LoveShack.org Community Forums

Reload this Page LoveShack.org Community Forums > Transitioning > In Search Of...

Dry Spell Beating Me Down


In Search Of... Having a hard time forming friendships or finding companions, lovers, or associates? Is someone pursuing an unwelcome relationship with you? Talk about your experiences here.

Like Tree6Likes
  • 1 Post By soyou
  • 1 Post By LightWave93
  • 1 Post By guy45
  • 1 Post By Cookiesandough
  • 2 Post By enigma32
Reply
 
LinkBack Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 2nd October 2017, 1:48 PM   #1
Established Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2017
Location: Ohio
Posts: 58
Dry Spell Beating Me Down

Hello,


So I have another thread regarding my breakup about 7 months ago, but now I am posting about my aftermath.


I have only been on one date since and I cannot seem to find any good [for me] potential daters or even any hook up potential. I am online sending messages every day (most are ignored). I am trying to talk to women in public (I am not very outgoing on the surface). I received some numbers, had some conversations, but nothing comes of it. She loses touch, I lose touch, I'm sorta "meh" about her.. etc.


If there was any path that would challenge my self worth it would be this one. Being dumped followed by months of rejection. I can only tell you it can be agonizing. I keep my hope that a very good companion could come into my life at any moment or even just a really fun woman to date for a while and see where it goes.


Yesterday I had to have a moment to let the tears flow. I don't mind rejection as a part of life but when I get hit with one after another and it creates a pile, I have to let that steam out. It really does shout "look at all this evidence that you are not wanted."


I know I have choices and I won't settle. I don't want to be settled for either. Thanks for reading a moment, for any of you also having a drought in your life. I just want to be touched; cuddled, kissed, go out on dates..
Greenhawk84 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 2nd October 2017, 2:09 PM   #2
Established Member
 
Join Date: May 2008
Posts: 267
Go on Tinder!! If you're not bad looking, you will have a number of fun dates!

If you're not that attractive, work out, it will help you to look more desirable. Come back to Tinder , you will get some dates!

Good luck!!
soyou is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 2nd October 2017, 4:34 PM   #3
Established Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2017
Location: Ohio
Posts: 58
Quote:
Originally Posted by soyou View Post
Go on Tinder!! If you're not bad looking, you will have a number of fun dates!

If you're not that attractive, work out, it will help you to look more desirable. Come back to Tinder , you will get some dates!

Good luck!!
I been on Tinder for about 5 months. I haven't met a single woman from there. I swipe 100's of people.. I got a couple conversations, but they died. It gets to where I ask something or try to set a date and I get no response. I have had girlfriends before.. people say I am handsome.. but I don't really know sometimes. People say nice things all the time to make someone feel better.
Greenhawk84 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 2nd October 2017, 5:18 PM   #4
Established Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2016
Posts: 198
Honestly mate, I know how you feel. I'm not able to get dates personally, but the lack of any female contact is unbearable at times.

As for Tinder...I haven't had any luck on there myself, and I'm allegedly attractive. You may get lucky so I suggest keeping an account open, but don't put too much weight on it.
LightWave93 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 2nd October 2017, 6:24 PM   #5
Established Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2017
Location: Ohio
Posts: 58
Quote:
Originally Posted by LightWave93 View Post
Honestly mate, I know how you feel. I'm not able to get dates personally, but the lack of any female contact is unbearable at times.

As for Tinder...I haven't had any luck on there myself, and I'm allegedly attractive. You may get lucky so I suggest keeping an account open, but don't put too much weight on it.
I have to keep my options open. As much failure that has been happening there is something bound to happen positive. I know I'm on here bitching about things, pretty insignificant in the world, but I like to share my feelings so perhaps someone else can relate. It's better to not feel alone.

We have to keep trying because if we shut it all down there will definitely be no success.
Greenhawk84 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 2nd October 2017, 6:29 PM   #6
Established Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2017
Location: Ohio
Posts: 58
Quote:
Originally Posted by soyou View Post
If you're not that attractive, work out, it will help you to look more desirable.

Good luck!!
I would like to add that I do go to the gym each week and go running in my local park. I am in better shape than before.
Greenhawk84 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11th October 2017, 2:19 PM   #7
Established Member
 
guy45's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2017
Posts: 116
I'm in the exact same boat after my breakup months ago, just pure loneliness. Part of me likes it for some reason, it feels like life is testing my endurance.
guy45 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11th October 2017, 2:52 PM   #8
Established Member
 
Cookiesandough's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2016
Location: USA
Posts: 3,555
What's worse is people who want to go on dates with you forever but say they don't hook up. like dangling a carrot in front the starved. It's sadistic
Cookiesandough is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11th October 2017, 3:37 PM   #9
Established Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: east coast
Posts: 6,651
The problem with a dry spell is that it kills your confidence, thus making it harder to get out of that dry spell. I think it's time you either forget about dating so you can do some self improvement for a while, or lower your standards temporarily. Date some women you wouldn't normally go for. Just be honest that you aren't looking for anything long term. Those ladies will boost your confidence and eventually you will meet someone you want for something more meaningful.
enigma32 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12th October 2017, 1:44 PM   #10
Established Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2017
Location: Ohio
Posts: 58
Quote:
Originally Posted by enigma32 View Post
The problem with a dry spell is that it kills your confidence, thus making it harder to get out of that dry spell.

Yes, it really works against making progress with confidence. However, I know that I MUST maintain my confidence by letting myself feel sad by the rejections and move on. As I talk to more women I get use to the idea. I know that I if I do not try I will never succeed. Lately I had a surge in messages online. I changed my profile picture and switched it up. If it gets stale then switch it up.


It does not change the fact that out of 5 online conversations, maybe one of them has true potential for a date. With so many different schedules/factors (some people have kids, etc.) and being spread across 5 conversations, some of them are going to suffer. As my friend Andy and I talk about, I need to "close deals." I try not to let conversations linger on texting without trying to set a date. It really is like fishing.. change your lures.. change your spots.. fight the fish before yanking too hard. Keep at it.. fail again.. get up.. keep at it. Cry if you have to sometimes, be lonely, talk to friends, come online and talk.. just keep going.
Greenhawk84 is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Bookmarks

Thread Tools
Display Modes

 

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
beating myself up candie13 In Search Of... 6 24th January 2015 11:07 AM
Not beating yourself up... endlessabyss Self-Improvement and Personal Well-Being 1 8th June 2014 7:43 PM
beating myself up dharris27 Coping 9 28th June 2008 7:25 PM

 

All times are GMT -4. The time now is 6:41 AM.

Please note: The suggestions and advice offered on this web site are opinions only and are not to be used in the place of professional psychological counseling or medical advice. If you or someone close to you is currently in crisis or in an emergency situation, contact your local law enforcement agency or emergency number.


Copyright © 1997-2013 LoveShack.org. All Rights Reserved.