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Mixed signals from a girl


jonwashington

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jonwashington

There is a girl at work who looked at me everyday and i would also look at her...after many days of this i started to smile at her and she would smile, turn red and say hi to me. One day she dropped something on purpose, it was very obvious, and asked me to pick it up for her since she would have had to walk around the cubicle to get it. One day I then asked her her name and we talked for a little bit I just asked her where she lived in how she liked working for this company we work for and she seemed very nice and playful. I made a mistake by asking her to come to my house to watch a movie. ( im more low key) which she replied " you dont want to ask me out for a drink?" I guess that was a bad move. Now whenever i see her she always says hi and even goes out of her way to say hi to me. But whenever i ask her out for a drink she says she has problems with the father of her child or something and that im cute but she cant right now. I dont know always an excuse.she says "why do you like me im fat". She is not fat just working with maybe a little extra, but shes beautiful. I guess i am saving myself from baggage. She always looks right at me and smiles like she wants to deep down. This past weekend i asked her if she wanted to come out for a drink with me and i saw she read my message but didnt respond. Today i saw her and she ran passed me like a little girl laughing with her friend. Didnt say hi to me though. Whats happening here? Maybe i screwed up asking her to come to my house...but i can feel she likes me..maybe just forget her ? I mean i have tried everything. Im just confused. Maybe she just likes the attention from a somewhat cute guy ( me) at work and thats all?

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Maybe she was interested to some degree initially, possibly also she just didn't take you seriously.

Asking her over to your house was a bad move. I'm not sure why you'd suggest that for a first date?

 

Either way it sounds like you have repeatedly asked her out for a drink and she has declined so take that as not interested.

She is still friendly with you - she has no reason not to be,

 

Best to move on and also it's best not to get involved in any romantic way with work colleagues.

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It's just one of those things. Men tend to invest quicker, and women tend to filter more at that time. It's easy to "screw up", and shouldn't be taken that serious :D

 

Starting stronger, and with more commitment to your attraction, gives you so much of a headstart with women. It puts you in such a good place for everything else. It's the most important aspect of dating for a man, imo.

 

If you focus on anything in particular, focus on your approach. It's the basis on which to build everything else.

 

The problem really comes from not asking out enough women. Then when one comes along that you do try with based on whatever circumstance (usually proximity for guys not asking out enough women, such as work), you are rusty as hell - making a clumsy go of it. That's normal. Then a rejection seems like a big deal, because it's the only real one that you've faced in however many months.

Edited by Bastile
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jonwashington
It's just one of those things. Men tend to invest quicker, and women tend to filter more at that time. It's easy to "screw up", and shouldn't be taken that serious :D

 

Starting stronger, and with more commitment to your attraction, gives you so much of a headstart with women. It puts you in such a good place for everything else. It's the most important aspect of dating for a man, imo.

 

If you focus on anything in particular, focus on your approach. It's the basis on which to build everything else.

 

The problem really comes from not asking out enough women. Then when one comes along that you do try with based on whatever circumstance (usually proximity for guys not asking out enough women, such as work), you are rusty as hell - making a clumsy go of it. That's normal. Then a rejection seems like a big deal, because it's the only real one that you've faced in however many months.

 

Starting strong with more commitment to attraction? Meaning i should really take baby steps? Giving a women more time/ reason to become attracted? Can you explain??

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You don't ask women on a first date and especially women from work over to your house! It sounds like a booty call whether it is or not. And even if it's not, how lazy!

 

And the other issue is she sounds like she's not ready to date and may still have emotions for her ex, and who doesn't.

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