LookAtThisPOst Posted April 23, 2016 Share Posted April 23, 2016 Saw this article in Time magazine stating that sometimes the better option to online dating is through Facebook. That apparently, more is revealed about the person, plus since people meet through mutual friends as it is, it isn't surprising that people have met through mutual friends on Facebook. Though, this is not surprising, that guys would make an attempt to contact a mutual friend on Facebook. "Hey, my friends has a cute female mutual friend on Facebook, I'll introduce myself. And go from there. Is Facebook the Best Marriage Matchmaker? They took it as far as marriage, though I've heard some people...mostly women, expressed a creepiness factor when they found out, through friends...although shared "mutual friends" on Facebook...found this to be quite off-putting. But, with this article...would it make sense to go this direction as an alternative to online dating? A grey area? Does it depend on the connection between those on social media? Link to post Share on other sites
MidwestUSA Posted April 23, 2016 Share Posted April 23, 2016 (edited) I've told the story enough times here, but it's how I met my husband. As it turns out, we grew up about a mile apart, as the crow flies. His brother was in my graduating class. I didn't know my H, as I had graduated before he hit junior high. I friended him not long after I threw in the towel on OLD. It's been four years now. Friended in February 2012, first date in early June. Moved in late July, married in May 2013. It made all other efforts seem like a stupid waste of time, when there was an entire pool of guys with whom I shared mutual friends. Edit: For the record, I contacted him first. Edited April 23, 2016 by MidwestUSA 4 Link to post Share on other sites
PrettyEmily77 Posted April 23, 2016 Share Posted April 23, 2016 (edited) I had one or two 'friends of friends' approach me on there when I was single, and a few of my friends of either gender have such stories. I think it's pretty common, and I personally find it less creepier than being approached out of the blue by a total stranger. It's probably kind of reassuring to have a common point of reference from the outset. Edited April 23, 2016 by PrettyEmily77 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author LookAtThisPOst Posted April 23, 2016 Author Share Posted April 23, 2016 I had one or two 'friends of friends' approach me on there when I was single, and a few of my friends of either gender have such stories. I think it's pretty common, and I personally find it less creepier than being approached out of the blue by a total stranger. It's probably kind of reassuring to have a common point of reference from the outset. Believe it or not, I had a woman that made a post on her page, warning if she finds out men have attempted to contact her mutual friends on FB, she would start unfriending those men. Of course was a known man-hater anyhow *shrug* Link to post Share on other sites
PrettyEmily77 Posted April 23, 2016 Share Posted April 23, 2016 Believe it or not, I had a woman that made a post on her page, warning if she finds out men have attempted to contact her mutual friends on FB, she would start unfriending those men. Of course was a known man-hater anyhow *shrug* She may have acted out of concern on behalf of a specific friend? Unless she's been told by her friends, there's no way she would know. In any case, I can't really see the link with her being a man-hater... 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Kamille Posted April 23, 2016 Share Posted April 23, 2016 That's how my sister met her fiance. He messaged her on Facebook, told her their mutual friend thought they would be a great match and invited her out to coffee. Elegantly done and the wedding is in two months! 4 Link to post Share on other sites
MidwestUSA Posted April 23, 2016 Share Posted April 23, 2016 That's how my sister met her fiance. He messaged her on Facebook, told her their mutual friend thought they would be a great match and invited her out to coffee. Elegantly done and the wedding is in two months! Bridesmaid? Maid of honor? Link to post Share on other sites
Author LookAtThisPOst Posted April 23, 2016 Author Share Posted April 23, 2016 She may have acted out of concern on behalf of a specific friend? Unless she's been told by her friends, there's no way she would know. In any case, I can't really see the link with her being a man-hater... I was being a bit facetious, but she would make occasional posts on FB on how men would try to approach her out at a local cafe/bistro when out with friends and she that she preferred to be left alone. Didn't really get why she was the only one that had a problem with it, but she had some kind of axe to grind. Link to post Share on other sites
MidwestUSA Posted April 23, 2016 Share Posted April 23, 2016 I was being a bit facetious, but she would make occasional posts on FB on how men would try to approach her out at a local cafe/bistro when out with friends and she that she preferred to be left alone. Didn't really get why she was the only one that had a problem with it, but she had some kind of axe to grind. Perhaps it's not an axe, but she's just not at a point here she wants to date. Nothing sinister or unusual about that. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Kamille Posted April 23, 2016 Share Posted April 23, 2016 The difference between dating sites and Facebook, on FB, you can't assume everyone is out looking to meet other singles. Same goes with bar and bistros. Not everyone is out on the prowl all the time. Bridesmaid? Maid of honor? Maid of honour . Which so far has been the easiest job in the world. My sister is one the world's most organized people. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author LookAtThisPOst Posted April 23, 2016 Author Share Posted April 23, 2016 Perhaps it's not an axe, but she's just not at a point here she wants to date. Nothing sinister or unusual about that. Yeah, but just sayin'....a lot of women have a problem being contacted on Facebook for the purpose of dating...I was just giving an example. Some havev even adjusted their privacy settings to keep others from seeing their friends list, apparently they had complaints of people from their friends list contacting their friends on THEIR friends list. Link to post Share on other sites
Kamille Posted April 23, 2016 Share Posted April 23, 2016 Yeah, but just sayin'....a lot of women have a problem being contacted on Facebook for the purpose of dating...I was just giving an example. Some havev even adjusted their privacy settings to keep others from seeing their friends list, apparently they had complaints of people from their friends list contacting their friends on THEIR friends list. Right. Is this a problem somehow? 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author LookAtThisPOst Posted April 23, 2016 Author Share Posted April 23, 2016 Right. Is this a problem somehow? The point I was making, was how I found it funny how the article deemed it recommended, but I know a lot of women that are against what this article states...there's a few that would likely disagree with this article. Link to post Share on other sites
Aniela Posted April 23, 2016 Share Posted April 23, 2016 Believe it or not, I had a woman that made a post on her page, warning if she finds out men have attempted to contact her mutual friends on FB, she would start unfriending those men. Of course was a known man-hater anyhow *shrug* I know someone who has posted something similar, several times, but she isn't a man-hater. She's been told that several men were acting in a predatory fashion, so she posts that to warn her friends, and deletes the men if she gets several reports about them. Link to post Share on other sites
Aniela Posted April 23, 2016 Share Posted April 23, 2016 Yeah, but just sayin'....a lot of women have a problem being contacted on Facebook for the purpose of dating...I was just giving an example. Some havev even adjusted their privacy settings to keep others from seeing their friends list, apparently they had complaints of people from their friends list contacting their friends on THEIR friends list. I've hidden my friends list. I have no problem with friends becoming friends through my page - I love it when conversations start on links I've posted, as long as no-one is rude, but I had as many things locked down as I could, ages ago, just because I was private, and still can be. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Kamille Posted April 23, 2016 Share Posted April 23, 2016 The point I was making, was how I found it funny how the article deemed it recommended, but I know a lot of women that are against what this article states...there's a few that would likely disagree with this article. And many who would agree. Not all women are the same. Facebook is a way to meet, not one that everyone uses or wants to use. I know, humans are so complex aren't they? 8 Link to post Share on other sites
scorpiogirl Posted April 23, 2016 Share Posted April 23, 2016 Yeah, but just sayin'....a lot of women have a problem being contacted on Facebook for the purpose of dating...I was just giving an example. Some havev even adjusted their privacy settings to keep others from seeing their friends list, apparently they had complaints of people from their friends list contacting their friends on THEIR friends list. This is only a problem if you're trying to be one of THOSE guys, and no FB friend list, meet up member list, or OLD profile is safe from scrutiny. Just because the Time website says to do it, doesn't mean I must do it. Surely it's my choice. Also, certain men know HOW to approach women and others are creeps. My friends are off limits to the creeps but if I know a good guy, chances are I'll talk him up to friends anyway. And I have done this. 5 Link to post Share on other sites
PrettyEmily77 Posted April 23, 2016 Share Posted April 23, 2016 The point I was making, was how I found it funny how the article deemed it recommended, but I know a lot of women that are against what this article states...there's a few that would likely disagree with this article. Some women hate being approached at all, some women enjoy being approached all the time, some women like OLD, some don't, some women like cold approaches, some don't, some women like being approached through FB, some don't, etc. You get the idea. It also works for men, incidentally. If FB has helped some couples get together, more power to them. 5 Link to post Share on other sites
bathtub-row Posted April 24, 2016 Share Posted April 24, 2016 Generally, I don't like being approached on Facebook. However if the guy does it tastefully, I might be ok with it. The other day, a guy put a note on my profile pic and said something along the lines of "can I see more of you?" I didn't like that at all as I don't know him and his comment was suggestive. Not to mention that it was a poor approach. After I thought about it, I removed him as a friend and deleted his comment. And before anyone asks, because of the profession I'm in, I let a lot of people on my Facebook page but I still screen them to a point. Anyway that guy screwed up. Another guy sent me a private message the other day. I replied to him and then he replied back. He kept commenting on my looks and telling me I was intelligent. The guy doesn't even know me. I could be an idiot for all he knows. Anyway he's apparently very well educated but sounded like a child in his messages to me. Now I feel stuck because I really don't want to talk to him and now I have to think of a way to phase him out. This is why I don't like being approached on Facebook. I often feel cornered. Link to post Share on other sites
xxoo Posted April 24, 2016 Share Posted April 24, 2016 The point I was making, was how I found it funny how the article deemed it recommended, but I know a lot of women that are against what this article states...there's a few that would likely disagree with this article. And those women have the option of adjusting their privacy settings accordingly, avoiding any confusion. Maybe facebook really is the ideal place to meet! 3 Link to post Share on other sites
MidwestUSA Posted April 24, 2016 Share Posted April 24, 2016 Maybe facebook really is the ideal place to meet! Hey, you may be right! Have I told you my story? Oh, yea, sorry. Don't want to be repetitive. Link to post Share on other sites
scorpiogirl Posted April 24, 2016 Share Posted April 24, 2016 Hey, you may be right! Have I told you my story? Oh, yea, sorry. Don't want to be repetitive. Tell it again. You can never tell the same story too many times. Did it happen in a coffee shop at Christmas? 3 Link to post Share on other sites
MidwestUSA Posted April 24, 2016 Share Posted April 24, 2016 (edited) Tell it again. You can never tell the same story too many times. Did it happen in a coffee shop at Christmas? No, it wasn't that exciting. It wasn't even near a holiday, February 20th to be exact. Now that may be a holiday somewhere, but, I digress. Many of the newbies here have wanted to hear it, and I've felt it my 'duty' to tell. It's somewhat embarrassing, really. I noticed that I was participating, on Facebook, in a discussion about Roger Hodgson's 'Fool's Overture'. Quite the masterpiece, really. You should find it on YouTube, if you're not familiar. But, I digress. Again. Anywho, this other dude was quite passionate about the music as well. As you might guess, that dude is now H. The only other things we have in common are liking our steaks rare, and preferring bleu cheese dressing. Pretty romantic, isn't it? Oh, almost forgot. When I found out that he had only had two wisdom teeth come in (the top), I knew. You see, I had only my bottoms come in. We're two half wits, thrown together by fate. Thanks, Roger! Edited April 24, 2016 by MidwestUSA 4 Link to post Share on other sites
scorpiogirl Posted April 24, 2016 Share Posted April 24, 2016 No, it wasn't that exciting. It wasn't even near a holiday, February 20th to be exact. Now that may be a holiday somewhere, but, I digress. Many of the newbies here have wanted to hear it, and I've felt it my 'duty' to tell. It's somewhat embarrassing, really. I noticed that I was participating, on Facebook, in a discussion about Roger Hodgson's 'Fool's Overture'. Quite the masterpiece, really. You should find it on YouTube, if you're not familiar. But, I digress. Again. Anywho, this other dude was quite passionate about the music as well. As you might guess, that dude is now H. The only other things we have in common are liking our steaks rare, and preferring bleu cheese dressing. Pretty romantic, isn't it? Oh, almost forgot. When I found out that he had only had two wisdom teeth come in (the top), I knew. You see, I had only my bottoms come in. We're two half wits, thrown together by fate. Thanks, Roger! Meant to be. :love::love: And you say he lived close by? So you didn't even have to relocate. Just goes to show you. Pity about it not being at Christmas though 4 Link to post Share on other sites
MidwestUSA Posted April 24, 2016 Share Posted April 24, 2016 Meant to be. :love::love: And you say he lived close by? So you didn't even have to relocate. Just goes to show you. Pity about it not being at Christmas though I know. At Christmas, I was still mired in the muck of OLD. And he was busy being evicted from his home (he was served on Christmas Eve). Had I been free, he could have just moved in with me then, rather than with his brother. Win/win. Like a Hallmark Christmas movie! 4 Link to post Share on other sites
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