Mysterio Posted May 6, 2017 Share Posted May 6, 2017 What do you think from your gender point of do's and don'ts would you suggest while dating. From a male persepctive. Keep everything light and easy going. Don't go into heavy subjects. Be honest, but not if its going to be used against you. So if you cheated on your ex. There is no point in telling the new person your dating about it. Even if you do. Try not to curse. It just sends bad vibes. Be well dressed and groomed. Think Cary Grant/Denzel Washington are always dressed up for the most part if you are a guy. Be Real and don't put on a persona. Better to say your a Trump fan than be fake and say your not if asked. Tv/Movies/Music/books/Art/Travel are safe topics to mull about. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted May 6, 2017 Share Posted May 6, 2017 I can only offer the female perspective because I have never been a guy. But I would caution both genders against being clingy & expecting too much too soon. Genuine intimacy takes years to build. You don't need to disclose your most intimate secrets, hopes & fears on the first date 1 Link to post Share on other sites
caveman621 Posted May 6, 2017 Share Posted May 6, 2017 FYI, I'm a guy. I just think, go on dates. Especially if you're doing OLD. I think a lot of people only want to date the perfect match. Go. Be yourself. TRY to have fun. A drink with someone is still probably better than another night at home watching NetFlix, right? This doesn't work as well if you're only looking for sex or looking for a life partner on the first date. I say, just go. Try to have fun. Be yourself. If the you and the other person don't click, that can be the end of it. At least you'll have an evening out and maybe a funny story to tell your friends about the horrors of OLD. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted May 6, 2017 Share Posted May 6, 2017 There are so many fears and expectations when you first meet. I think if you are just now getting to know the person, it's best to keep things light, as Mysterio said, and keep things in the middle ground. I mean, you don't know anything about the person, and one little thing can scare a new person off. Like politics or religion. An example is a liberal might be able to tolerate a conservative if they were so lowkey about it that the subject didn't come up until they had been dating a couple of months. A person might think, well, I hate conservatives, but at least he doesn't shove it down your throat, and so they might tolerate you. I mean, people are people and there's good things and bad and no two people agree on everything anyway. Certainly agree with the "too clingy" and "too fast" comments. Dating is dating, not marriage. Anyone who moves too fast is in love with their ideal and not ever really seeing you for who you are, so that's a red flag. I know a guy who did that. He was psyched up to marry a girl if she accepted a date. It was crazy. He didn't even know them, and it's insulting to know someone isn't really trying to "see" who you are but just wants to place you into their script. Men light funny, slightly flirty, lightly touchy without being too forward -- confine it to a light quick hand touch on their arm or back, and really women like the same thing. These small gestures don't hover like an omen but instead make you simply seem open to the possibilities. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
GravityMan Posted May 7, 2017 Share Posted May 7, 2017 Do: - use common sense - be yourself - dress for the occasion - have fun, relax and try to live in the moment - be attentive without being overbearing - listen Don't: - be a "tryhard" - overthink things - be overly sensitive or unnecessarily hard on yourself if something goes wrong or if you say something a bit awkward. A little awkwardness here and there may actually be appealing - if you're able to make light of it and let the moment roll off your back. (It all comes back to self-confidence.) - expect too much too soon - let yourself get too invested too soon Honestly, a lot of this applies to many aspects of life, not just dating. Dating doesn't have to be "night and day" different than other kinds of social interactions. I also think caveman621 has a good point. Just get out there and meet people and date. Just go for it. Especially if you're young and inexperienced. You'll learn a lot about other people. More importantly, you'll learn vital things about yourself. With direct experience (both good and bad) you'll eventually learn what truly appeals to YOU and what doesn't. Dating is one area where too much advice, tips, analysis, etc may actually be bad for you...even if the advice itself is good. Link to post Share on other sites
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