Jump to content

Have you met anyone decent through online dating?


Recommended Posts

I've recently signed up, but in the past few weeks as I'm chatting with potentials, I'm learning they're either extremely shy, recently went through a breakup, or have a personality flaw (arrogance, rude, tell you whatever they think you want to hear...) I'm wondering if anyone has met someone authentic via online dating?

  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites
Cookiesandough
I've recently signed up, but in the past few weeks as I'm chatting with potentials, I'm learning they're either extremely shy, recently went through a breakup, or have a personality flaw (arrogance, rude, tell you whatever they think you want to hear...) I'm wondering if anyone has met someone authentic via online dating?

 

I'm sorry I'm sure people can give success stories, but I just wanted to say my assessment has been exactly like yours.

 

They seem socially inept. 2/3 (4?) guys I've met on there made a comment about how glad they were I was not overweight on our 1st date. Yeah, it's not gonna work

Edited by Cookiesandough
  • Like 3
Link to post
Share on other sites
rightondude

I've met someone very special through Bumble.

 

I've met a couple of nice girls through Tinder. It seems lately that 90% of Tinder is bots, though. Not sure how Bumble defeats that but I've never seen any (obvious) bots on it.

 

Never had a bad experience with anyone I've met. I tend to veer on the safe side (i.e. wanna see Facebook first).

Link to post
Share on other sites

I only did OLD for 90 days 10+ years ago so my experience isn't very relevant. I went on 3 dates. One guy was awful but had looked good on paper. The other two were perfectly nice guys, intelligent, stable, kind. . . I just didn't find them attractive enough to continue dating.

 

My husband told me about his experiences. He met a lot of gold diggers, one woman who wanted an instant dad for her kid & some woman who wanted him to convert to some odd religion.

  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites

I met my current boyfriend on Tinder. We've been together over a year now - we're living together and get along amazingly. He's handsome, has a great job, graduated from an Ivy League college, is close with his family, gets along well with my kids, and is the kindest person I know. He has his faults - messy, not the best listener, and has the most horrible taste in music (metal, dubstep, etc. blech!), but everyone's going to have something you won't like.

 

The three other guys I went out with prior to him (I was only on OLD for two months), were decent guys as well, but I just wasn't feeling it with them.

 

Decent people are out there on OLD. You just have to filter appropriately.

Link to post
Share on other sites

I personally know three people, all friends, who met and married a person they met online. They are all still married and my wife's girlfriend is on her 25th or so wedding anniversary. To show you how good online dating is, she found a guy who allowed her to split her time between her marriage and our ploy triad. The others have conventional marriages. The other two friends are guys and one married a divorced woman with two teenage boys and the other met a woman who was not married before due to pursuing her career.

 

All said that they had a lot of sex on the first date with people they met online before meeting the one. Apparently some people use online dating to have sex when they do not have the time to date or want to pay for it. Women have it harder since they will get a lot of interest from day one. Men may go weeks before their first day. Worth a shot as I do not know anyone who tried it and did not meet someone to marry.

Link to post
Share on other sites
normal person

Online dating has become a de facto method for meeting people. You'd be surprised about the caliber of people using it. It's used people both very discerning and not. It's up to you to use your own personal filter and go out with people who you think will be worth your time and not the bums. My good friend (a pharmacist) met his wife on there as have quite a few other people I know. In the few years I've been doing it, I've met a lot of people. Most of them perfectly nice, one or two horror stories, and plenty of really well put together, accomplished, sensible people, including:

 

- Doctors, lawyers, engineers, architects

- Successful actors (Broadway and soap stars)

- Models

 

Lots of people use online dating simply because they don't have the time or circumstances convenient enough to be meeting people left and right, they're too busy working and doing the things that make them appealing to begin with. Successful, attractive peoples' time comes at a premium. OLD saves a lot of time. So use it efficiently and don't waste your time on anyone not worth it. You'll be less frustrated.

  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites
I've recently signed up, but in the past few weeks as I'm chatting with potentials, I'm learning they're either extremely shy, recently went through a breakup, or have a personality flaw (arrogance, rude, tell you whatever they think you want to hear...) I'm wondering if anyone has met someone authentic via online dating?

 

Yep! I signed few weeks ago super skeptical, nevertheless open to meet someone special... And omg I'm so smitten with my date (the very first guy I met from old this time around)... We're planning date 4 now and it has been magical so far:) I hope it never ends!

 

Last time around I also met my bf of 2 years on OLD. It works!

  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites

I was on OLD for a month about 1.5 years ago, mostly out of curiosity. I quickly realized that I had a much easier time meeting women IRL than on OLD, and stopped it. So no, I have not met anyone decent. I was talking to a few women but quickly lost interest.

 

That being said, I met very decent women online, just not through OLD services.

  • Like 2
Link to post
Share on other sites
OatsAndHall

I did quit a bit of dating via OLD until the last year and it is hit or miss. I got one decent long term relationship out of it but I also managed to pick up a stalker that I ended up calling the police on..

 

The dates with women who didn't work out were the same way; feast or famine. The first few dates were either a lot of fun as the women had a fair amount of experience dating and were relaxed. They just didn't work out, for one reason or another. Or, the dates were a nightmare for any variety of reasons.

 

Here is what I believe you need to realize about OLD; it can tie up an incredible amount of time and energy for very little return. Women become inundated with message after message and they have to sift through them. Men, on the flip side, send out message after message and then wait for responses.

  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites

Ive met quite a few great guys online and had several longish relationships with people i met on tinder and okcupid. I have met some flakes but my experiences have mostly been very positive.

Link to post
Share on other sites
bluefeather
I'm learning they're either extremely shy, recently went through a breakup, or have a personality flaw (arrogance, rude, tell you whatever they think you want to hear...)

 

Yes to all of the above, but have also met some cool ones. For me, it's kind of like real life: It's full of people I don't like, but there are also a few that I really click with.

Edited by bluefeather
  • Like 3
Link to post
Share on other sites

I think you have to be able to apply a way to filter out all the trash faster and easier in order to get to the people who you would spend time with..

 

First off... don't hit someone up by picture alone, if you do then you missed your first opportunity to filter out undateable people.

 

Read the profiles and study them.. there are ways to read profiles to weed out people who waste your time, ie: escorts etc... or people who appear crazy or humorless.

 

I met my wife on match and we have been married almost 10 years now so my experiences aren't as valid as they used to be but I didn't have any problem dating online, sure I met women who wasted my time but as time went on I learned who to contact and who was serious.. I had many relationships that were born out of OLD before I met my wife too...

 

I also think the "you have to kiss many frogs to find your prince" applies to OLD as well... many people create a profile, fall in love with one picture, contact them and get rejected only to then blame OLD for their failure and in reality it can be a numbers game but you have to also be sincere in your contacts with people online.. women can spot desperation a mile away..

  • Like 2
Link to post
Share on other sites

I too wasn't impressed with online dating but gave it one more try. That's how I met my fiance since he sent a message even though he lives in western Europe. We messaged for a short while, met in real life and it went from there. So maybe it's luck and timing. It might depend on how picky you are.

  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites

Yep. All of the above. Met my current fiance, who I've been with for over two years, on OKC. You just have to go on dates with no, or low, expectations and sometimes you're pleasantly surprised. More often than not, the person isn't a match but, hopefully, at least some decent conversation.

 

It's like going to Vegas. If you assume you're going to win or won't have fun if you don't win, then you'll likely not have a really good time!

Link to post
Share on other sites
hippychick3

I met my current bf on Match almost 4 years ago. From the time of my divorce until the time we met, I probably went on 50-60 dates. I dated about 10 of those men for a short period of time . About 20-25 of the dates were "quality" men (educated, intelligent, somewhat attractive, mature, etc.) who would have been a great match for someone else but just didn't do it for me chemistry-wise. The others were meet ups who had too many issues.

 

So yes, there are really good men out there. You may just have to weed through a lot of not so good men to find him...just like in real life.

Edited by hippychick3
  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites

From a male perspective, I found that about 1 in 20 contacts was worth meeting. Of that roughly 100, only one or two weren't decent matches or good people - but only about a dozen were a great matches and developed into something beyond a few dates. As for the rest, mostly a lack of chemistry/attraction in person. I met my wife through OLD. There are millions of success stories for OLD, but it can often take a lot of time, persistence, and poor matches - it's a numbers game, really, but some people get lucky and meet someone quickly.

Link to post
Share on other sites
I've recently signed up, but in the past few weeks as I'm chatting with potentials, I'm learning they're either extremely shy, recently went through a breakup, or have a personality flaw (arrogance, rude, tell you whatever they think you want to hear...) I'm wondering if anyone has met someone authentic via online dating?

 

When you're dating when you're older, You will meet men with the same issues offline as well, so it's not an online thing. The main problem with online is that it is not organic, but the main problem with offline is that a lot of people will be taken.

  • Like 3
Link to post
Share on other sites

l was only on it a few mths 3yrs back . Tbh , l did meet 3 really great women , the rest were mad, or only separated or just idiots or you name it, but these three ,were all great ladies.

The thing was, l talked to about 50 or something to find just these 3 and although they were really nice girls, none of those l would've even gone for in RL anyway , l find out in 2 seconds when l met them in person.

At least though it was a pleasure to meet them non the less.

 

Don't think l could face a date site these days though.

  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites
When you're dating when you're older, You will meet men with the same issues offline as well, so it's not an online thing.

 

Yes, but many things are much easier to hide online. It is much harder to deceive somebody in person. That's also why I believe that there is an adverse selection process at work when it comes to online dating.

 

The main problem with online is that it is not organic, but the main problem with offline is that a lot of people will be taken.

 

I think the main problem with offline is that many people are simply scared to approach another person. Those who aren't won't mind if the person they are approaching is taken all that much. I can't recount the times I've had a fun chat with somebody already in a relationship. But for an introvert or somebody with social anxieties this would probably be pure hell.

  • Like 2
Link to post
Share on other sites
Michelle ma Belle

I've been doing OLD off and on for a few years. I've tried different sites hoping for different results and in the end they're all pretty much the same.

 

OLD dating can feel like a game and requires a LOT of patience as you vet through prospects.

 

As many crazy and questionable experiences I've had, I've also been lucky enough to have met some really wonderful men. Not all have turned out to be long term or even romantic relationships necessarily but I'm grateful for them regardless. I'm all for meeting new people and making new friends.

  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites
OatsAndHall

I also discovered that many people who use OLD are serial daters (I was one of them, unfortunately) and that has it's downsides. I had many great first few dates with women because they had quite a bit of dating experience and could put on a good show. But things fell apart down the road because some serious red-flags were masked by that dating experience. I went out with a woman a few times and we had a great time together. However, when I cancelled a date with two day's notice because of work, she flipped out and text bombed me for two hours. It was a complete 180 from what I had experienced on our dates.

  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites
×
×
  • Create New...