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Finding it impossible to meet single women


In Search Of... Having a hard time forming friendships or finding companions, lovers, or associates? Is someone pursuing an unwelcome relationship with you? Talk about your experiences here.

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Old 26th September 2017, 3:09 PM   #1
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Finding it impossible to meet single women

Since my last post I've been working on my social circle. I continue to make friends, but can't find any single women. Are most women in their 20s already taken? Anyone here with similar experiences?
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Old 26th September 2017, 3:27 PM   #2
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Where are you looking? Single women are everywhere.


If you are not a fan of bars or clubs try some combination of the following:


1. take or teach an adult education class something like managing your finances; cooking; art appreciation . . . something they teach at night at the local high school or community college


2. play a co-ed sport


3. volunteer somewhere doing something you care about -- caring for animals, fighting a disease, the arts, politics, etc.


4. look who is around when you get your morning coffee


5. at the laundry mat


6. do a summer share at the beach or a winter share at a ski resort


7. attend alumni events


8. tell everybody you know that you are open to being fixed up


9. attend niche singles events. They have them for every interest out there. I went to one called Leashes & Lovers because I could bring my dog. I played board games with a Meet-Up group. I met my husband at an entrepreneur's event. I had planned to go to one where they pair you to play golf with somebody; I figured even if the guy wasn't my type I'd at least get 9 holes in.


10. Go to industry events for your job.
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Old 26th September 2017, 3:37 PM   #3
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You know, sometimes I feel the same. Every single woman I was interested in has a boyfriend or is too obsessed with her career to even consider having a relationship.
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Old 26th September 2017, 4:37 PM   #4
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Since my last post I've been working on my social circle. I continue to make friends, but can't find any single women. Are most women in their 20s already taken? Anyone here with similar experiences?
Try a dating ap. Every woman on there is single and looking. There are hundreds, if not thousands, of them in your city.
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Old 26th September 2017, 7:56 PM   #5
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Right after I graduated from college for about a year, everyone I met was engaged or committed to a BF - at least that's what they told me. Highly frustrating. Timing definitely worked in my wife's favor. Sadly, my single days were pre-internet so I wasn't able to get good advice like you're getting in this thread.
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Old 27th September 2017, 6:28 PM   #6
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I currently in graduate school. Since it is engineering, there are virtually none in my classes. I am in several clubs that involve my hobbies. There are women there, but they all are taken. I've asked them out and all steady have boyfriends. I even have seen several with their boyfriends, so I am sure most if not all of them are honest about it. I tried online dating but being 5 feet tall, I was universally rejected on several sites. Right now, the only option left is overseas dating.
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Old 27th September 2017, 8:15 PM   #7
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Do they have grad school mixers for all of the disciplines . . . like all together so the engineers can meet the people in education, law, medicine, the arts etc.? Do you attend them?


Do make everyone you know aware that you are open to being fixed up. People, especially women, love to play matchmaker.


I heard some guy posted on his FB page that he wanted to be fixed up. He met a number of women that way. What have you go to lose? You never know who knows someone who may be perfect for you!
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Old 28th September 2017, 2:39 PM   #8
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The mixers are specific to each major. The last one had only a dozen people show up. My schedule makes it difficult to go to the bars nearby. I've tried cold approaching on campus, but that has not resulted in any success. I am virtually out of options.
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Old 28th September 2017, 3:20 PM   #9
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make time to go to bars...if you're too busy to go to a bar and approach women, you're prob too busy to date
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Old 28th September 2017, 8:41 PM   #10
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Since my last post I've been working on my social circle. I continue to make friends, but can't find any single women. Are most women in their 20s already taken? Anyone here with similar experiences?
No, there are no single women in your 20s. At least that's my experience. They're all taken. Sorry, that's just the way it is.
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Old 29th September 2017, 10:50 AM   #11
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No, there are no single women in your 20s. At least that's my experience. They're all taken. Sorry, that's just the way it is.
Just for fun, I did a random search in Dallas on OKCupid for women age 20-30. Got a few hundred results. How do you explain that?
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Old 29th September 2017, 10:08 PM   #12
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Just for fun, I did a random search in Dallas on OKCupid for women age 20-30. Got a few hundred results. How do you explain that?
Dating sites are notorious for having fake profiles created to draw new members. Members often create addition profiles strictly for the purpose of experimentation. Even if they are genuine profiles that doesn't guarantee that they are single. They may be looking to be with multiple partners or simply looking for an ego boost.
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Old 29th September 2017, 11:02 PM   #13
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d0nnivan had a great list of ideas!! If you actually are sincere about finding a date, you should pick and Act On at least 7 ideas.

It sounds like you are more feeling sorry for yourself than seeking a relationship. I get it, at times it feels too unlikely, difficult, impossible. It's valid to feel that.

Someday, if you do feel more motivated and less defeated, do write out that list and pin it on your wall.

It can be hard, no doubt. When you are in the right frame of mind, it can be methodically improved though.

Best Wishes,
Sunlight
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Old 30th September 2017, 10:15 AM   #14
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Dating sites are notorious for having fake profiles created to draw new members. Members often create addition profiles strictly for the purpose of experimentation. Even if they are genuine profiles that doesn't guarantee that they are single. They may be looking to be with multiple partners or simply looking for an ego boost.
So what percent of the hundreds would you guess are fake, experiments, or not single? Is it at all a significant percentage? I doubt it. If it were, people would have wised up by now and stopped using them a long time ago, and the companies would have gone out of business. But that hasn't happened, OLD has come a de facto way of meeting people. A basic Google search will tell you that. In a way it's even more efficient than trying to meet people in person because you're not limited to only the people who happen to be at the same place at the same time.

I meet plenty of women online. I get a steady stream of messages weekly. The "fake" messages are easily detected and ignored, and might be 1 in 1000 at the most. Suggesting that because "fake" profiles exist, that there isn't an overwhelmingly more amount of real ones is dubious. It's like saying the 1919 World Series was fixed, therefore, most sports are fixed and you shouldn't watch them.

People here are literally suggesting all women aged 20-29 are taken. So all the women we've met on there (let alone seen), all the female posters here, and all the single women we know in real life are all part of some elaborate conspiracy? This is ridiculous, guys. Do some Googling.
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Old 30th September 2017, 11:42 AM   #15
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Once again, I'm probably not in a viable position to reply because I am married. But I am going through a divorce and will find myself in the same position, except without the advantage of being in my 20's or 30's. That in itself is going to make this a lot more challenging.

So "back in the day" we met people without the benefit of the internet. But I am personally NOT of the opinion of meeting women in bars. First, I don't drink alcohol and while I don't mind being around someone who drinks occasionally, if I meet them at a bar, by default it increases the chances of meeting someone who's really into her alcohol and the bar and club scene.

Find things you genuinely enjoy doing. People turn their nose up at volunteering but if I may: Not only are you giving back to society, but you are meeting other people who volunteer which means you're meeting people who enjoy giving of themselves without expecting things in return, who are compassionate, giving, care, are not selfish,...the quality of the person you meet in, for example, a SPCA rescue center, working with homeless people and shelters for women and children, especially this season giving toys and clothing to children, soup kitchen, volunteering working for veterans, habitat for humanity, donating time helping the elderly...Groom animals (we have mounted police and they're always looking for volunteers to care for the horses).

People can be so selfish thinking "I'm not interested in that stuff!" - but think beyond your own needs and think of others...you will meet other people who are givers in life. (You meet a woman in a bar, she's going to want to go out drinking every weekend and get smashed).

I don't know enough about dating sites, but OKCupid and Plenty of Fish and eHarmony and Match and Tinder...I think the TYPE of app you use will give at least a little inkling as to what "type" of person uses that app. That's why I think when you're not looking is when you end up finding that person you've been friendly with all this time and never bothered to give a second look.

I'll be facing the same issues, with a disadvantage you do not have, so from my perspective, you have a lot of wonderful options.

Never rule out libraries, and book stores, and something like Starbucks (I've met a lot of the same folks there and gotten into great conversations with them because I'm a regular and am just friendly,...I'm not flirting, just nice).
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