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It could have been us.


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I have a story to share. This story is not about me, not entirely anyway

 

We all have those stories about how one of your old crush marrying, and you ended up wondering about how it would have been if it was you instead. Or if you started to date a nice girl/guy and feel satisfied seeing your ex all alone. 'Too bad for her, if only she didn't leave you', you thought.

 

Well my story is a bit different.

 

I had a female friend, let's name her Lisa, about 4 years back. Have a bit of crush on her but she didn't give me any chance. Staying on friendly term thoroughly till now though. Before we met, Lisa was dating another guy, even moving to my city to be with him, but he broke up with her soon after. She was then chasing another dude, very artistic, studying cinematography. I was a bit dorky and a science guy so obviously not even have any chance. I, that girl and another 3 more made a team of 5 friends through those years. And then we all parted

 

Recently I started to get on social media. And in the past week or so Lisa started to write and share a lot of post. Apparently she just felt lonely, probably heart-broken, by some flashy new guy who chased after her for the game and ended up leaving her. And then she was writing lots about how people should appreciate those quiet and nice guys that I still could recognise myself to be.

 

I don't know, it just made me feel so nostalgic right now. Back then, I was willing to trade the world of her. Now through I already got over it and are not willing to look back. But still she is a dear friend, so I can't find the joy of seeing her suffering. On my side, on one hand my mind is clouded by a self-pity how I could have made her happier. But then frankly I am quite satisfied about my life right now, and not willing to trade what I have to dwell in those self-pity.

 

I don't know , it just feel a very mixed of emotions. It's not sad. It's not happy/ triumphant. Just nostalgic

 

Is it normal? Am I weird in this? Do you all also have stories like these?

Edited by Pocketstar
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What could have been is a dangerous line of thought. Truth is you couldn't have made her happy because she wasn't romantically interested in you. It takes two to make a good union, not just one who is willing to overinvest despite the other one's lack of interest. Sorry to be blunt, but there's no point you dwelling on this. Best be thinking of how to meet other women and find one who likes you for you. They're out there.

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JuneJulySeptember
I have a story to share. This story is not about me, not entirely anyway

 

We all have those stories about how one of your old crush marrying, and you ended up wondering about how it would have been if it was you instead. Or if you started to date a nice girl/guy and feel satisfied seeing your ex all alone. 'Too bad for her, if only she didn't leave you', you thought.

 

Well my story is a bit different.

 

I had a female friend, let's name her Lisa, about 4 years back. Have a bit of crush on her but she didn't give me any chance. Staying on friendly term thoroughly till now though. Before we met, Lisa was dating another guy, even moving to my city to be with him, but he broke up with her soon after. She was then chasing another dude, very artistic, studying cinematography. I was a bit dorky and a science guy so obviously not even have any chance. I, that girl and another 3 more made a team of 5 friends through those years. And then we all parted

 

Recently I started to get on social media. And in the past week or so Lisa started to write and share a lot of post. Apparently she just felt lonely, probably heart-broken, by some flashy new guy who chased after her for the game and ended up leaving her. And then she was writing lots about how people should appreciate those quiet and nice guys that I still could recognise myself to be.

 

I don't know, it just made me feel so nostalgic right now. Back then, I was willing to trade the world of her. Now through I already got over it and are not willing to look back. But still she is a dear friend, so I can't find the joy of seeing her suffering. On my side, on one hand my mind is clouded by a self-pity how I could have made her happier. But then frankly I am quite satisfied about my life right now, and not willing to trade what I have to dwell in those self-pity.

 

I don't know , it just feel a very mixed of emotions. It's not sad. It's not happy/ triumphant. Just nostalgic

 

Is it normal? Am I weird in this? Do you all also have stories like these?

 

When I look back on the women I have had huge crushes on, but ended in unrequited love, my reaction with a clear head is "WTF was I thinking?"

 

I don't know how it ended up that way, but it's true. The women who fit that profile are just way off for me.

 

Every now and then, I do think back to an ex-girlfriend and think about how things might have been if her and I were together.

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Cookiesandough

it's just not useful to think about those sorts of things. Maybe things would have worked out if you had met at different time, maybe not. There is no way to tell. People typically spill that that stuff all over their social media after they get hurt, but they're right back on the same horse again because their brooding comes from a place of emotion and no introspection.

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Some of the women I have tried to get involved with. I say to myself why. It was all about physical lust. Thats why I try to think with my brain for the most part.

 

I go by personality first. Thats hard because if they don't have that physical lust for you and vice versa, nothing works.

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