deliverymyheart Posted July 10, 2017 Share Posted July 10, 2017 (edited) the worst thing imaginable happened to me... and i dont know if i can ever recover. So basically i met someone, i believed there was an attraction there. However i noticed this person was very shy. So after a year of this going nowhere. I make a move, it ends badly. This person start rambling, making up lies. Then she looses her temper and storms off. So i take that as a sign to back the **** up.. so i do. now mind you i run into this person months later at a bar, i dont waive hi or speak. but she sits at this bar alone and just stares. Now months go by again.. Im hanging out with friends we are bar hopping. She says hello to me.. i respond. Some how later that night we begin speaking. She starts off by saying im drunk, and sometimes you hurt my feelings. I apologize, but thats not good enough. She states i make her uncomfortable, she did nothing to lead me on why did i approach her. Mind you she is screaming this and the entire bar stops and watches us. now im dying of embarrassment i try to calm her down by pointing to my friends that im sitting next to.. and i say this is the past im just trying to have a good time with my friends. she screams noooo and continues yelling and cursing at me. so my friend pulls me out of the bar.. and she yells back **** u!. so not only did my feelings get her ..to get it disrespected like that. Moreover, i feel awful that maybe i misread the signs but i feel like **** now for trying to act on them. to make matters worse, i feel like i cant do this. i cant face that bar, the people, myself really. My friends love this bar or bars in that area. I dont think dating is for me... im horrible.. and screwed up. how can i face myself. Ps there is more to the story but i cant type that much we will be here all day. Edited July 10, 2017 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Link to post Share on other sites
mikeylo Posted July 10, 2017 Share Posted July 10, 2017 You've got nothing to lose ! She sounds mentally unstable. Chin up and move around 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Arieswoman Posted July 10, 2017 Share Posted July 10, 2017 Delivery, She sounds like a freaking nut-job. Her behaviour only reflects on her, not you. This is not your fault. Keep out of her way and she'll soon find someone else to scream at 1 Link to post Share on other sites
anika99 Posted July 11, 2017 Share Posted July 11, 2017 I don't know what you mean when you say you made a move on her. Do you mean you asked her out on a date? If she went that crazy over just being asked out then she has big issues that have nothing to do with you. Or by making a move do you mean you physically touched or groped her in some way? If you two were dating and you attempted to take it to the next level that would be normal and understandable. However if the two of you were not dating and by making a move you mean that you attempted to get physical with her then you were way out of line. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
mikeylo Posted July 11, 2017 Share Posted July 11, 2017 I don't know what you mean when you say you made a move on her. Do you mean you asked her out on a date? If she went that crazy over just being asked out then she has big issues that have nothing to do with you. Or by making a move do you mean you physically touched or groped her in some way? If you two were dating and you attempted to take it to the next level that would be normal and understandable. However if the two of you were not dating and by making a move you mean that you attempted to get physical with her then you were way out of line. Makes a lot of sense. Didn't think that way ! Link to post Share on other sites
somanymistakes Posted July 11, 2017 Share Posted July 11, 2017 I don't think I totally understand your story right now. You flirted with someone who was drunk and she screamed at you to get away. Is that it? I'm not sure why this is the 'worst thing imaginable' or why you posted it in abuse though. I know it can be very upsetting to be at the center of a Scene, particularly if you are a shy person and you don't like being the focus of attention. It probably made you feel very helpless and embarrassed, especially if she was accusing you of things you didn't do. I'm not trying to minimise this or say that it wasn't painful, because yes, that can totally be upsetting and embarassing!! However, unless you actually grabbed her or something, it doesn't sound like you really did anything unforgivable... it sounds like she was just drunk and angry and went off on you a bit. That happens, and doesn't necessarily mean you are awful, it can just be that she was drunk. As for the embarrassment, I can promise you that everyone who works in that bar has seen MUCH worse happen. Some people get very angry and ranty when they drink. I mean, sometimes fullscale brawls break out for no reason. Angry drunk people swinging chairs over head, police sirens, all kinds of things. So you don't need to fret that you are now going to be remembered forever as That Horrible Person just because a scene happened there. Unless someone actually tells you that you are banned from the bar (which I doubt), don't worry too much about that part. Probably no one else will really care. Whether you have problems with dating in general is a separate issue. You said: I make a move, it ends badly. This person start rambling, making up lies. Can you explain more what you meant here? What kind of 'move' did you make, and how did it go badly, and what sort of 'lies'? If you made a huge mistake then maybe we can help you figure out so that it doesn't happen in the future, but we need more details first. Link to post Share on other sites
Author deliverymyheart Posted August 7, 2017 Author Share Posted August 7, 2017 thank you for the response somanymistakes. Basically, i approached her and was like i feel like we have a vibe i think you are pretty. She then goes off and says how she isnt having sex, she hasnt had sex. She then changed the subject again and was like i wasnt born here im leaving i have no ties. I then call her bluff because when we first met she told me she was from florida. Long story short i took it as she wasnt interested so I backed off and never spoke to her again. This was back in January. Now mind you 6 months later she goes bonkers. i got an apology fyi anyone interested she messaged me 3 days after this incident happened. Link to post Share on other sites
Author deliverymyheart Posted August 7, 2017 Author Share Posted August 7, 2017 I don't know what you mean when you say you made a move on her. Do you mean you asked her out on a date? If she went that crazy over just being asked out then she has big issues that have nothing to do with you. Or by making a move do you mean you physically touched or groped her in some way? If you two were dating and you attempted to take it to the next level that would be normal and understandable. However if the two of you were not dating and by making a move you mean that you attempted to get physical with her then you were way out of line. no I didnt physically touch her at all. I did exactly that i asked her out and she lost it. Now mind you i asked her out back in January. she declined i moved on. She went off on me in July over something happened months prior. So idk. Link to post Share on other sites
GemmaUK Posted August 8, 2017 Share Posted August 8, 2017 Either she is a total nutter or you have creeped her out in some way. I was in a situation once where the only way to ensure any safety was to go massively over the top in public. I was alone amongst people on a train and was being quietly followed and quietly threatened with up-coming rape once I got off the train. Blowing up publicly at the guy and telling him exactly what he was doing whilst the carriage of people overheard was the only way to alert people I was in danger. This was extreme but I would have no problem doing the same thing again. In your first post you say there is more to the story. I'm not suggesting you did anything like what I experienced but if your friends and folk at the bar know you so well then an outburst like this and just one incident from one person like this should be water off a duck's back and they will know she is a psycho so the title 'How can I face myself' seems a bit over the top. Just forget about it if all that happened was you asked her out once. It'll just be a joke amongst your buddies for a couple of weeks is all. Importantly though - if someone states as she did that you make her uncomfortable this is your cue to stop talking and walk away - it sounds like you didn't do that. Don't stay and try to talk to anyone who tells you something like that. If this was the type of incident which has happened to lesser degrees in the past - that's when you can identify that there is a problem in your approach. Link to post Share on other sites
kazen Posted August 10, 2017 Share Posted August 10, 2017 She's just crazy that's all. Avoid her at all cost. Your story reminds me of this one incident I witness. I was at a gas station and this girl was sitting alone at the bus stop, and one guy walking along the street approach her. I assume he was trying to pick her up. And she immediately got up and started screaming at him "JESUS is my savior! blah blah blah" I mean like she was screaming so loud people thought she was being assaulted. The guy hurry away as quickly as he could. I laugh so hard. That girl was freaky. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Cookiesandough Posted August 10, 2017 Share Posted August 10, 2017 there's either way more to the story or she's bat$@%& crazy. Why let what an obviously unhinged person said determine how you feel about yourself? They're irrational 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author deliverymyheart Posted November 1, 2017 Author Share Posted November 1, 2017 Past: I asked my crush out things went sour... words were said by her. Apologies were made.. we never spoke following that. it has been 2-3 months.. Now Present day: Lately I have been getting blocked calls from 12 midnight-3 am. I will answer and the person would never speak, and finally I would hang up. After this happened 3xs a week I began scouring the internet for my phone number to remove it from any form of social media. Finally I discover my info is on messenger. I now notice an ex crushes phone number.. i store it and use the whatsapp to see if she has my number saved. she does... so i say nothing and she says nothing to me. I go MIA off the app for a while she then follows my lead a few days after i return. I then delete the app because the whole reason i downloaded it was to view who had saved my number. I re download out of curiosity she then does the same. So I wanna kinda hit her up so we can atleast can build a strong friendship bond.. Im not interested in anything else right now. Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted November 1, 2017 Share Posted November 1, 2017 She's ringing you at 12-3am and hanging up on you. Why would you want to try and turn crazy ex into strong friend? This is lunacy. Even if you're really low on friends, surely you can do better than friendship with a crazy ex. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author deliverymyheart Posted November 2, 2017 Author Share Posted November 2, 2017 I’m so drained. I put 2 years into putting time into someone that couldn’t even text back... I feel defeated and exhausted. I know I need to move on distract myself.. keep busy with hobbies or get back into the dating scene but I just can’t. I feel like the ground is swallowing me up, there is a black pit in my stomach. I’m stuck somewhere between give up or step up and put myself back out there. Link to post Share on other sites
Author deliverymyheart Posted November 2, 2017 Author Share Posted November 2, 2017 She's ringing you at 12-3am and hanging up on you. Why would you want to try and turn crazy ex into strong friend? This is lunacy. Even if you're really low on friends, surely you can do better than friendship with a crazy ex. Well said my friend. Link to post Share on other sites
Author deliverymyheart Posted November 11, 2017 Author Share Posted November 11, 2017 I need some tips please. I have tried everything to keep my mind busy. I have tried sleeping around... dating/ courting new woman. However, when I finally stop and allow there to be alone time. I find myself wanting to hit up someone that isn't good for me? why is nothing working?.... Link to post Share on other sites
Trip2TheSky Posted November 11, 2017 Share Posted November 11, 2017 Stay single for a while. It seems to me that you are not over that ex of yours, so a detox from relationships is a good idea. It will enable you to rediscover who you are and then you will be able to form something substantial with the next suiter who trots along. Good luck and do it for yourself. You won't regret it. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted November 11, 2017 Share Posted November 11, 2017 Find other more healthier things to do than self destructive dating. Get some hobbies. Take up playing guitar, take up a sport....something to fill your time and your mind. Link to post Share on other sites
coolheadal Posted November 11, 2017 Share Posted November 11, 2017 I need some tips please. I have tried everything to keep my mind busy. I have tried sleeping around... dating/ courting new woman. However, when I finally stop and allow there to be alone time. I find myself wanting to hit up someone that isn't good for me? why is nothing working?.... Sleeping around is dangerous with the STI/STDs/HIV and the warts etc. Why subject yourself to that. Why don't you take a long vacation somewhere nice. One of the islands. Or rent a fishing boat for a day..I did that once I couldn't dock it and slammed into the dock. LOL 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author deliverymyheart Posted November 11, 2017 Author Share Posted November 11, 2017 lol thank you. that was hilarious any major damage done to the boat? and I will try and find something Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts