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How to Make Tinder Work For You


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Old 3rd November 2017, 6:21 PM   #16
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Originally Posted by Cobra_X View Post
How much do you know about photography? Lighting, composition, framing these are super important and your idiot frat buddy isn't going to know how to make a picture look great.
I don't think looking much better in your photos than you do in real life e.g., under less-than-ideal lighting, is the objective though. Otherwise the girl may be disappointed when you meet up.

Women are more interested in a guy's overall essense than they are in his jawline. Imperfect but decent photos of you living your life are much better than photos of you taken in a studio or in some clearly contrived environment, even if the latter set of photos highlight your facial features perfectly.

(I agree w @normal_person though, group shots of you can't be your only photos, you do need to have a photo just of yourself.
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Old 3rd November 2017, 6:32 PM   #17
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I think those professional pictures are actually a turn off, especially if it's an average looking girl... makes it kind of seem like she probably looks "worse" in her normal pictures and in RL. (Same goes for guys I guess)
professional shots are usually very clear

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Old 3rd November 2017, 9:07 PM   #18
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professional shots are usually very clear
Yeah but they can play around with makeup and lighting (also possibly only using shots from certain angles) to make you look better than you actually are...
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Old 3rd November 2017, 9:20 PM   #19
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I suppose so.

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Old 5th November 2017, 11:17 AM   #20
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I don't think looking much better in your photos than you do in real life e.g., under less-than-ideal lighting, is the objective though. Otherwise the girl may be disappointed when you meet up.
Women are more interested in a guy's overall essense than they are in his jawline. Imperfect but decent photos of you living your life are much better than photos of you taken in a studio or in some clearly contrived environment, even if the latter set of photos highlight your facial features perfectly.
(I agree w @normal_person though, group shots of you can't be your only photos, you do need to have a photo just of yourself.
This is a truth that most men need to understand and embrace. A good chunk of female attraction is to as you say a man's "essence". I would characterize this more as a projection. What you project in your photos is very important.

This belief that a shirtless selfie in the bathroom is better than a pro shirtless photo of you carrying your surfboard on the beach... is stupid.

A Tinder photo should represent the best and most interesting you have ever looked in your recent history. If you are an 8 in the photos but a 6 in real life... most women won't be too disappointed or care provided your "essence" fits what she is attracted to.

It has been often cited that a guys #1 fear with online dating is that the girl won't match her pictures. That doesn't even make the top 10 fears for women. In fact, studies have shown that even if catfished women respond better than men to dates that are 100lbs heavier than their photos.

Bottom line... fear of appearing Try Hard is stupid... because it stops you from actually Trying Hard. Fear of not matching your pics is also stupid, because as long as the picture is recent and of you it will match.
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Old 5th November 2017, 11:33 AM   #21
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This belief that a shirtless selfie in the bathroom is better than a pro shirtless photo of you carrying your surfboard on the beach... is stupid.
+1000

I find the bathroom selfies in particular to have a revolting quality to them. Even if the bathroom were a really clean, well-designed, well-lit one, there's just too much suggestion of the hygienic activities that take place there. That's gross. And if you add in the typical dim cluttered airless dinginess of 99.9% of selfie bathrooms shown, then it's just disgusting. Nobody wants the lifestyle of hanging out in a grubby mildewy bathroom with you.....or if they do, would you want them?

Whereas the surfboard photo implies a fun-filled, sunlit active outdoor life. Much preferable for most, right?
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Old 5th November 2017, 11:43 AM   #22
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The problem with online dating sites is the following.

You go to a fruit store and pick the most shiny and perfect fruits. If there arent perfect, you pick the best looking. Maybe being perfect dont translate to better taste when you eat them, but you prefer those.

So as a woman, if you are presented all these men, wouldnt you choose the most good looking guys first?

Thats what happens on those sites, either you are a 10/10 or you will have a hard time.


In person is always better, they can see more than an image, they can see how you move, how you talk, if you are actually nice or not... internet is more for physically gifted men. I get a lot of looks in person, but on the internet im just one more and my self esteem gets hurt. I try to avoid online dating.

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Old 5th November 2017, 4:53 PM   #23
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Originally Posted by Cobra_X View Post
This is a truth that most men need to understand and embrace. A good chunk of female attraction is to as you say a man's "essence". I would characterize this more as a projection. What you project in your photos is very important.

This belief that a shirtless selfie in the bathroom is better than a pro shirtless photo of you carrying your surfboard on the beach... is stupid.

A Tinder photo should represent the best and most interesting you have ever looked in your recent history. If you are an 8 in the photos but a 6 in real life... most women won't be too disappointed or care provided your "essence" fits what she is attracted to.

It has been often cited that a guys #1 fear with online dating is that the girl won't match her pictures. That doesn't even make the top 10 fears for women. In fact, studies have shown that even if catfished women respond better than men to dates that are 100lbs heavier than their photos.

Bottom line... fear of appearing Try Hard is stupid... because it stops you from actually Trying Hard. Fear of not matching your pics is also stupid, because as long as the picture is recent and of you it will match.
Who ever recommended bathroom selfies tho

You should NOT be posting bathroom selfies, if that wasn't clear already. We were discussing having your picture taken by/with your friends.

If you can get a photographer to take a shot of you *actually shredding a wave* that is awesome. The big problem w hiring a photographer to take your pictures is that it looks too contrived. Anyone can tell that this is what you did, and women will be wondering why you even needed to be doing so.

I will say it again: Most of the guys who are cleaning up on Tinder did not hire professional photographers, either to follow them around and take shots of these guys in action, or to do these contrived photoshoots.

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Old 5th November 2017, 6:14 PM   #24
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The problem with online dating sites is the following.

You go to a fruit store and pick the most shiny and perfect fruits. If there arent perfect, you pick the best looking. Maybe being perfect dont translate to better taste when you eat them, but you prefer those.

So as a woman, if you are presented all these men, wouldnt you choose the most good looking guys first?

Thats what happens on those sites, either you are a 10/10 or you will have a hard time.


In person is always better, they can see more than an image, they can see how you move, how you talk, if you are actually nice or not... internet is more for physically gifted men. I get a lot of looks in person, but on the internet im just one more and my self esteem gets hurt. I try to avoid online dating.
Yes thats true and it works for men to BUT luckily for us people have different taste. Yes there are those who have those kind of practically universal looks of peace/of a Greek god, but those guys are not responding to every girl either. I cant even believe those guys really exist on OLD. I haven't seen one. I'd have to wonder why those guys would need online dating. They'd have to have crippling social anxiety/agoraphobia or something


My point is, those guys account for a small portion of OLD. Most people OLD fall in the range of average good looking. You know how you can see a girl you think is hot and point it out to your buddy and he's like "nah man"? He doesn't see it. Or you and you buddy can see two women and you want the one of the right and he wants the one of the left? It's like that.

You need to work on being the best you can be physically. OLD is 99% physical, I don't what the rest of these suckers say. You're essentially strangers so what else is there to tie you together stronger? Not like you met through friends, or a night out dancing together, or serendipitous bumped into each other and laughed. Yes, somepeople do read the profiles, but mostly because you pictures caught their eye and you looked good.


So what are you going to do? You need quality pictures. If you can manage this with your iphone. Awesome. Just make sure they are clear and capture your vibe. If you're smiling all cheesy like in from of your water stained bathroom mirror, that's what a woman will conclude you are like.

You can also go the artistic, professional photography route(no glamour or business headshots) Just something clear, with good lighting, nice backdrop. I'd say over half the guys I've been on dates with from Tinder(more towards the end than the beginning now that I've become more discerning, realizing I can be) have had professional photographs.They're pretty average dudes, but they know how to make the best of their looks.

Sure, If you're an extremely aesthetic guy, you can take a pic with anything short of a potato and put a witty one liner in your profile probably do just fine, but most guys aren't and need to to set themselves apart to maximize success.

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Old 5th November 2017, 6:34 PM   #25
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Who ever recommended bathroom selfies tho

You should NOT be posting bathroom selfies, if that wasn't clear already. We were discussing having your picture taken by/with your friends.

If you can get a photographer to take a shot of you *actually shredding a wave* that is awesome. The big problem w hiring a photographer to take your pictures is that it looks too contrived. Anyone can tell that this is what you did, and women will be wondering why you even needed to be doing so.

I will say it again: Most of the guys who are cleaning up on Tinder did not hire professional photographers, either to follow them around and take shots of these guys in action, or to do these contrived photoshoots.
I'm not fond of pics with friends. It's better than a pic with another woman, but not by much. I guess I am just too generous in assuming that the guy has friends/a social life even if he doesn't post a picture of it. The friend pic distracts. Oftentimes, his friend is hotter. Sometimes it's obvious he chose a less attractive friend to seem more attractive. It also takes up time to look at a pic of two or more people and pick out the one that is advertising themselves and it is at least subconsciously frustrating.

Taken by your friends on phone is just fine. As long as it's clear and you look good. You also may note many people have friends who are 'professional' photographers (basically anyone with a good dslr cam these days)
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Old 5th November 2017, 9:05 PM   #26
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You go to a fruit store and pick the most shiny and perfect fruits. If there arent perfect, you pick the best looking. Maybe being perfect dont translate to better taste when you eat them, but you prefer those.
So as a woman, if you are presented all these men, wouldnt you choose the most good looking guys first?
Thats what happens on those sites, either you are a 10/10 or you will have a hard time.
Warp123.... You don't have to be a 10/10 in looks. I promise you that if you get professional pictures of you engaging in fun activities that you enjoy, women will match with you.

In the picture you should dress well. Use a style that fits your personality and compliments your body shape.
The picture should also represent you doing something that you enjoy. I love sailing. I'm a member of a yacht club that allows me to rent small sailboats.

When I did my pictures it took about 1 hour. I brought multiple changes of clothes... ironed and ready. We went to the docks and did some pictures of me working on a sailboat. Then we went to a park and did some pictures there in a different outfit. Then we went to downtown 20 minutes away and took photos there in a third change of clothes.

I did these pictures for a startup company I was creating. When the startup failed I used them on Tinder and my success rate jumped incredibly high. I'm not super handsome.

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Who ever recommended bathroom selfies tho
You should NOT be posting bathroom selfies, if that wasn't clear already. We were discussing having your picture taken by/with your friends.
If you can get a photographer to take a shot of you *actually shredding a wave* that is awesome. The big problem w hiring a photographer to take your pictures is that it looks too contrived. Anyone can tell that this is what you did, and women will be wondering why you even needed to be doing so.
I will say it again: Most of the guys who are cleaning up on Tinder did not hire professional photographers, either to follow them around and take shots of these guys in action, or to do these contrived photoshoots.
Two points.
1. If you have professional photos that look contrived then your photographer sucks. The majority of people cannot tell pro photos from friends with cell phones. To them it just looks like a good picture. Women especially decide to match within 2 to 3 seconds of looking at your pics.
2. Of course most of the dudes cleaning up on Tinder are naturally photogenic. Maybe it takes a bit more work for you... but normal guys can also compete.

Stop complaining and go give it a try. $100 and you get good photos that you can show your grandkids some day. I don't know why you are so negative and resistant to reality. Are you just afraid to drop the cash?
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Old 5th November 2017, 9:42 PM   #27
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I'm not fond of pics with friends. It's better than a pic with another woman, but not by much. I guess I am just too generous in assuming that the guy has friends/a social life even if he doesn't post a picture of it. The friend pic distracts. Oftentimes, his friend is hotter. Sometimes it's obvious he chose a less attractive friend to seem more attractive. It also takes up time to look at a pic of two or more people and pick out the one that is advertising themselves and it is at least subconsciously frustrating.
Taken by your friends on phone is just fine. As long as it's clear and you look good. You also may note many people have friends who are 'professional' photographers (basically anyone with a good dslr cam these days)
I believe most women agree with you on this. Pictures with friends are bad ones to use. Most cell phone cameras have a focal center. Anyone too far forward or back of the focal length will be slightly out of focus. This will increase with the distance from the focal point. Cell phone cameras often have software built in to adjust for this, which can create minor distortions to the color and shape of a persons face.

Yes, anyone with a DSLR can take high resolution pictures. However, you should pick someone who understands lighting and composition. Someone who knows what angle will make you look the most interesting and flattering.

Check out this group of photos. The woman is slim, lacking good hips, and not very busty, however still very pretty. Look at how some poses flatter her and accentuate the positive aspects of her body shape while minimizing potential negatives. Now any guy that dates her is going to be more than happy with her build once they are meeting up in person and the pheromones start connecting. The good photos will help her get to that point. Do you see a pose that might work good for you?

Plus... and lets be honest here. Who doesn't want have some pics to use where they look good. Good pictures can even help your career.

https://i.pinimg.com/originals/43/11...b17697c682.jpg
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Old 5th November 2017, 10:00 PM   #28
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Lighting and all that does factor in, but most if not all professional photographers edit and retouch their photos. The girl in that picture is a naturally very pretty girl so of course she is going to look great, but she has obviously been retouched. I think those photos poses/scene are too forced. It might just be a matter of opinion, but it looks stock image-y to me. I wouldn't post a pic like that on a dating app because I think I would lose interest from men thinking I was using a stock photo. I've mentioned this before, but I'm an avg looking girl who had pics taken by my friend who is a new photographer working on her portfolio. She is building a studio in her house. Anyway, I had 2 pics from that session on Tinder and the rest just selfies. 70% of the guys I matched first words to me were "fake?" etc. No one wants to go through that. Guys I've met told me they were wary I was a catfish or using enhanced pics and were relieved I looked the same. Anyway, they said they were wary to meet. This happened even before, but it got worse with the 'fancy' pics. So women need to be careful using pics that are too contrived/stock image looking. It won't improve online dating success, might even make things more difficult as it did in my xp because I like to meet right away and don't share social media etc.

It may be different for men however, if like you said, it's taken well and you aren't able to tell the difference between an iphone shot and professional shot...It's just clearer/looks better. But I do not suggest to men the equivalent of the pic series you linked at all. Too try-hard/glamour shotish. A photographer should work to get you comfortable and take organic pictures when you're distracted and capture 'you'. Some people(like myself) are stiff in front of a camera when they know it's happening. But they can catch you off-guard. I think the best sessions are hours long and you become comfortable with the photographer, but that's not practical. But say if you're surfing, they should catch shots of you when you're distracted and laughing so it looks like you're naturally happy and not 'posed'

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Old 6th November 2017, 9:44 AM   #29
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Lighting and all that does factor in, but most if not all professional photographers edit and retouch their photos. The girl in that picture is a naturally very pretty girl so of course she is going to look great, but she has obviously been retouched. I think those photos poses/scene are too forced. It might just be a matter of opinion, but it looks stock image-y to me. I wouldn't post a pic like that on a dating app because I think I would lose interest from men thinking I was using a stock photo. I've mentioned this before, but I'm an avg looking girl who had pics taken by my friend who is a new photographer working on her portfolio. She is building a studio in her house. Anyway, I had 2 pics from that session on Tinder and the rest just selfies. 70% of the guys I matched first words to me were "fake?" etc. No one wants to go through that. Guys I've met told me they were wary I was a catfish or using enhanced pics and were relieved I looked the same. Anyway, they said they were wary to meet. This happened even before, but it got worse with the 'fancy' pics. So women need to be careful using pics that are too contrived/stock image looking. It won't improve online dating success, might even make things more difficult as it did in my xp because I like to meet right away and don't share social media etc.
It may be different for men however, if like you said, it's taken well and you aren't able to tell the difference between an iphone shot and professional shot...It's just clearer/looks better. But I do not suggest to men the equivalent of the pic series you linked at all. Too try-hard/glamour shotish. A photographer should work to get you comfortable and take organic pictures when you're distracted and capture 'you'. Some people(like myself) are stiff in front of a camera when they know it's happening. But they can catch you off-guard. I think the best sessions are hours long and you become comfortable with the photographer, but that's not practical. But say if you're surfing, they should catch shots of you when you're distracted and laughing so it looks like you're naturally happy and not 'posed'
Of course those pictures look like stock photography... the background shows they were shot in a studio. Anything shot in a studio will give people a professional photo feel. The point was to look at the poses the model uses, figure out which one is most flattering to YOU and then practice it in a mirror until it looks natural.

If you pay the photographer then you get to dictate how the pictures turn out. Most pros will not want to use Photoshop, they will instead use Lightroom to enhance colors. You will look the same but the lighting will be different. Here is an example.

https://cnet2.cbsistatic.com/img/NuW...il-gallery.jpg

What was your match %? If you like a guy and swiped right... what percentage of those resulted in matches?

Ok... so if guys are responding asking if you are fake or not that means you are above average in looks. I don't know what you look like, but just based on this I would guess that men tend to rate you as very attractive.

The way to address this issue is in the profile wording. Explain that your friend is a photographer and you are helping her build a portfolio. This may also help you weed out douchebags who don't read your profile. If they still come across asking if you are fake.
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Old 6th November 2017, 4:53 PM   #30
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I try to keep good posture. Some photos in that set look natural or comfortable but some do not look like she is natural or comfy to me


I see. I know nothing about photography. I just know someone who does it. I am average looking. There are a lot of bots/catfish/scammers on Tinder. They've become smart enough to use avg people. I match with everyone I swipe to my knowledge but I'm a woman so that is no feat. It's not about matches so much as a few of the men being wary to meet at first and we talk about this when we do. I think women and men should do professional pics as long as they don't look too "done" to minimize this and other problems encountered that way

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