There are those that prefer OLD over real world interaction

[LookAtThisPOst]

Was talking to a male friend of mine from on of the Meetup groups as I haven't seen him in a good while at the events. I asked him what's he been up to lately and he said, "I've been dating around, working on the house, spending time with family, etc."

 

We got on the topic of online dating, which is his main source for dating these days and typically has been doing it more frequently than going to real life events.

 

Another friend of mine said he started doing online dating more frequently as there simply wasn't any women he'd be interested in dating in his group.

 

Now, this wasn't really a cause/effect thing...is just...happened over time. Online dating slowly eased into their lives more frequently to the point they thought the real world didn't offer much in dating opportunities.

 

Well, at least the opportunities of meeting people in person...but wouldn't have an interest in dating and thus the more frequent visits to dating sites.

 

With the advice given here about "getting out in the real world to date" it seems people in general are putting more stock or faith in online opportunities.

 

One of my friends said, "You get to meet people that you would not otherwise meet." I was like, "True, but...you have the real world too" and that's when they would say that there's simply no interest in the people they've encountered that they'd like to date.

 

In fact, I know of some people that bring their online dates to the events. lol

 

So believe it or not, there are some people that banking their method of finding love by online means.

 

After a certain amount of time, does that qualify one to put all their eggs into online dating?

[Expectmore]

I met my wife online.

It was a matter of not having the time to invest in going out to meet new people.

Also helps weed out a lot of mismatches you may have wasted time on purely over a physical attraction.

You can't just start quizzing someone on their beliefs, do they like dogs, do they have a good job,,list your hobbies and how you spend your free time on this napkin and I will review it and get back to you shortly?

You can do exactly that online. Then the fun starts when you meet and already know a little about them.

However any one can misrepresent online or live so be careful.

But overall I am a fan of OLD

[LookAtThisPOst]

I met my wife online.

It was a matter of not having the time to invest in going out to meet new people.

Also helps weed out a lot of mismatches you may have wasted time on purely over a physical attraction.

You can't just start quizzing someone on their beliefs, do they like dogs, do they have a good job,,list your hobbies and how you spend your free time on this napkin and I will review it and get back to you shortly?

You can do exactly that online. Then the fun starts when you meet and already know a little about them.

However any one can misrepresent online or live so be careful.

But overall I am a fan of OLD

 

Thing is people can easily write others off or at least look for a reason not to date someone.

 

For instance, a woman in my area, locally, says she'll ONLY date local. I found that odd as I am usually going beyond the reaches of this city by at least an hour to meet for dating...but hey, it's a perk that she lives closeby.

 

When I contacted her, she said I was too young.

 

She was 45, I am 44. I responded with, "I bet if you met me in person, you'd not even know the difference."

 

My point was, the fact she knew my age...she made it a deal breaker.

 

Also, what's good on paper my not be representative of them in real life. A lot of what people right are fluff of sorts.

 

They give a list of descriptors like, "I'm easy going, love to laugh" or "My friends say I am...." and list those rather similar adjectives as seen in every profile pretty much.

 

I have a female friend who is an avid Christian, but not rolling in the aisles Christian, but low key. She's in her chorus, but outside the drop down menu where you have to choose religion, she chose "Christian" and said nothing about it in the body of her profile.

 

She told me she did that on purpose because she's learned any mention of it in their profile may lead others to believe she's one of those strange, judgmental holy rollers...which she's not.

 

She thinks that people in online dating probably think of a worst case situation when reading over the person's profile, when really it's no biggie at all HAD they met them in person.

[NuevoYorko]

You seem to confound meetup groups with "real life." Sure they are real life, but many people either don't choose to mix dating with meetup groups, or they simply aren't interested in anyone in their meetup groups.

 

This is all a guess, however; I've never experienced any meetup groups. I definitely have met people to date in real life, and never through OLD.

 

Online dating offers this one great thing: people on it are there to find dates. At least one won't be accidentally approaching married folks in Starbucks, or hitting on someone who happens to be on their way home from the hospice where their mom is dying of cancer (true story); they'll be approaching others who are actively interested in dating. Then the issue becomes simply whether they are interested in the individual who is showing interest in them.

[Imajerk17]

LATP, you covered this topic on here before I believe. Several times already in fact. It's not hard to see what is happening.

 

On the one hand, if you live in such a small town, most people there are already taken. Someone may make it a point to approach someone in the grocery store or Starbucks (a good thing if done the right way), but there just aren't enough single people in their age range to make this very productive.

 

Besides, what if you like the activity in question (e.g., CrossFit, Meetup) and rather not deal w the awkwardness of regularly seeing someone there whom you dated.

 

On the other hand, you take way too literally the words others tell you. It's been said on many of your threads already. If your friend made contact w someone and sparks are flying, he will.ask her for a date.

 

At the end of the day, it's all about attraction and chemistry. Maybe it was there from the beginning or maybe it appeared after quite a while, but it's got to be there for something to happen. There's no Magic Medium where someone "has to" engage you and consider you for a date.

Edited November 28, 2016 by Imajerk17

[GunslingerRoland]

I don't see why this is a big problem. I met my wife online, many years ago, before online dating was a big thing. But if I was single now I'd probably put all my eggs in that one basket. It's just not my personality to go hit on random women in public. And I don't have a lifestyle that introduces me to a lot of single people through organic means.

[Miss Peach]

I met my XH online. I met my last 3 BFs through meetups. Two of them I probably wouldn't have looked at on OLD. Both methods have their own place IMO.

[Weezy1973]

I think both are good ways to meet potential dates, and I can also see why some might prefer one over the other depending on their personalities. Not really a right or wrong to this one..

[No_Go]

I strongly prefer OLD over IRL dating, if this means meeting in events, randomly etc.

 

The reasons are:

1) I like the WRITTEN communication in the beginning waaaaay over conversation - gives me record and time to process thoughts

2) I know the intention of the person upfront (I HATE wen someone just flirts for the flirting... Not my cup of tea)

3) I can run some background checks on the person to feel safer (if contrast to going out with the dude from the frozen food isle or other 'organic' meets

4) first dates are not awkward because we both know the purpose (Meetups e.g. are very awkward for dating because you never know is the person there just for the event, to make friends or to search for a mate)

 

Even prior to OLD I was only falling for dudes that will initiate some form of written meaningful communication with me...

 

I know this is not the approach for everyone, but for me (introverted, not that visual, intuitive, love data) OLD is actually pretty good.

 

 

Was talking to a male friend of mine from on of the Meetup groups as I haven't seen him in a good while at the events. I asked him what's he been up to lately and he said, "I've been dating around, working on the house, spending time with family, etc."

 

We got on the topic of online dating, which is his main source for dating these days and typically has been doing it more frequently than going to real life events.

 

Another friend of mine said he started doing online dating more frequently as there simply wasn't any women he'd be interested in dating in his group.

 

Now, this wasn't really a cause/effect thing...is just...happened over time. Online dating slowly eased into their lives more frequently to the point they thought the real world didn't offer much in dating opportunities.

 

Well, at least the opportunities of meeting people in person...but wouldn't have an interest in dating and thus the more frequent visits to dating sites.

 

With the advice given here about "getting out in the real world to date" it seems people in general are putting more stock or faith in online opportunities.

 

One of my friends said, "You get to meet people that you would not otherwise meet." I was like, "True, but...you have the real world too" and that's when they would say that there's simply no interest in the people they've encountered that they'd like to date.

 

In fact, I know of some people that bring their online dates to the events. lol

 

So believe it or not, there are some people that banking their method of finding love by online means.

 

After a certain amount of time, does that qualify one to put all their eggs into online dating?

[dumbass2]

In this day and age, OLD is real world interaction