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dateless and 24


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ok just a random question is it really that hard to find a gf these days. u guys seen my pic i ain;t ugly. 24 m never had a gf or date and its is bugging me so bad these days. i just want to go on a date just one and maybe kiss a girl on the cheek would be good. i don't want to be 33 or older and still dateless. what 16 yr old males have had with a women i haven't even experineced. shyness and quiitness is to blames but i am conqueitring that fear now by talking to more ppl. i just trying to make more guys freinds and hoping that one of em would hook me up with a gal. so to u guys is it really that hard to find a gf or date or a gal to hang out wiht and please some advice. this subject is bugging me for agessss

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Hey joel, how's it hanging. Do you just keep posting looking for a different answer or what?

Will you continue the trend of never answering your responses?

 

Inquiring minds want to know. :laugh:

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talkin to more ppl and being more fiendly and taltive unlike when i was younger all shy and quite. still no speical girl in my life

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The more you obsess over finding a gf, the less likely you'll get one. I've seen it many times. As soon as you become truely content being single, you'll find a SO. It's all about confidence. When you're happy being single (ie you dont care or even look for a partner), you're confident in yourself. Confidence is attractive.

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alphamale
Originally posted by tiki

Please schedule an appointment with Alphamale.

:laugh: not even I can help this one.

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whichwayisup

Joel, seems you lack self confidence. Once you have that and are happy and secure with who you are - The women will find you.

 

Confidence, self respect and self love. I suggest finding someone to talk to, a professional. Just to help you get in a better frame of mind.

 

What do you love most about yourself? What are your good qualities? Write a list.

 

Anyway, hope this helps.

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amerikajin

You're 24 and dateless. Come back to us when you're 44 and dateless - then you might need to start wondering.

 

And even if that's the case, guys have it easier than women in that regard.

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can't afford pro help-no job and is a student.

44 and dateless -wow thats brutual-i would have married or dated any girl by then even if she was fugly.

guys have it easier than women lol-gals do. who approaches-the guy, who ask her out the guy , who pays-the guy, who does the chase-the guy who decides if she should continue her relations with him the girl.

who faces rejections and embarassment-the guy. guy does a lot of the work man-the gal just have to look pretty and she'll get numbers and decide from there if she should continue dating him

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amerikajin

Joel,

 

Trust me, bud, when I was 24, I was probably just about as dateless as you are now. I was lucky once in a while, but like you, I had the same self-doubt syndrome. The only difference was, I stopped making it such a priority in my life. I didn't put myself on the shelf, but I stopped making so much of my self-respect dependent upon dating women. As well, looking back on it all, I realize that I had a lot to learn about the opposite sex, that I didn't have the right social skills to deal with romantic situations. And even now, I'm still in the process of learning - I think we all are, which is why we're on this site right now.

 

Don't quit, but use this as a time of reflection. In fact, the thing you should be doing now is not berating yourself, but instead taking the pressure off of yourself and use this time to start studying women. Go into this period with the attitude that "school is in session"and that you're going to give yourself some time for some classroom study and real world practicum. Hell, in that sense, you have an advantage that I didn't have, because I didn't start taking that approach until just recently, like say within the past year or so. Instead, I continued walking around ignorant of what women wanted, and it cost me a relationship with someone I really cared about. This doesn't have to be you. Stop sulking, and start studying the opposite sex. Women are fascinating creatures :) . And when you finally feel it, you'll know that love is an awesome feeling - something that's well worth the wait.

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Originally posted by joel

i would have married or dated any girl by then even if she was fugly.

 

Niiice. I'd love to be a consolation prize. :rolleyes:

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alphamale
Originally posted by amerikajin

Trust me, bud, when I was 24, I was probably just about as dateless as you are now. I was lucky once in a while, but like you, I had the same self-doubt syndrome. The only difference was, I stopped making it such a priority in my life. I didn't put myself on the shelf, but I stopped making so much of my self-respect dependent upon dating women. As well, looking back on it all, I realize that I had a lot to learn about the opposite sex, that I didn't have the right social skills to deal with romantic situations. And even now, I'm still in the process of learning - I think we all are, which is why we're on this site right now.

the above pretty much describes me also, AMERIKAJIN. I really did not hit my stride with the ladies until I hit 27 or 28. Up thru college I was still pretty much deathly afraid of females but I outgrew it over time. I believe there are many men who don't come into their own with the opposite sex until they hit their 30s or even 40s. But sadly, some dudes never figure it out.

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amerikajin

I know the analogy is tired, but we are all like our own type of flower; we bloom at different periods. I was always envious of my high school and college buddies who seemingly found it much easier than me to pick up the girl of their choice. But now, if I were at a singles party with them, I'd feel relatively confident that I'd be able to walk away with a phone number or two for myself.

 

Joel, don't put too much pressure on yourself. Don't feel like you have to be "da man". Don't feel like you have to be in a relationship. If you want a relationship, then keep your eyes open for someone who interests you, but don't knock yourself down if love never results. I think half of your problem is the pressure you put on yourself. It's destructive because most women want to start out casually - even with someone they really feel attracted to. If a love is ever to take off, both people have to find a comfort zone.

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