LookAtThisPOst Posted January 30, 2017 Share Posted January 30, 2017 Me and my male friend had discussed the more attractive ladies in our social circles and one in particular had gotten my attention (very nice smile) is a woman whose first name is...well, it was an Hispanic, rather common female name , which to him is a turn off. Kind of like "Bertha" or 'Poindexter". I was like "Dude, really? I'd be on that if her name was Ingrid or Bertha, don't matter to me! LOL" And he was like, "Well, that's you then." Kind of made me figure out why he's been single for so long though. Would this be considered one of those irrational dating preferences? Link to post Share on other sites
Imajerk17 Posted January 30, 2017 Share Posted January 30, 2017 LATP, I do marvel at how you just keep coming up w these questions It would be very hard for myself to date someone whose first name is that of my sister or mother. So sure, neuroassociations with names are a factor for some people. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
RecentChange Posted January 30, 2017 Share Posted January 30, 2017 Okay I know this is going to sound bizarre. My dad has a very common male name. My maternal grandfather, uncle, and step brother share the same name. My mother has a less common first name. My paternal grandmother, aunt (paternal uncle's wife), share the same name. So obviously they all did not have an adversion to dating people with the same names as their fathers / mothers / sisters / brothers. Personally, a name wouldn't be a deal killer, but some names are "hot" while others are unattractive. I had a favorite BF in highschool with an unappealing name. I find my husband's name quite appealing though. I have a name that men often compliment (if they are trying to flirt at least ) 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Lilyana76 Posted January 30, 2017 Share Posted January 30, 2017 I guess a persons name isn't really a deal breaker to me. I think I now have an aversion to any male whos first name starts with "J", Just because most of the men I've dated and my ex hubs first name all started with "J". So if a man introduces himself to me and says, "Hi, my name is Jack".. I think "runnnn" in my brain right away lol Link to post Share on other sites
GorillaTheater Posted January 30, 2017 Share Posted January 30, 2017 I think I now have an aversion to any male whos first name starts with "J", Just because most of the men I've dated and my ex hubs first name all started with "J". Funny you should mention that, because the OP got me thinking about irrational attraction as opposed to unattraction, and the names I thought of were "Judy" and especially "Julie". The Julies and Judys I've known have all been great people, and I automatically have positive thoughts about women with those names. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
losangelena Posted January 30, 2017 Share Posted January 30, 2017 Tell your friend he's an idiot. 8 Link to post Share on other sites
GunslingerRoland Posted January 30, 2017 Share Posted January 30, 2017 It would be very hard for myself to date someone whose first name is that of my sister or mother. So sure, neuroassociations with names are a factor for some people. You're lucky you don't come from some of the many European and Asian countries that have like 5 total names. lol Link to post Share on other sites
Author LookAtThisPOst Posted January 30, 2017 Author Share Posted January 30, 2017 Tell your friend he's an idiot. Yeah well, I know what you me, but this is QUITE telling of the shallow/superficial society in which we live. I'd never thought a person's first name would be a deal breaker. I think when people ask you, "You're how old and your'e still single? Why?" Well, that's kind of a good example as to why. I mean, I could give a rats behind if Cindy Crawford was Ingrid Crawford. (just an example.) LOL Link to post Share on other sites
bebe23 Posted January 30, 2017 Share Posted January 30, 2017 This guy sounds like a Jerry Seinfeld episode. "I didn't like her first name." "She had big hands." "She was only pretty on one side" 3 Link to post Share on other sites
carnelian Posted January 30, 2017 Share Posted January 30, 2017 One time many years ago I placed a personals ad listing all the girls names that I liked--and said if you have this name please answer. Whole ad. Got a modest number of replies, no special dates. Names mean a lot to me-- maybe I sound shallow, I don't care. So if you are a Connie, Robin, Margaret, Tracy, Crystal, please respond! I love Crystal. Link to post Share on other sites
Author LookAtThisPOst Posted January 31, 2017 Author Share Posted January 31, 2017 Funny, I know of a lot of Russian hotties that have those "Olga" or "Ingrid" ....you know, Russian type names...and I could give a rats behind. Link to post Share on other sites
Michelle ma Belle Posted January 31, 2017 Share Posted January 31, 2017 *shaking my head* I am continually gobsmacked by some people. Yes, there are definitely sexy names and then there names that are far less sexy BUT to let that be your guiding compass to finding a suitable mate??? Yeah, sounds a bit loco to me never mind uber superficial. Too each their own I guess :/ 2 Link to post Share on other sites
bebe23 Posted January 31, 2017 Share Posted January 31, 2017 Maybe it has to do with women's names that sound like they are an older generation. For example, it would be odd to see a 25-year-old today named Judy or Linda. Link to post Share on other sites
mightycpa Posted January 31, 2017 Share Posted January 31, 2017 Matilda, my favorite. Link to post Share on other sites
Michelle ma Belle Posted January 31, 2017 Share Posted January 31, 2017 Honestly, if you fancied someone who had some cringe-worthy name, just come up with a cute pet name or nickname for them, or call them by their middle name. I mean, there are options if you really had to seek them out. Unless I'm introducing my partner to someone or I'm especially angry with him and want him to know I mean business, I will rarely utter his birth name out loud. I've always been someone who uses pet names or terms of endearment with my partners, and vice versa. Problem solved Link to post Share on other sites
SoulCat Posted January 31, 2017 Share Posted January 31, 2017 Years ago I had a friend whose girlfriend was called Zita. A very pretty name but unfortunately the family labrador had the same name.... Link to post Share on other sites
Lilyana76 Posted January 31, 2017 Share Posted January 31, 2017 I've had men get really disappointed when they realize my name isn't actually Lily.... Yes its the same "username" I was using on OLD sites. Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted February 1, 2017 Share Posted February 1, 2017 Sounds like a guy who's looking for any excuse not to date women. Just a thought. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
WaitingForBardot Posted February 1, 2017 Share Posted February 1, 2017 Years ago I had a friend whose girlfriend was called Zita. A very pretty name but unfortunately the family labrador had the same name.... Along the same lines: Many years ago I was walking across campus and my dog was misbehaving and running off so I yelled her name at the top of my lungs. A woman about 20-30' away turned around, glared at me, and yelled right back "WHAT!!?" I tried to explain I wasn't yelling at her and that it was my dog's name, but by that time my dog was long gone. JFYI, the name was not a common one. So back on topic: Was it unnatural that I felt attracted to a woman with the same name as my dog? ..lol.. Link to post Share on other sites
misspond Posted February 1, 2017 Share Posted February 1, 2017 "Can you believe what reasons some people use not to date?" Asking for a friend...... Link to post Share on other sites
GemmaUK Posted February 2, 2017 Share Posted February 2, 2017 Me and my male friend had discussed the more attractive ladies in our social circles and one in particular had gotten my attention (very nice smile) is a woman whose first name is...well, it was an Hispanic, rather common female name , which to him is a turn off. Kind of like "Bertha" or 'Poindexter". I was like "Dude, really? I'd be on that if her name was Ingrid or Bertha, don't matter to me! LOL" And he was like, "Well, that's you then." Kind of made me figure out why he's been single for so long though. Would this be considered one of those irrational dating preferences? I don't actually think this was about the name at all. I think your friend was just trying to get you off his case over his dating life/ If this is the friend for whom you are always concerned about his dating life then it can get pretty old. I have one or two folk who seem to have barely any other subject than my dating life and I've put them off by stating flippant 'anything' type remarks myself just to get them to stop. Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted February 2, 2017 Share Posted February 2, 2017 Funny, I know of a lot of Russian hotties that have those "Olga" or "Ingrid" ....you know, Russian type names...and I could give a rats behind. Ingrid is actually a Scandinavian name. It bring to mind a beautiful Nordic woman. Link to post Share on other sites
salparadise Posted February 2, 2017 Share Posted February 2, 2017 (edited) Ingrid is actually a Scandinavian name. It bring to mind a beautiful Nordic woman. No kidding - so glad they didn't name her Bertha. I know for sure that I develop associations and biases based on people I've known and the related experiences. I would have a very hard time trying to develop positive regard for a woman with the same name as my ex-wife. Other names seem to be inherently desirable (or not) in their own right, and my guess is that it's based on either learned reactions that are generalized or the combination of sounds. I chose my daughter's name because of a positive association. There was a lovely young woman working in a store that I went into often. She had the same coloring as my wife and myself, and she was attractive, smart, social, and highly competent. Just one of those people with a glowing aura that makes everyone want to smile and be her friend. I didn't know her on a personal level. So when our daughter was born (we chose not to know the gender) we had a few boy's names in mind, but we hadn't settled on any girl's names. It was a long labor and we were both exhausted, her more than me understandably. So I just intuitively pulled that name almost out of thin air––but I had consciously though that I liked that name when I was admiring that young woman and thinking how proud her father must be. I never told my now ex-wife about the association. I just said I liked the sound of it. My mother died just two months before my daughter was born. Some of my aunts (Mom's sisters) thought I should name her after my mother, and it would've been appropriate. But, I thought... what if my daughter turns out to be nothing at all like my mother. Wouldn't that be confusing, and what if she couldn't live up to that name (Mom was highly respected) and felt pressured and judged based on the precedent. So I decided to keep them separate. It turns out that my daughter did turn out to be a lot like my mother, and she wears my mother's ring set in her honor. It was completely my daughter's idea and it's nice to feel that connection. So if I met a wonderful woman with my ex's first name... I wonder how they'd feel if I said, "would you consider keeping your last name and changing your first name? How does Ingrid sound to you?" Edited February 2, 2017 by salparadise Link to post Share on other sites
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