Why is my co-worker acting strangely?

[Laprus9]

We've worked together for a few years but we never spoke to each other until about six months ago and we had some good conversations with each other. After those conversation I found myself developing an attraction to her, but it's work and I don't tend to mix work with pleasure. Afterwards I noticed she was around in my vicinity a little more than usual and she would come and say hello to me and strike up small conversations.

 

One day we were talking and she mentioned she was on Tinder looking for dates and that she had a date with a guy and she was telling me how nervous she was. I assumed she saw me as a friend and decided not to pursue her. The next time I saw I asked her how her date went and she told me she messaged him asking him if they were still going out and he never responded, she then told me she doesn't like being stood up and walked off.

 

Ever since then her behavior has changed. She doesn't say hello, she rarely converses with me, she'll walk past me without saying anything. Occasionally she approaches me and starts a random conversation and she seems nervous around me too.

[PegNosePete]

Seems pretty straightforward to me.

 

She liked you, and let you know she's single by talking about Tinder. She even let you know that the plans with the other guy fell through. She was hoping you'd take the hint and ask her out.

 

But you didn't, so she gave up.

[LookAtThisPOst]

Seems pretty straightforward to me.

 

She liked you, and let you know she's single by talking about Tinder. She even let you know that the plans with the other guy fell through. She was hoping you'd take the hint and ask her out.

 

But you didn't, so she gave up.

 

I fail to see how she was straight forward. You can't possibly know this to be the case. He's nor either of us, is a mind reader. From what was written, I see indication she was interested in him.

[MidwestUSA]

I fail to see how she was straight forward. You can't possibly know this to be the case. He's nor either of us, is a mind reader. From what was written, I see indication she was interested in him.

 

 

So if she wasn't straight forward, how do you pick this up? Subtleties?

 

I'd say it was pretty obvious, but OP's right not to eat near the litter box.

[ChickiePops]

I fail to see how she was straight forward. You can't possibly know this to be the case. He's nor either of us, is a mind reader. From what was written, I see indication she was interested in him.

 

I'm sure the OP is well aware that nobody could possibly know what she was thinking, and that that's why he was asking for advice on the matter...that's the purpose of a website like this..

 

OP I think Pete is right. It sounds like she likes (or liked) you and was signaling that she hoped you'd ask her out and was disappointed when you didn't.

 

So ask her out!

[Laprus9]

 

So ask her out!

 

What a clown I am, I would ask her out but I have two reservations - 1) she is a work colleague. My work place is relaxed with relationships, they don't mind if colleagues date, just as long as the relationship is left outside of work. However, if things go up the creek then I'm worried what that could entail and secondly, I found out she is only 19 years old and I have just turned 27. I feel like that is too big of an age gap, I do really like her, but I am faced with a few dilemma's. I didn't find out her age until today, I thought she was in her early twenties.

[MidwestUSA]

What a clown I am, I would ask her out but I have two reservations - 1) she is a work colleague. My work place is relaxed with relationships, they don't mind if colleagues date, just as long as the relationship is left outside of work. However, if things go up the creek then I'm worried what that could entail and secondly, I found out she is only 19 years old and I have just turned 27. I feel like that is too big of an age gap, I do really like her, but I am faced with a few dilemma's. I didn't find out her age until today, I thought she was in her early twenties.

 

 

With that new info, you were right to steer clear. She'll get over her butt hurt. Don't lose any sleep over it.

[Laprus9]

With that new info, you were right to steer clear. She'll get over her butt hurt. Don't lose any sleep over it.

 

Thanks.

[ChickiePops]

What a clown I am, I would ask her out but I have two reservations - 1) she is a work colleague. My work place is relaxed with relationships, they don't mind if colleagues date, just as long as the relationship is left outside of work. However, if things go up the creek then I'm worried what that could entail and secondly, I found out she is only 19 years old and I have just turned 27. I feel like that is too big of an age gap, I do really like her, but I am faced with a few dilemma's. I didn't find out her age until today, I thought she was in her early twenties.

 

I dated a guy I worked with for 5 years and it was fine..I know it's an unpopular opinion but I don't see an issue with dating someone you meet at work. It's an organic way to meet someone, it's a good way to get to know them before you get serious..but I guess I can see the other side of it as well.

 

The age gap..I understand. 19 is very young. The age gap matters a lot less when you're older..my boyfriend is 9 years older than me and it makes no difference to us, but I am in my early 30s.

 

If you're uncomfortable dating her then don't..as an above poster said, she will get over being hurt that you didn't ask her out. But now you know what signals to look for next time a girl is flirting with you

[whichwayisup]

What a clown I am, I would ask her out but I have two reservations - 1) she is a work colleague. My work place is relaxed with relationships, they don't mind if colleagues date, just as long as the relationship is left outside of work. However, if things go up the creek then I'm worried what that could entail and secondly, I found out she is only 19 years old and I have just turned 27. I feel like that is too big of an age gap, I do really like her, but I am faced with a few dilemma's. I didn't find out her age until today, I thought she was in her early twenties.

 

Let it go. Keep it professional and friendly but don't hang out with her nor give her signs that you're interested. Your work and reputation is more important than hooking up with a 19 year old.