whether I was good looking or not. I took maybe 3 or 4 of my best photos and put them up on this site called HotorNot.com for women to rate me. My first photo got a 5 and I never used it again. I had 2 photos that got 5.8 and 6.1. I'm average on the best of days. If you are curious maybe that website is still around... or something like it.
Cobra_X is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 6th November 2017, 10:16 PM   #33
Established Member
 
Cookiesandough's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2016
Location: USA
Posts: 4,194
Im not sure if its 100. Actually, I highly doubt it. It's not possible. It's just hard to tell because I match with many and sometimes we automatically match or they swipe me after. I just dont recall ever not matching with someone I really wanted to and I am sort of selective. I dont feel there's a good selection online.


I think guys swipe right on everything vaguely resembling female human. I take that back because once I messed up my picture order and had a photo of just my bunny(just my bun)as my main and still got matches/messages. lol. So it doesn't need to be human.

If I choose the pics I like, I get called catfish/bot by someone...It's inevitable. Doesn't matter if it's professional or not. I just noticed it was worse when it looked like my pics looked too 'forced'. I don't know, may it's just some weird compliment guys like to give women on online dating, like "you're too cute to be here",? but it annoys me. doubt it.there are better ways to flatter/appeal to ego without having someone need to defend their existence. When we meet, when they bring it up it's a turn off.

I have heard of that HotorNot site and I wouldn't do it!!!lol It seems so vain. Also, I wouldnt want to know my 'number' lol. I don't see how it would help me. Ignorance is bliss. I just know I'm decent enough but nothing too special. It's very funny to me that you went on there and put pics. I'm not sure why. I guess I never got the impression from your posts you'd use it. 7 is pretty good. I think 7 is great especially on that site. I dont like the 10 scale because I think that's I think that's too many numbers/too complicated. While dating, I see men as more...trimorphic. 'Wouldn't go with, would go with, would REALLLY go with)

I don't think I photograph very well at all (I guess most people feel that way)which I actually like on online dating as surprising as that may sound. That way I can actually impress more upon meeting,rather than disappoint

Last edited by Cookiesandough; 7th November 2017 at 12:54 AM..
Cookiesandough is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 7th November 2017, 12:56 AM   #34
Established Member
 
Cookiesandough's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2016
Location: USA
Posts: 4,194
I'm thinking about trying professional pics again, but this time try to make them more natural. I don't know. I'm going back to online dating soon. I think my goal is just to meet new people and in turn I can learn more about humanity, including myself. It's fascinating to me to get firsthand peek into someones life for a moment and dating is the easiest way for me to do that. I hope i am successful. I liked the suggestion you gave for profile content. TY for this thread and the adivce

Last edited by Cookiesandough; 7th November 2017 at 2:38 AM..
Cookiesandough is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 7th November 2017, 3:38 AM   #35
Established Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2015
Posts: 742
Quote:
Originally Posted by Cookiesandough View Post
Im not sure if its 100. Actually, I highly doubt it. It's not possible. It's just hard to tell because I match with many and sometimes we automatically match or they swipe me after. I just dont recall ever not matching with someone I really wanted to and I am sort of selective. I dont feel there's a good selection online.


I think guys swipe right on everything vaguely resembling female human. I take that back because once I messed up my picture order and had a photo of just my bunny(just my bun)as my main and still got matches/messages. lol. So it doesn't need to be human.
I'm currently just blindly swiping and I think a lot of guys are doing the same thing, so I guess that's how you could still get matches with your bunny picture. (Even though I like bunnies) Then if I'm not interested in the girl, I unmatch or just don't send a message. I sometimes get a match with a girl who doesn't have any pictures, or with types who are living abroad and are looking for a husband... I pretty much delete them immediately.

It does work pretty well though, since I'm getting multiple matches a day. I'd say I'm not interested in about half the girls I match with. Girls unmatched me all the time in the past, so I don't really feel bad about blindly swiping and deleting anymore.

I doubt you need professional pics by the way, if that was really you in the pictures you sometimes use on this site

Last edited by Erik30; 7th November 2017 at 3:41 AM..
Erik30 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 7th November 2017, 3:59 AM   #36
Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2017
Location: Spain
Posts: 62
Quote:
Originally Posted by Cookiesandough View Post
I'd have to wonder why those guys would need online dating. They'd have to have crippling social anxiety/agoraphobia or something
Why would 95% of the women need online dating then, when dating as a woman requires ZERO effort, just wait for the guys to approach and choose one of them. They are approached on social media, on the street, on the gym, at work... They only need to follow up with the guys they like and ignore the rest.

Whats the reason they are there then? I dont know, more dating options in just a few clicks (maybe they arent approached by guys they really like), discretion (you can make up who you are or where you work...)
warp123 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 7th November 2017, 10:55 PM   #37
Established Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2009
Posts: 434
Quote:
Originally Posted by Cookiesandough View Post
I dont feel there's a good selection online.

I think guys swipe right on everything vaguely resembling female human. I take that back because once I messed up my picture order and had a photo of just my bunny(just my bun)as my main and still got matches/messages. lol. So it doesn't need to be human.
may it's just some weird compliment guys like to give women on online dating, like "you're too cute to be here",? but it annoys me. doubt it.there are better ways to flatter/appeal to ego without having someone need to defend their existence.

I have heard of that HotorNot site and I wouldn't do it!!!lol It seems so vain. Also, I wouldnt want to know my 'number' lol. I don't see how it would help me. Ignorance is bliss. I just know I'm decent enough but nothing too special. It's very funny to me that you went on there and put pics. I'm not sure why. I guess I never got the impression from your posts you'd use it. 7 is pretty good. I think 7 is great especially on that site. I dont like the 10 scale because I think that's I think that's too many numbers/too complicated. While dating, I see men as more...trimorphic. 'Wouldn't go with, would go with, would REALLLY go with)

I actually like on online dating as surprising as that may sound. That way I can actually impress more upon meeting,rather than disappoint
Here is the thing, before online dating you just had to sit around and wait for guys to hit on you... and the most successful women were the ones that learned how to encourage a guy to approach them. Does that sound like you? I think online dating is good for some people because it creates an artificial environment where approaching people is easier.

Some guys right swipe everything and don't even look. Those are what we call idiots. They are bricking their own Tinder account by driving down the ELO score. Smart guys only swipe 5 to 10 a day and only ones that are attractive.

Calling you a Bot... maybe it's a backhanded compliment... or what some guys call a 'neg'. That technique should be reserved for cheerleader type girls. If you try that stuff with Smart or Nerdy girls it just pisses them off. Use backhanded compliments very sparingly. Remember that this technique works on guys as well.

I used the HotorNot sight when I was young because I had emotional issues. It's hard for most people to understand but I got bullied very bad in High School. I was shy, chubby, nerdy. I barely even talked to girls and thought none of them liked me. When I got to college I became co-captain of a sports team with an athletic scholarship... I spent nearly 5 hours a day exercising. I got to the point where I would get compliments every day from girls on my physique... but I still felt unattractive. It's not something most people can relate to but I eventually grew out of it. I became a very confident and emotionally secure adult.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Cookiesandough View Post
I'm thinking about trying professional pics again, but this time try to make them more natural. I don't know. I'm going back to online dating soon. I think my goal is just to meet new people and in turn I can learn more about humanity, including myself. It's fascinating to me to get firsthand peek into someones life for a moment and dating is the easiest way for me to do that. I hope i am successful. I liked the suggestion you gave for profile content. TY for this thread and the adivce
My suggestion is to make them pictures of you doing something.

I wish you good luck in finding the kind of boy you want. My only advice to you is to not be afraid of getting a broken heart.
Cobra_X is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 8th November 2017, 12:02 AM   #38
Established Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: Canada
Posts: 652
Honestly, the trick is to not give up after getting nothing the first week or so. I got nothing for the first couple weeks, but am now getting one every week or two (a few previous swipes swiped me back, I guess).

Go on every day, but be smart about who you swipe, giving them sparingly.
JustGettingBy is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Bookmarks

Thread Tools
Display Modes

 

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Should I make it work with him..again Everlastinglite Breaks and Breaking Up 7 8th May 2015 6:12 AM
not sure how to make this work Kris89 Dating 1 3rd April 2013 10:59 AM
How do you make it work? leap83 Long-Distance Relationships 4 2nd January 2010 4:31 AM
I want to make it work! CeazPk Dating 3 13th May 2003 7:21 PM

 

All times are GMT -4. The time now is 5:56 AM.

Please note: The suggestions and advice offered on this web site are opinions only and are not to be used in the place of professional psychological counseling or medical advice. If you or someone close to you is currently in crisis or in an emergency situation, contact your local law enforcement agency or emergency number.


Copyright © 1997-2013 LoveShack.org. All Rights Reserved.