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Is looking for a committed relationship at my age useless?


In Search Of... Having a hard time forming friendships or finding companions, lovers, or associates? Is someone pursuing an unwelcome relationship with you? Talk about your experiences here.

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Old 4th October 2017, 3:59 PM   #31
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Originally Posted by MyOphelia View Post
Nope. I'm still not buying the "sex kitten" regardless of how you want to word it or how you want to change the subtleties of what you meant as a definition. Market yourself as such and then you'll be surprised when the marriage breaks down because "you've changed."

Always just be yourself.

Women marry men hoping they'll change. Men marry women, hoping they never do.

Whatever you "do" to attract your mate, if it is not an authentic part of who you are, how you are, and what you are, then your partner is falling for an audition and a costume.

The surest way into my pants is to be a good person. Don't try to "act" or "dress" any specific way, just be you. I believe this is the same mistake people make with losing weight. They (mistakenly) think that if they can just "get there" (hook the man, lose the weight), they'll automatically just know how to keep it. But thing is, they didn't learn the proper behaviour of what it will take to maintain your achievement.

If your relationship is based on sex, God help you when you age and your body naturally changes, your hormones drop, your prostate enlarges, your breasts sag, your body changes from kids, you can't lubricate, your drive changes, or if you have health problems or an accident. If the "glue" of your relationship is sex, there's nothing there to hold that straw house together as you two mature together as a couple.

Sex can be had anywhere and booty calls are easy. There's "girlfriend" material and there's "wife" material. The balance is where the mystery resides behind bedroom doors not on display as a trophy taken out of the case for the glory of others. You better bring more to the table than a crotch.

It depends on the caliber of man you want to attract. If you want someone simple, this "sex kitten" approach may work. I am more than that, and I also want more than that.
I definitely agree that you should be genuine and authentic. I don't ever want to pretend to be something I'm not in order to hook a guy. Personally I know I don't struggle with attracting guys sexually...but unfortunately that does sometime lead to becoming involved with guys who are just using me. I think I am just in the process of finding a balance.

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Originally Posted by preraph View Post
Most guys at your age are not ready for a permanent commitment or marriage or babies. As long as you don't accept anything less, you might find a good boyfriend who would last for awhile. But if a guy has many options, unless he's just not very social or hates dating, he will usually want some freedom and then maybe get that out of his system by the time he's 30 or over and start thinking about marrying someone.
Ahhh! I hope I will find a guy ready to settle down before he's 30 but who knows. It's just crazy to me that it takes that long to get out of their system. After two years of dating around, I'm sick of it. I guess my hope is to find someone on the same page as me. Not that I need marriage or babies or a ring anytime soon...just a relationship sounds better than going through this cycle of dating and hooking up with guys.
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Old 4th October 2017, 4:30 PM   #32
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Oh don't feel that it's you!

It's because you're dating boys, not men. I don't know about you, but I always thought it was okay for a girl to date guys at least a couple years older. Even then you'll find boys in that age group.

You need to weed out the boys from the men. And when you do, you'll find happiness in a relationship where both of you have mutual feelings and goals.

P.S. When I mean older, I don't just mean a year or two older, because 1. guys mature later on, and 2. a lot of 25 year olds are still boys.
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Old 4th October 2017, 4:41 PM   #33
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Oh don't feel that it's you!

It's because you're dating boys, not men. I don't know about you, but I always thought it was okay for a girl to date guys at least a couple years older. Even then you'll find boys in that age group.

You need to weed out the boys from the men. And when you do, you'll find happiness in a relationship where both of you have mutual feelings and goals.

P.S. When I mean older, I don't just mean a year or two older, because 1. guys mature later on, and 2. a lot of 25 year olds are still boys.
Yup I have unfortunately found out that many 25 year olds are so immature as can be.

I may start to expand my horizons and date older. But it is reassuring to know that this seems to be pretty standard behavior with guys my age. Hopefully I have learned my lesson.
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