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I just can't take it anymore.


In Search Of... Having a hard time forming friendships or finding companions, lovers, or associates? Is someone pursuing an unwelcome relationship with you? Talk about your experiences here.

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Old 18th September 2017, 2:29 PM   #16
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Depo-Provera
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"I care not much for a man's religion whose dog and cat are not better for it." -- Abraham Lincoln
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Old 18th September 2017, 4:11 PM   #17
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First, I do believe that it is part of the human condition to want to connect with other people and build social relationships... There is nothing "wrong" with you for wanting a relationship and there is nothing you can do to get rid of the desire to have a girlfriend.

That said, I don't believe that there is anything that should prevent someone from ever having a romantic relationship, if it is something that they seek. Whether you find a partner or not... well, that is something else entirely.

And finally, I also think that you should consider counselling.
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Old 19th September 2017, 12:25 AM   #18
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Code before you seek a GF or anything like that. Once again. I say seek counselling, to get a better perspective on life. That way. There won't be any loose ends in your life.

Truthfully Code. The human condition in life is to go in and our of love and have multiple partners, until you really click with someone. All having kids/marriage does is slow it down.

I struggle as well. Execept for me. I kind of feel weak when I feel in my head that I should be with a special someone. I know for me the ticket is to not go out of my way and turn Dating into some Operatic construction that I can't see through.


We all have our trial and we have see the though. It a puzzle that will unravel soon enough. Prayer/working out and trying to be ubeat will get us out through the bad drought we have with dating.

On a side not. i think that not having great family/friends is way worse than having a GF. Even If you and I do manage to get one. Its not like after that everything is going to be hunky dory. Its better for that side of our lives just show up in its own time. Than us trying to force it.
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Old 19th September 2017, 11:09 AM   #19
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OP so you have the courage to get castrated but not get plastic surgery? Also castration doesn't remove the desire for love.
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Old 19th September 2017, 11:59 PM   #20
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OP so you have the courage to get castrated but not get plastic surgery? Also castration doesn't remove the desire for love.
Plastic surgery does not yield natural results. I would sooner stay deformed and hideous than to look fake and pathetic. I don't have the money for it either.

As for your last sentence, that sucks!
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Old 20th September 2017, 12:07 AM   #21
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I know for a fact that no woman could EVER have affection or feelings for me under any circumstances. It's just a fact, and everyone I've ever met knows it. My problems are rooted in inherent qualities of myself that cannot be changed. There is an "essence" of me that can't be described in words, but it is visible to everyone, and is a non-starter for women. I'm not a real man who is to be taken seriously as a potential boyfriend or sexual partner. All of that stuff is for all the other guys. I guess the only good part of it is at least I realize it.
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Old 20th September 2017, 5:44 AM   #22
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My advice to you is to pursue money. No money no honey. Successful men always attract women, doesn't matter how you look.

Or

If you're serious about giving up the desire for women, then I suggest you go to a Buddhist Temple and stay with the monks. Their talks on how to reduce mental suffering and eliminating desires will help you find that peace of mind. Do plan to stay there for a long time. One or two visits is not enough. If you like their teaching, consider joining them and become a monk and seek enlightenment.
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Old 20th September 2017, 7:03 AM   #23
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I know for a fact that no woman could EVER have affection or feelings for me under any circumstances. It's just a fact, and everyone I've ever met knows it. My problems are rooted in inherent qualities of myself that cannot be changed. There is an "essence" of me that can't be described in words, but it is visible to everyone, and is a non-starter for women. I'm not a real man who is to be taken seriously as a potential boyfriend or sexual partner. All of that stuff is for all the other guys. I guess the only good part of it is at least I realize it.
This is all just a lot more words to say "because". I don't mean to offend or marginalize your problem, but I doubt you are so uniquely bad that there are no words to describe your "essence" or qualities and not thousands if not more men who have struggled with the same thing to a greater or lesser degree. Maybe look into a dating coach who can help you pinpoint what your problems are and help you change (if you are serious about wanting to and putting in the work).

Last edited by Cookiesandough; 20th September 2017 at 7:09 AM..
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Old 20th September 2017, 2:23 PM   #24
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This is all just a lot more words to say "because". I don't mean to offend or marginalize your problem, but I doubt you are so uniquely bad that there are no words to describe your "essence" or qualities and not thousands if not more men who have struggled with the same thing to a greater or lesser degree. Maybe look into a dating coach who can help you pinpoint what your problems are and help you change (if you are serious about wanting to and putting in the work).
No, what I mean is that my problem is not based on just my looks or just my personality. There is an overall "essence" of me that is comprised of the sum total of all of my traits that is bad. It is the confluencing of everything that makes up me that is ugly, unlovable, and insufferable. It's true.
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Old 20th September 2017, 4:13 PM   #25
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No, what I mean is that my problem is not based on just my looks or just my personality. There is an overall "essence" of me that is comprised of the sum total of all of my traits that is bad.
Assuming you don't have a physical deformity or some condition that hinders social interactions (and oftentimes, even if you do), your situation can be changed. I've said it before, but if you just changed your attitude, even if you had to "fake it," you'd instantly be more appealing to me. No one on here knows you or knows what you look like. But reading this "I'm inherently insufferable" stuff is, in fact, insufferable. If you didn't write that, and instead wrote "I'm having some problems with girls but I'm willing to do what I can to learn and improve," I think people would be at least attracted to your ambition, drive, and attitude, and you'd be someone people would be happy to help. But you're just a name on a computer and I'm already tearing my hair out reading your posts. When I read others with similar problems, I can chuckle, feel challenged, feel willing to help, etc. See the difference that attitude can make?

Now extrapolate this scenario to the real world and imagine how people feel about you when you say those things in person. You're not doing yourself any favors and you're driving away anyone who might be open to trying to help you or might even date you otherwise.

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It is the confluencing of everything that makes up me that is ugly, unlovable, and insufferable. It's true.
If you can't articulate it any better than "it's true, trust me," then I'm not at all convinced that your problems are nearly as bad as you portray them.
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Old 20th September 2017, 4:45 PM   #26
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I DO have physical deformities of the chest, ribcage, and spine. It's bizarre looking, and a complete non-starter. That put together with my ugly face, hair loss, awkward personality and voice, it's all horrible.
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Old 20th September 2017, 5:10 PM   #27
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I DO have physical deformities of the chest, ribcage, and spine. It's bizarre looking, and a complete non-starter. That put together with my ugly face, hair loss, awkward personality and voice, it's all horrible.
I am sorry to hear OP. I suggested before that you google Sean Stephenson. He is a 2' tall man in a wheelchair who has dated and attracted his share of women. I really think you'd benefit from reading his story
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Old 20th September 2017, 6:04 PM   #28
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Use drugs lol.

Honestly, a relationship is miserable, just like being single is. I work with women, and believe me, all of them complain about how horrible their lives are, because they have problems with balancing work and raising children. Subsequently, this leads to cheating due to being miserable in everyday life. An outlet will be sought out, and cheating is usually the path that is gone down.

Relationships and marriage in the modern world are untenable institutions. We don't have the moral or economic capital to sustain them, all intentionally designed by those who control the majority of resources politically.

I do understand that we are emotional creatures, and God has cursed us with this need for love, belonging, and to be close to one of another sex. But, for most men we have to adapt to the crudeness of the world. Loneliness, depression, low self worth, and inadequacy are all things you will be batting with through the rest of your life, and should should be prepared for it.

You also need to realize that all relationships are transitory. Being able to satiate feelings of lust are great, but the pain you left with when your partner finds a better deal may not be worth it.

Life is hard, but complaining here is not worth it; it's what losers do. You will not get any type of worthwhile feedback. If you are just using this forum as a platform to vent and clear your head use it as that.

The best advice one can give is to improve your coping skills. Over work yourself, read, write. I often use drugs, maybe an escort here and there to numb the pain a little.

Lastly, don't be too hard on yourself. A lot of being in a relationship comes down to genetics, socio-economical status, all things you don't have any control over. There is no free will in life, so you are absolved of any fault you a pinning on yourself because of your predicament.
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Old 20th September 2017, 7:05 PM   #29
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I broke up with an ex and am still in love with him even though we have been apart 1 year.

I wish I had never experienced heart ache, because it never goes away. Its torture. Consider your self lucky.
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Old 20th September 2017, 7:57 PM   #30
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I broke up with an ex and am still in love with him even though we have been apart 1 year.

I wish I had never experienced heart ache, because it never goes away. Its torture. Consider your self lucky.
Well, that's the situation I find myself in now. I don't really like most people. I certainly don't like to answer to people, and I like to be able to cut off from others and be to myself whenever I want/need to. Just can't do that kind of stuff with a relationship. I honestly couldn't do it. And I don't mean to sound sexist or whatever, but I don't really like women as friends/companions. I don't find them particularly engaging or interesting (or even very smart most of the time). I can have an awesome conversation with friends who are guys because they tend to know way more about the stuff guys like and they tend to speak on my wavelength. When you talk to a woman, its got to be about something like clothes, food, or little cutesy things. It's not the best conversation in the world. That's just how I see it. Call me a sexist pig. Oh well...

But there's still that natural drive/desire to be with a woman. Just to have a woman recognize me and be attracted to me would be nice. But it's never happened and never will. It's impossible. I see it happening to other guys around me all the time. They're getting flirted with and girls signal to them they want to be talked to. Never happens to me. Like I said, when girls get around me, they "let their guards down". It's like...Phew, it's just an ugly freak. I can relax now. No need to try to look pretty for him. You can tell how women are manifestly uninterested in me by how they talk and how unconcerned they are for rendering themselves attractive to me. It's so easy to tell. There isn't a woman who has ever existed or will ever exist on planet earth who would like me.

But oh well. Darwin was right. Evolution only ensures that things work just good enough to live. It doesn't try to create millions of perfect beings.
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