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The Game. Does it Work?


In Search Of... Having a hard time forming friendships or finding companions, lovers, or associates? Is someone pursuing an unwelcome relationship with you? Talk about your experiences here.

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Old 18th September 2017, 8:53 PM   #16
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I'll chime in too. It does work to an extent yes, not to the letter but there are elements that can help. Think of that friend of yours who has always picked up women? You go to a bar with him and he leaves early with someone. You go for a coffee with him and he has the waitress's undivided attention?

Notice what he does. How he acts. When I was young I was shy, decent looking but terrible in social situations. I thought if I was simply nice to a woman and bought her a drink then she should like me. I had friends who would make rude jokes, would tease them, would act cocky and never buy drinks, and they would be the ones getting womens numbers. I could never figure it out it did not make sense.

The game simply takes examples like those guys that everyone knows and tried to teach those methods to people who struggle to act confident around beautiful women. All it really boils down to is confidence, there are numerous tricks and whatever that they suggest but in a nutshell its being able to talk to women like you are on the same level as them - not putting them on a pedestal, not playing power dynamics like blowing a load of cash on a date and expecting something in return - just being a confident guy.

Yes there are a lot of weird things in that community. But at its heart its simply trying to give guys who have suffered from debilitating confidence issues a chance to live a normal life.
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Old 18th September 2017, 9:22 PM   #17
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Originally Posted by SevenCity View Post
Funny how every single woman here says it doesn't work.

Fact is, if you can spot it they are not doing it right.

I have not done PUA myself but it sure seems to work for a lot of guys.

maybe because women dont wont a pick up artist as a bf......
ive been conned wanting to believe the best in a guy and the truth is pick up artistry is disingenuous ...its actually quite selfish as an art form ...full of guile......
pick up artistry is not normally about the love for one woman or wanting to know one woman but many....its a con and no one likes to be conned especially in the love arena......

that's why women say they dont like it.....they know when someone is using pua...because they dislike it..being conned is heartbreaking stuff....shameful and degrading...what serious woman doesnt want a ingenuous man not on the con.....deb
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Old 19th September 2017, 3:29 AM   #18
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Originally Posted by Bastile View Post
hahahaha



Last year, I had a girlfriend who snooped through my devices. (This is normal, and I blame myself for not being careful enough).

She went through my Youtube history and found all kinds of videos.

This was a shock to her. She actually couldn't comprehend it properly with the image that she has of me. The final rationalization was "you are inquisitive about life, and naturally inquisitive about women too".

Here's the rub. Pua is about social skills. Picking up women cold is perhaps the most difficult social skill to perform. It is incredibly nuanced, and anyone that says otherwise never tried it.

Okay, so if you are coming across as a "pick up artist", then you are doing it wrong.

And I thoroughly believe that women simply can't accept that a man uses any sort of method on them. On some level, they need to believe that what you are doing is completely in the moment. Even if that is (as in my case above, and often) a rationalization on their part. It is needed in a set.

Hide your ****. Don't break the fourth wall as standard (I went on a spree of this before, and I'm telling you from experience). Allow them to believe in magic and fairies.

Law of power #30: make your accomplishments seem effortless
Your actions must seem natural. All the toil and practice that goes into them, and also all the clever tricks, must be concealed. Avoid the temptation of revealing how you work... it only raises questions. Teach no-one your tricks, or they will be used against you.

I suggest you check out my thread "rejection". Where I came to that conclusion.

Provide the actual product to a woman. Not the culminations of work and toil to get there. Don't expect your sacrifice to be understood. Merely appreciated in the moment.
Or maybe just, y'know, show interest in women as individual people and make engaging and thoughtful conversation?

Talking to women is not difficult. If you have something interesting and smart to say, someone will want to hear it.
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Old 19th September 2017, 3:48 AM   #19
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Originally Posted by SevenCity View Post
Funny how every single woman here says it doesn't work.
Sure it works; for a laugh, for a fling or on vulnerable or too trusty women. I could be wrong, but I'm not sure 'pick-up artistry' is geared towards finding a stable, healthy, long-term relationship.
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Old 19th September 2017, 6:07 AM   #20
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I think it does work if you're not looking for a relationship and it's just sex/very casual. However, the "type" of woman that a PUA gets, is in the category of, let's say, "low hanging fruit" -- desperate women, women who have weak boundaries, or women who aren't looking for a relationship (which is fine if that's what they want).

But, if you're seeking a relationship and using PUA tactics, a woman who is strong, secure, smart, independent doesn't jump into things. She may be charmed, but she will sit back a little and observe how the man dates her for a bit. Pick up artists will show their "true" colors by their actions soon enough.

If you're seeking a relationship and using PUA and relationship develops, the PUA may find that he is in a relationship with a woman who isn't relationship material . . .
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Old 19th September 2017, 6:16 AM   #21
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maybe because women dont wont a pick up artist as a bf......
ive been conned wanting to believe the best in a guy and the truth is pick up artistry is disingenuous ...its actually quite selfish as an art form ...full of guile......
pick up artistry is not normally about the love for one woman or wanting to know one woman but many....its a con and no one likes to be conned especially in the love arena......

that's why women say they dont like it.....they know when someone is using pua...because they dislike it..being conned is heartbreaking stuff....shameful and degrading...what serious woman doesnt want a ingenuous man not on the con.....deb
Bingo. Pick-up techniques "work" in the same way that duct taping a broken car mirror "works". Everyone can see you're doing it, a lot of people will find it trashy and embarrassing, but it might get the job done.

There is not a woman alive who is unaware of pick-up methods when they happen. It's just a matter of whether she's OK with it.
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Old 19th September 2017, 6:32 AM   #22
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Originally Posted by salparadise View Post
It's not unique to PUA. This is a common sales technique that is widely known. Getting someone to do you a tiny favor greatly increases the chances that they will agree to a larger, subsequent request. It's an ice-breaker of sorts, removes a barrier, establishes a pattern of interaction, agreeableness, compliance.

A similar closing technique (these have names but I don't remember them) that definitely works is to ask several questions in succession that have obviously affirmative answers... then comes the closer, and they answer is likely to be yes.

Another... when the sales process and prospect are at the right point (desire established, objections removed), rather than overly asking for the decision (an opportunity to say no), a salesman may ask a question that implies that the decision has already been made, affirmatively of course. Would you like us to replace the standard floor mats with premium at no extra charge? Or, do you prefer the red or blue ribbon?

All of these ploys will move a motivated, unaware past mental/emotional barriers without them noticing. Everyone should read a book on salesmanship so that you can't be easily manipulated by standard techniques and smooth delivery. As much as people like to discount PUA stuff as baloney, it's really just proven sales techniques applied in a different context. The fact that you find it distasteful is unrelated to whether or not it will work.
^^^This.

Get to the first yes.

My study of pickup coincided with the beginning of my sales career. Someone suggested they were closely related. They are. Persuasion is persuasion. Gamesmanship is salesmannship. You're selling yourself. Or a dream. A fantasy. The bottom line is you're selling.

The key is to understand the entire process. Preselection. Open. Presentation. Close. Follow through. Once you know and understand the entire process, you can adapt to your own style without relying on specific pickup techniques that seem gimmicky. Any technique is part of a process and may or may not be helpful depending on the situation. Things "work" in general, but nothing "always" works. You have to be situationally aware.

Most of the best salespeople get to a point where they just talk to people. It just flows. There's no reliance on having to do this or that gimmick or technique. It's just communication. That leads to a desired result. Preferably beneficial to both parties.

Game or pick up is much the same. Don't let anybody tell you it doesn't work. It works every day. All over the world. It's just a matter of how well you do it. How well you listen and pay attention. How well you communicate. And how well you can be and deliver what a person may want.
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Old 19th September 2017, 6:39 AM   #23
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Originally Posted by Redhead14 View Post
I think it does work if you're not looking for a relationship and it's just sex/very casual. However, the "type" of woman that a PUA gets, is in the category of, let's say, "low hanging fruit" -- desperate women, women who have weak boundaries, or women who aren't looking for a relationship (which is fine if that's what they want).
I agree, add in the hurt, the vulnerable, the young, the naive, the "wounded animals" and yes, it all can work. Manipulation which is at the core of PUA and like techniques WILL work on the unwary

I think some men are actually out looking for "victims" to hold power over and to control, and PUA helps them do that, but it is hardly the sign of a quality man with integrity, it is usually the sign of the weak, the devious, the socially inadequate, the users and abusers and can be the sign of a personality disorder too.
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Old 19th September 2017, 8:51 AM   #24
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I agree, add in the hurt, the vulnerable, the young, the naive, the "wounded animals" and yes, it all can work. Manipulation which is at the core of PUA and like techniques WILL work on the unwary

I think some men are actually out looking for "victims" to hold power over and to control, and PUA helps them do that, but it is hardly the sign of a quality man with integrity, it is usually the sign of the weak, the devious, the socially inadequate, the users and abusers and can be the sign of a personality disorder too.
You know ... when I graduated from college and started my career I was really bad at sales. Horrible at it. Yet, my first job was a sales job. I had to learn, study, and practice to get better. I didn't really get better until an outstanding salesperson took me under his wing and taught me.

To suggest that - because I had to learn the process - I'm somehow a bad person that only preys on the weak is ludicrous. An abuser with a personality disorder that can only sell to the young, naive, and unwary. Victimizing the helpless. It's a ridiculous notion that makes no sense.

Likewise, if you look at the audience of most of those PUA videos, most of those guys seem to be normal guys. Guys that simply want a girlfriend or a wife. They are not inherently bad and the women they end up with will not be inherently flawed.

It's just not true.

I've never needed pick up. For some reason, some women have always liked me. I've never really had to do a whole lot to be with one. Only studied pick up because a coworker suggested it was similar to sales. Took what was useful. Left the rest. However, if I did need it, that would in no way determine my character or mental stability.

Seduction can be learned. It can be practiced and even mastered. By men and women. While some can use it maliciously, for most it's merely a tool to get what many of us want - love and companionship. Nothing more than a tool. Despite the way those with an agenda try to portray it.
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Old 19th September 2017, 9:04 AM   #25
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You know ... when I graduated from college and started my career I was really bad at sales. Horrible at it. Yet, my first job was a sales job. I had to learn, study, and practice to get better. I didn't really get better until an outstanding salesperson took me under his wing and taught me.

To suggest that - because I had to learn the process - I'm somehow a bad person that only preys on the weak is ludicrous. An abuser with a personality disorder that can only sell to the young, naive, and unwary. Victimizing the helpless. It's a ridiculous notion that makes no sense.
OK but sales is all about selling stuff to often weak and naive people who do not really want it, can't really afford it, do not really need it but with the guile of the salesperson, they are convinced to buy it for probably more than it's worth...
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Old 19th September 2017, 9:33 AM   #26
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OK but sales is all about selling stuff to often weak and naive people who do not really want it, can't really afford it, do not really need it but with the guile of the salesperson, they are convinced to buy it for probably more than it's worth...
Wrong.

Sales is about finding solutions and filling needs. That's what the most successful salespeople do. Letting people decide to buy rather than pushing anything on anyone.

I offer an outstanding product. With great service. People come to me with what they want. I give them what they want.

In business ... and my personal life.
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Old 19th September 2017, 9:38 AM   #27
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I dunno, I think most responses here are missing the mark.

What I think the women responding here are missing is that there is many a guy with the conversational skills of Larry King who seemingly can't ever get a woman to feel 'that way' for him. These guys may be the masters of the nice logical interactions that impress the girl's grandma, but they just don't seem to get the girl herself to feel that romantic chemistry for him. These guys do need some guidance--maybe from their successful friends (as noted by @robaday).

Most women will say that "things just happened" but the reality is that in most instances the guy actually moved things along. He was able to both inspire and feel the chemistry and make the appropriate move.

That said though, I'd be really really wary about applying Sales Tactics stuff to your dating life. You just can't "work" a girl up the Yes Ladder into agreeing w romantic involvement w you the same way you'd try to sell someone home aluminium siding. She won't go out w you just because of you convincing her that 'it's a good idea'. Girls give out their number, in some cases even agree on dates, only to not follow through *all the time*. She might not be good at confrontation and saying "no" in the moment due to your "close" but if she doesn't want to follow through, she won't.

Meanwhile, as for the guys who still think PUA is the model for how men and women really end up getting together, you should look at couples you know *in real life*. If you hardly know any, you should read the threads on here written by the women in the "Dating" section especially.
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Old 20th September 2017, 1:51 PM   #28
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Man, so many cliches.

For a start, I was with hot women before I even knew what "game" was. And I have a tonne of pictures to prove it.

This whole "game is for guys that can't get laid" thing is a complete nonsense.

Secondly, when the vast majority of people are judging it, they are judging 1990's sillyness. Mystery and Style going around doing cold reads, peacocking, and negging. Complete nonsense.

There was a new wave in England during about 2007 to about 2014 that took things to a spiritual level that most people have no idea about. Because it was underground, as most great things are.

Lastly, I would challenge the constant idea that women are these innocent victims that are being preyed upon by the big bad wolf.

I'm seriously telling you straight that no woman is hanging around with any guy that isn't giving her some sort of value. You stop giving her value? You are getting dumped real quick.

Please
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