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She says maybe then a yes


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So I was walking this girl yesterday who was my lab partner for this semester. We've already finished our final lab for the semester, so we won't be working together in class anymore, so I decided to ask her out that moment. I first asked her: Hey do you wanna have dinner with me this weekend? She said depending on if she has time, then yes. I then narrowed it down to Saturday night, saying that time works best for me, and then, she said she said most likely, she's free Sat. night too so yes. But it didn't feel like an unequivocal 100% "yes". What does her response mean?

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If you nailed down a specific time and place, then yes means yes.

 

If you left anything up in the air, then yes means maybe.

 

Why are you doubtful?

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If you nailed down a specific time and place, then yes means yes.

 

If you left anything up in the air, then yes means maybe.

 

Why are you doubtful?

 

Lack of confidence I guess? She said "maybe" at first, then I narrowed it down to a particular day and she seemed to have said yes, but she may have hesitated. It may just be going on in my head, but part of me feels like I cornered her and she didn't want to reject me even with an excuse (like "I'm too busy", or somehting like that).

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Lack of confidence I guess? She said "maybe" at first, then I narrowed it down to a particular day and she seemed to have said yes, but she may have hesitated. It may just be going on in my head, but part of me feels like I cornered her and she didn't want to reject me even with an excuse (like "I'm too busy", or somehting like that).

 

Well, your next step (I hope you have her contact info, if you're not due to see her again) is to call her and give her the specific time and place - and arrange how you're each going to get there. I'm assuming you'd be comfortable picking her up, since you've had class with her. Or, whatever works.

 

Just go for it! Pick a great spot. Fun, but not out of your price range. Good luck!

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She may have been juggling other offers. Not necessarily from other guys, maybe her sister wanted to go shopping with her at the weekend or something. So she gave you a tentative yes pending finalisation.

 

Nail down a time and place, and don't over-think it. Yes is yes.

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Maybe couldn't think of an excuse to decline on the spot, maybe not totally into it, maybe not sure but thinks she is free. The proof will be in whether or not she comes through. Generally if someone doesn't come through and comes up with a reason they can't go out with you after being free, it means they are not interested or low interest. Let's face it, no earth shattering even will really pop up for her between now and Saturday. If she had, say, concert tickets she would be going no matter what "came up"".

 

Play it out, but if she cancelled or had something suddenly come up, I wouldn't put much more effort in to it.

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Maybe is a soft no. Plus she may have been caught off gaurd and not even thought of you in a Romantic way.

 

Any slips ups from her. Just ignore it and move on. Don't just take any bad behaviour of broken dates.

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I would say the only way you can know for sure is just to try and pin her down to a specific time. If she was trying to get out of it, she will have had some time to think it over and give you a reason why she cannot. On the other hand, she could honestly just be a busy young lady. So she may be interested and trying to fit you in. Keep trying and if she postpones a couple times, ask her honestly and calmly (so she doesn't feel on the spot) if she just isn't interested and wants to be only friends. Good luck!

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  • 2 weeks later...

It's pretty clear to me that you got yourself a date... If she said yes, lets do Saturday night, it's a green light. Touch base again and confirm pick-up time. Good luck!

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