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Are Lust/Love Intertwined?


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I have been on relationship message boards for years. The pattern I see is that a lot of us, feel we are lacking love. If we are not in a romantic relationship. Something is lacking.

 

Its very troubling to hear young people despair over not getting a date or having a love interest on a daily basis. All these things we have to go through. Fighting jadedness. Connecting romantically with another person. Not letting our Past affect our current relationship.

 

Sometimes I wonder if all this love stuff is bascially Lust in disguise. What is Love and what is Lust. They are so intertwined.

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To me….

 

LUST is sexual desire.

LOVE is emotional attachment.

 

I can have lust without love, and love without lust.

 

Romantic love is love AND lust.

 

Humans have a desire to connect with others emotionally. Humans have an innate desire for sex. And most of us want to have someone in our lives to share those things with. Pretty simple I think. Its connecting with the right people that many struggle with.

 

And keep in mind, while some despair, and struggle with being “jaded” there are many who do not have those same experience – you just probably do not read about them on relationship forums.

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Regarding people despairing over not having frequent dates....

 

I think a lot of the problem is how so many people seem to treat dates and dating like commodities. 'You want a date? Sure, just go and select one from online'. (OK, it's not as easy as that for everyone).

 

When there was no OLD, we weren't able to jump straight back into dating because we needed to wait until we stumbled upon a nice new person. This gave us time and space to recover and regroup.

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To me….

 

LUST is sexual desire.

LOVE is emotional attachment.

 

I can have lust without love, and love without lust.

 

Romantic love is love AND lust.

 

I like this. I don't think love and lust are intertwined but instead are two sides of the same coin. Unfortunately, each takes different qualities and skill sets in order to be satisfied. I think for those of us in the "struggling guy" category, the love side comes more naturally - finding mutual lust is way more difficult. It's the opposite for most "normal" people who don't have trouble getting dates, hooking up, etc.

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For me they are intertwined. One does not grow out of the other, they are intertwined from the beginning. I am looking for someone who feels the same.

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