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I am not attracted to most men. What is wrong with me?


In Search Of... Having a hard time forming friendships or finding companions, lovers, or associates? Is someone pursuing an unwelcome relationship with you? Talk about your experiences here.

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Old 11th September 2017, 5:59 AM   #31
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There is nothing abnormal about you. Most women are not attracted to most men. After my divorce, I went on about 60 dates before I met my bf. I was attracted to maybe 3 of them. That's a very small percentage. Before I met my ex at 18, I was maybe attracted to 2 (?) guys before that. I'm just picky and selective. If my bf broke up with me today, it would take me a long time to feel attraction to someone else.

OP, you're still not completely over your ex and you were so young (still are) before you dated him. Being selective is a positive trait. You'll eventually move on and find someone else.
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Old 12th September 2017, 1:32 AM   #32
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You're normal. Evolution dictates women are meant to be selective, so you're never meant to be attracted to most men. On the other hand, men are design to be attracted to lots of women so they can spread their seeds.
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Old 12th September 2017, 5:22 PM   #33
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So Kazan. Your basically saying that its easier for men to be friends with women, than vice versa, right?

I feel that way as well. All my female friends are attractive women. I just have to live with it. A couple of them could have their way with me. If they wanted to.
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Old 12th September 2017, 8:57 PM   #34
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So Kazan. Your basically saying that its easier for men to be friends with women, than vice versa, right?

I feel that way as well. All my female friends are attractive women. I just have to live with it. A couple of them could have their way with me. If they wanted to.
Many of my male (and surprisingly female) friends have accused me of friendzoning them. But I think that is because I categorize people into "friends" and "partner" categories pretty easily. I have never had friend feelings grow into partner feelings if you get what I mean.

Tho there was that one time, but I nipped it before it happened because that would have been a terrible thing really and I don't wanna lose friends over this kind of thing.
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Old 13th September 2017, 8:35 AM   #35
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You're normal. Evolution dictates women are meant to be selective, so you're never meant to be attracted to most men. On the other hand, men are design to be attracted to lots of women so they can spread their seeds.
Agreed. It just helps you as a guy if you become selective as well. Allows you to stay out of all kinds of trouble and lets you focus on what you truly want to accomplish.
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Old 14th September 2017, 6:43 AM   #36
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Agreed. It just helps you as a guy if you become selective as well. Allows you to stay out of all kinds of trouble and lets you focus on what you truly want to accomplish.
A person can't be less selective unless they ignore tihings they deem really important in their partner. It essentially against against how they actually feel for just for the sake of being in a relationship with someone
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Old 14th September 2017, 7:23 AM   #37
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A person can't be less selective unless they ignore tihings they deem really important in their partner. It essentially against against how they actually feel for just for the sake of being in a relationship with someone
Yes, I've seen exactly that behavior. Not as a single compromise, but as a slow series of lowering their standards, because that person was in their lives, anyhow. Right up to that divorce from a person they weren't compatible with from the start.
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Old 14th September 2017, 1:53 PM   #38
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Physically. I find most women attractive. Pesonality and status wise. Thats my problem right now. Its meeting a woman that finds me attractive physically/personality wise. We are both single. Thats the tough part.
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Old 14th September 2017, 2:50 PM   #39
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See, I'm weird about this. On one hand, I tend to live up in my own mind a lot. I talk to guys and the first thing I think, for some reason, is what it would be like to kiss them. I wonder how they are in bed. I love love love men. The whole maleness of them. The body hair, the strength, their arms, just whatever it is that makes them manly I absolutely adore.

But damned if that isn't as far as it goes.

I can never seem to make a mental connection with them and when I do, I pick the wrong ones. One was married. One was abusive. The others drove me crazy with how ate up with them I was.

I haven't had sex in forever because I just can't get attracted enough to do it! ! And frankly, it's driving me out of my mind.

I wish I could find somebody that would check all of my boxes. Some sarcastic little sexy thing with an awesome sense of humor. I did but he was married and gone now. I didn't even have sex with him. I was scared. It's all I think about now. .. having sex with him. Ugh.

I have no idea what thread I have replied on. Completely lost my train of thought. Ugh

Last edited by K.K.; 14th September 2017 at 2:51 PM.. Reason: grammar nazi
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Old 14th September 2017, 4:38 PM   #40
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Yes, I've seen exactly that behavior. Not as a single compromise, but as a slow series of lowering their standards, because that person was in their lives, anyhow. Right up to that divorce from a person they weren't compatible with from the start.
In that sense being less selective is not the solution then.
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Old 14th September 2017, 4:46 PM   #41
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See, I'm weird about this. On one hand, I tend to live up in my own mind a lot. I talk to guys and the first thing I think, for some reason, is what it would be like to kiss them. I wonder how they are in bed. I love love love men. The whole maleness of them. The body hair, the strength, their arms, just whatever it is that makes them manly I absolutely adore.

But damned if that isn't as far as it goes.

I can never seem to make a mental connection with them and when I do, I pick the wrong ones. One was married. One was abusive. The others drove me crazy with how ate up with them I was.

I haven't had sex in forever because I just can't get attracted enough to do it! ! And frankly, it's driving me out of my mind.

I wish I could find somebody that would check all of my boxes. Some sarcastic little sexy thing with an awesome sense of humor. I did but he was married and gone now. I didn't even have sex with him. I was scared. It's all I think about now. .. having sex with him. Ugh.

I have no idea what thread I have replied on. Completely lost my train of thought. Ugh
You replied on my thread. I asked a question regarding my attraction level to men and that the reason I never really dated before my first love was because I wasn't physically attracted most of the men I came in contact with. I liked my ex personality wise and his looks. It has been a year and I haven't found another person like this. It was like he was the exception.

I have the same sex problem. I don't really do hookups and I am horny as **** since my ex left. He refused to hookup with me after we broke up. It sounds silly, but the fact that he didn't wanna hook up with me after we broke up made me feel worse because he didn't even want me for my body.....I oddly felt totally dicacared but it was probably for the best sigh...
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Old 14th September 2017, 6:05 PM   #42
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In that sense being less selective is not the solution then.
That's why I advocated men to be selective as well.
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Old 14th September 2017, 9:43 PM   #43
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My wife is not attracted to most men either visually or sexually. We tested that. My wife finally realized that she is bisexual after we had a threesome with her bi best friend. We did not know the gf was bi either. Happy coincidence but then again, every women I had a relationship with, all four, are bisexual and I did not know it at first. This is a mystery that I will never solve. My wife has a theory that once they have sex with me, they are turned off of men.

My wife is sexually attracted to young male studs and not so fussy about woman. Sex with females is just her preference, not her need. She is bisexual and struggled for many years confused about her sexuality. She had great sex with me and our girlfriend but when she finally tried another guy, she hated it and told me she never wanted to have sex with any male but me.

My wife wants a male for marriage, romance and dating. She only prefers women for sex. She has had sex with a female close to 3,000 times over our 45 years of marriage since her longtime girlfriend lived with us full time for several years and then part time after she got married. She never went on a date with any or them. Outside of the bedroom she was never intimate with them. She could do anything two women can do in bed but once sex was over, she never kissed or hugged a girl. In fact, she only had sex with women if I took part. That is due to not wanting to feel like she is a lesbian. With me taking part she could tell herself that sex with other women was just an extension of heterosexual sex with me. She did not call herself bi until she was 63. So it can be very confusing once you find that you are attracted to the person and not so much their gender.

Just be who you are meant to be. Sexual identity is not black and white. There is a lot of gray area in-between hetero and non hetero. We all fall somewhere in the line between the two ends.
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Old 16th September 2017, 6:30 AM   #44
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My wife is not attracted to most men either visually or sexually. We tested that. My wife finally realized that she is bisexual after we had a threesome with her bi best friend. We did not know the gf was bi either. Happy coincidence but then again, every women I had a relationship with, all four, are bisexual and I did not know it at first. This is a mystery that I will never solve. My wife has a theory that once they have sex with me, they are turned off of men.

My wife is sexually attracted to young male studs and not so fussy about woman. Sex with females is just her preference, not her need. She is bisexual and struggled for many years confused about her sexuality. She had great sex with me and our girlfriend but when she finally tried another guy, she hated it and told me she never wanted to have sex with any male but me.

My wife wants a male for marriage, romance and dating. She only prefers women for sex. She has had sex with a female close to 3,000 times over our 45 years of marriage since her longtime girlfriend lived with us full time for several years and then part time after she got married. She never went on a date with any or them. Outside of the bedroom she was never intimate with them. She could do anything two women can do in bed but once sex was over, she never kissed or hugged a girl. In fact, she only had sex with women if I took part. That is due to not wanting to feel like she is a lesbian. With me taking part she could tell herself that sex with other women was just an extension of heterosexual sex with me. She did not call herself bi until she was 63. So it can be very confusing once you find that you are attracted to the person and not so much their gender.

Just be who you are meant to be. Sexual identity is not black and white. There is a lot of gray area in-between hetero and non hetero. We all fall somewhere in the line between the two ends.
I am too monogamous to ever be in that situation. I do not want my partner sleeping with anyone but me and to be frank I liked getting ****ed by men. I like the masculine vibe, I like being carried to the bed like princess, being held down so that I can't move etc. A woman cannot satisfy that need for me. If I did sleep with a woman I wouldn't let a third party in let alone a man to lust over an intimate moment of mine. Again, I do not think it is an issue with my sexuality.

I'm Curious, what r ur thoughts on male bi sexuality?
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Old 20th September 2017, 7:13 PM   #45
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I have tried to get on to tinder to try some online dating.
I just can't bring myself to meet anyone.

All the guys I think are okay (looks wise) end up just being douchey or boring. (How do you even talk to a stranger?)
I just get sad again. The more of these guys I talk to the more I miss him, I miss him more than when I was just single. We used to go the same college, had things to talk about, peers in common...
I know he isn't coming back so I have to find someone else but why haven't I found someone yet?

People here always seem to "find someone better" at least within a year.
Maybe I sound give up, and live the sugar baby life. I have been thinking about it.
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