summersolstice Posted December 3, 2016 Share Posted December 3, 2016 I have tried almost everything with no success yet and I don't know what else to do with my dating situation at this point. I've been single a few years now, just dated off and on (wasted time basically). Speaking of which, I'm currently seeing someone but I use that term loosely because we barely see or talk to each other and when we do, it always turns sexual. I almost feel like we're role playing being in a relationship whenever we communicate because he always says all this stuff like "I miss you" "We need to do this and that together" or something else really sweet but none of the things he has said he wanted to do has ever happened (this has been going on for two years off and on). Therefore, I don't even take any of his comments seriously. I find myself wanting more now and whatever excitement I got out of our "situation" in the beginning is becoming repetitive and boring. I need someone who wants do non-sexual things with me and will actually follow through on plans to do them. The problem is, I don't really meet men in public..at all. I mean I get looks but no one actually approaches me or really shows any definite signs that they are interested. At one point, I let people who are already happily married to the person they were looking for, make me think I was being too picky (it's always the ones who are happily taken that are quick to tell a single person that) and I decided to try dating men I knew I wasn't really compatible with even though they were so-called "nice guys". Obviously that didn't work out either. The only real dating prospects I seem to have at the moment are exes trying to convince me to take them back, men who are ALREADY taken or in some other situation I don't want to be involved in, or guys I turned down previously attempting to give it another try despite the fact that there have been clear signs that scream we aren't right for each other. I would love to start fresh with someone new. I previously tried free online dating sites but I've found that most of the men there are not really serious about dating and will often make themselves out to be something they are not just to get your attention. I would think a paid dating site like Match might be different because you're actually paying. Is this true? Anyone ever successfully meet someone from that site or any other paid dating sites? Better yet, any other advice to give on how I can get out of this mess I'm currently in???? Link to post Share on other sites
DarrenB Posted December 3, 2016 Share Posted December 3, 2016 Anyone ever successfully meet someone from that site or any other paid dating sites? Better yet, any other advice to give on how I can get out of this mess I'm currently in???? Obviously paying for membership or benefits on a dating site will help your exposure and expand your profile, but I don't think it's much different to being a non-paying member. Some of my older friends had suggested me to look at Match.com. I spent a month on there and to no avail was I to find anyone really that compatible with myself. I personally wouldn't suggest it or paying for the benefits. It all depends on what you're trying to look for upon signing with these sites. Match.com seems as if the features it has are great and that they will work in your favor, but again that differs and is also debatable. All and all, the expense isn't worth it. POF (Plenty of Fish) on the other hand, is a better site than Match. There is more features that non-paying members are able to use. Again, results will differ of course based on your location, age and characteristics. If you haven't already tried this out, I would suggest it over any other as a last resort. It's likely you will come across people you know. I've met up with 2 people actually who were also members of POF... small world I suppose. Worst comes to worst, forget limiting yourself to dating sites and attend local events and try your luck in reality. All the cliche things like joining a gym, attending open mics, local gigs or just going to a bar or something with some friends may work in your favor. Link to post Share on other sites
OatsAndHall Posted December 3, 2016 Share Posted December 3, 2016 I was also pointed to Match by a friend after becoming frustrated with the others and I was disappointed. In fact, I met a woman that I called the police on through Match. We were "matched" well according to the site, her profile was well written, she was well-spoken and educated and enjoyed each other. But, the crazy stuff started popping up slowly but surely.. It's a Catch-22 as people who are looking for a more serious relationship are more apt to pay for an OLD site. I have found more people with professional careers and a stable life on Match. But, in my experience, the paid sites also attract people who have am unrealistic view on the dating world. Both sexes seem to think that their search algorithms and "preferences" are going to land them their dream partner. And, to be blunt, there are many guys on Match that are still looking to get laid but they just happen to be a little smoother talkers. Link to post Share on other sites
Mrin Posted December 3, 2016 Share Posted December 3, 2016 I tried Match, POF, Tinder and OKC. I liked Match the best and actually met the love of my life on it. We've been together for 2.5 years and still going strong. The degree to which site works for you is based off where you live and your demographic. Give it a try and good luck! 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Newcitygirl Posted December 3, 2016 Share Posted December 3, 2016 Try using Bumble if a girl. Girls make the first move. Tips: use good photos and get on during the busier times of the day (lunch and 6pm). I've gotten tons of matches. This is a free app and better quality guys IMO. Link to post Share on other sites
Author summersolstice Posted December 5, 2016 Author Share Posted December 5, 2016 Try using Bumble if a girl. Girls make the first move. Tips: use good photos and get on during the busier times of the day (lunch and 6pm). I've gotten tons of matches. This is a free app and better quality guys IMO. That's a new one for me. Never heard of it. Maybe I'll give it a try and come back with a verdict. (yes, I'm a girl lol) Link to post Share on other sites
BluEyeL Posted December 5, 2016 Share Posted December 5, 2016 I also used several sites and I found match to be the best. I met my fiancée there, we've been together 2.5 years and getting married next summer. Another friend of mine met her husband on match after being 2 weeks on there after I recommended the site to her. I wasn't as lucky it took me 18 months. I say try it but don't go in with expectations to meet someone in a month. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
PegNosePete Posted December 5, 2016 Share Posted December 5, 2016 I found absolutely no reason whatsoever to pay for a dating site. You can get them for free so why waste your money? You're unlikely to meet any different number / quality of people on different sites. The often quoted "if you're paying then you're more likely to meet people who are serious" argument falls apart quickly when you consider the consequences of the "create an account and look around for free" advertising tactic that almost all of them use. Link to post Share on other sites
LexiCat29 Posted December 5, 2016 Share Posted December 5, 2016 I met my man on Match so I'd say yes..yes it is. I know what you're saying Pete about the non-paying sites, but I only ever met losers on the non-paid sites... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts