How do you make text messages "fun"

[Cookiesandough]

How can someone be a more entertaining texter?.I mainly like to use text to set up date. Maybe some small talk...if I must. I want to be a more exciting texter, it just seems so strange to have drawn out, passionate conversations via text. Is it just me? Do you guys talk about deep or exciting subjects when you text? How do you manage that? Examples? Thanks.

[basil67]

Cookies, be yourself. If you don't see the attraction in long text conversations, (I can't see the attraction either) then make it known from the start.

[kazen]

Here's the thing about guys, talking isn't the fun part, doing stuff is. I think guys have to learn to "talk" with girls to attract them but girls have to learn to "play" with guys to win them over. That's how the two sexes are different. That's why one of the most attractive quality in a girl is playfulness.

[normal person]

How can someone be a more entertaining texter?.I mainly like to use text to set up date. Maybe some small talk...if I must.

 

Some people just aren't "texters." I know I'm not, and I can sense when a girl isn't either. Pick up on context clues. If he's just texting you pragmatic stuff ("Are you free Thursday at 7?"), he probably doesn't need or want you to be entertaining. It can be exhausting. Just yesterday I was texting with this girl I haven't met yet and we'd both send 1 text every 12 hours, then I said "I can see neither of us is a big texter so I'll spare us the small talk until we meet up." She gave the "hallelejuah" emoji and told me I had no idea how much she appreciated it. On the other hand, if the person is engaged, asking you a lot of questions with quick responses, you should sort of make an effort to keep up, but you can slow it down a bit. Take longer to respond. It's texting, the advantage is that you can answer when it's convenient.

 

 

I want to be a more exciting texter, it just seems so strange to have drawn out, passionate conversations via text. Is it just me? Do you guys talk about deep or exciting subjects when you text? How do you manage that? Examples? Thanks.

 

They don't have to be drawn out. Keep them concise but poignant. Strive for efficiency rather than volume. If you want to have a real deep conversation, it's probably better had on the phone or in person (which is difficult if you haven't met the guy yet, so if that's the case you're probably stuck with texting). Otherwise you're going to give yourself carpel tunnel.

 

Here are some things I rely on:

- "What'd you get up to this weekend, I bet you did (strange/exciting/unusual thing), didn't you? You just seem like the type.

- "Did anyone ever tell you you look like X? (include a picture for reference)

- "Take this personality test, I bet you're an X"

 

Then just go from there. It's good to engage emotions and someone's sense of self and why they are the way they are, not just trivial things.

[Michelle ma Belle]

I agree that you need to do what you're most comfortable BUT if you're not a texter then you need to be good at talking on the phone and in person. You can't be bad at both.

 

The problem often comes when you meet someone who is opposite - great at texting but horrible in person. I'm always perplexed by these people.

 

Regardless, I think a nice balance is important between texting and talking on the phone and it's something I personally enjoy for those times when being face to face just isn't possible.

 

To break the ice as well as an attempt to get to know one another a bit better, I often will play 20 Questions (or however many questions). One person asks a question, the other person answers it and then poses their own question back and so on. There are scads of examples online you can research or come up with your own. It's always been an amazing way to start some really great and really important conversations which often set the foundation for further elaboration when we meet up.

 

If you want to sext or start some sexy chat but are unsure of how to get there or hold your own, this game is also a great way to learn about each others likes and dislikes as well as a great way to segway into that domain naturally. Just be careful not to go there too early because it's often hard to reel men back once they've tasted the forbidden fruit

 

Good luck.

[NexttP]

The problem often comes when you meet someone who is opposite - great at texting but horrible in person. I'm always perplexed by these people.

 

I can attempt to explain this as I am one of those that would perplex you XD Easiest explanation, social anxiety. I am a lot better now but I used to be unable to speak to strangers or initiate conversations even with familiar people. However, I was not as anxious when all I have to do was answer questions. With texting (or messaging - like a forum here), I can take my time to write my thoughts. I'm not socially adept so coming up with responses takes a few moments most of the time. In real life, the moment has already passed when I think of a response, but with text the response can magically seem to be "the moment" still even if it was 10 minutes late.

 

To the OP, like mentioned people are typically better at one than the other. If you are good at talking, then just text as if you were talking. You don't need to learn text speech, just type as you would speak. If you can't do that then maybe you aren't good at talking either....? oops =p

 

Or you can just ask them to talk on the phone instead (what's a phone call???).

[bluefeather]

Use memes and spam emojis. That's what the millennials do.

 

You can have a deep convo with someone in text if you want to. Just treat it as if it was an email or a letter.... or maybe a forum post? It's still kind of a waste of effort on most people, though, IMO. Even if you were the best texters in the world, all communication would be inside of both of your heads. It's as if two people are in faraway cages, talking through staticky walky-talkies. Sometimes the messages don't go through, yet they believe to know eachother so well.

 

Anyway, you seem like a good writer. I'd say to just text as you write.

[normal person]

Use memes and spam emojis. That's what the millennials do.

 

Disagree. This stuff is fun once in a while, but the older a girl is, the less favorably I am of her over-reliance on emojis. I want to feel like I'm talking to an adult, it's hard when she uses a string of stock smiley faces to express herself rather than actual words. To me it seems like emojis and memes are for people who lack the humor to make a joke or articulate their feelings for themselves. It makes me feel like I'm talking to a robot or a toddler. Kind of the opposite of "fun." But that's just me. If a girl held herself to a "one emoji per 100 texts" ratio, I'd say bravo.

 

Anyway, you seem like a good writer. I'd say to just text as you write.

 

Agree. You're articulate and funny, OP. Use what ya got. If you text a guy like you talk here (but concise), I can't see them complaining. I'm not a "texter" but I'd be more than happy to have a meaningful, thought provoking conversation with a girl through text at my own pace, assuming I had the time. You're more than capable.

[bluefeather]

Use memes and spam emojis. That's what the millennials do.

 

Disagree. Etcetera, etcetera...

 

What I said above was sarcasm.

[Steve51]

Deliver them in person. Shows self confidence and women find that sexy. Also allows the other person to see your facial expressions and intonation. That is why there are stand up comics and no texting ones.

[jay1983]

Send nudes

[whatnot]

any text over 6 words...I won't even read it.

[whatnot]

and it can go days before I even know it's there...

[HarmonyDriven]

How can someone be a more entertaining texter? Do you guys talk about deep or exciting subjects when you text?

 

 

Although I prefer to talk on the phone, I have had deep conversations via texting. But, I am always careful to add emojis where needed due to inference. Most anything can be taken out of context.

 

To keep things lively thru texting, I like to use GIFs for their animation. So much to choose from!

[Gaeta]

If I were you I'd just tell my date I am not a texter. My bf told me from the start he doesn't like texting. I was a big texter I adjusted. He doesn't text but he calls.

 

Not texting will actually take some pressure off the relationship, you know how many drama we read on here text-related.

 

You don't need to be fun on text, you sound like a fun person already, he'll see that in person. Try phone calls, it's much better to build a rapport with someone.